Why flame a potentially suicidal person?

[Chupacabra 44]

Why does it seem to me that periodically people go out of their way to a flame a poster? I saw an extreme case of this yesterday.

What is to be gained by taking this approach? Help me understand.

Maybe we should think twice before we post something unnecessarily antagonizing?

Perhaps somebody could start a comedy thread and we could try and focus our jokes there as opposed to a thread started by a member clearly in pain and potentially suffering significant mental illness?

Many of us here have mental health issues - myself included. Please give the other member the benefit of the doubt that mental illness might be in play and perhaps think twice before flaming these people.

Does seeing this bother anyone else?

 

[L I F E T O L O S E]

nop,in the truth I registered here to see someone encourage me,I hadn't seen the rules.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

1. Not everyone on SS is suicidal, some have predatory / scheming / charlatan behavior. Basically taking advantage of vulnerable members of the community.

2. If you are referring to the poster I think you are, I don't know what mental illness you might be thinking of to justify that thread. Give me an example and I'll listen.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

1. Not everyone on SS is suicidal, some have predatory / scheming / charlatan behavior. Basically taking advantage of vulnerable members of the community.

2. If you are referring to the poster I think you are, I don't know what mental illness you might be thinking of to justify that thread. Give me an example and I'll listen.

Thank you for the reply. I understand that not everyone here is suicidal; just as I understand everyone here does not have mental illness. However, to better protect all members, personally, I make the assumption that every poster here could potentially fall into each of these categories. This assumption governs my behavior and directly influences every single post I make.

It was in the dating thread. I intentionally did not read many replies, because I knew what was likely to follow in that thread was likely to become a train wreck. I saw someone post something that I felt was extremely offensive in that it was comparing the OP to the mass murderer in Isla Vista. I think this crossed the line.

 

[death137]

Yeah seeing like that bothers me. I've seen some the latest being what happened yesterday. There were some ppl who tried to help but most of the comments weren't helpful. There is even one person who went further and opened a thread to mock his post. This is unacceptable.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Yeah seeing like that bothers me. I've seen some the latest being what happened yesterday. There were some ppl who tried to help but most of the comments weren't helpful. There is even one person who went further and opened a thread to mock his post. This is unacceptable.

No one is more sensitive than I am. To protect myself, I only read three or four comments. I did not want to cause myself pain by reading how others were potentially causing pain to the OP.

One never knows how that information is going to be received and what the possible outcome might be.

And frankly, I'm not necessarily judging too harshly the individual who posted that mass murderer link, because frankly, I might have done something like this too in my younger years. This is an illustration of wisdom that comes with age. I am older now and I would never do something like this. But, at the age of 20....... Yeah I might have thought this was funny and then done this exact same thing.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Can a mod add please change my thread title to "why flame a potentially suicidal person".

1. Not everyone on SS is suicidal, some have predatory / scheming / charlatan behavior. Basically taking advantage of vulnerable members of the community.

2. If you are referring to the poster I think you are, I don't know what mental illness you might be thinking of to justify that thread. Give me an example and I'll listen.

Thank you for helping me think about your post. I realize I was sloppy with my thread title and I just posted for a mod to help change my title to reflect better what I was intending to state.

Do I need to tag them to do this for me? Do I open a ticket for this?

 

[Ghost2211]

Though I understand what you're intending I must say even in this community certain social norms exist, and it is natural for people to point it out when something goes way outside of the social comfort zone. Humor is used to lighten the awkward energy and encourage community. I don't think it's a good thing when such things happen, but I get it.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Though I understand what you're intending I must say even in this community certain social norms exist, and it is natural for people to point it out when something goes way outside of the social comfort zone. Humor is used to lighten the awkward energy and encourage community. I don't think it's a good thing when such things happen, but I get it.

Thank you for the reply.

Maybe the answer is I just need to avoid reading those types of threads for my own personal self protection. Responses in threads like those make it literally so I can't sleep at night...believe it or not.

 

[death137]

Thank you for the reply.

Maybe the answer is I just need to avoid reading those types of threads for my own personal self protection. Responses in threads like those make it literally so I can't sleep at night...believe it or not.

Why are you very sensitive? Is it some mental or just a general caring thing? I'm curious.

 

[Ghost2211]

Thank you for the reply.

Maybe the answer is I just need to avoid reading those types of threads for my own personal self protection. Responses in threads like those make it literally so I can't sleep at night...believe it or not.

That must be very stressful. I'm sure it's not the intention for people to cause harm, but rather get their thoughts and feelings out there. A lot of us are loners, so if the group gives a chance for community a lot of people will jump on the bus (not that bus). Sending you hugs and love. Take care of yourself.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Why are you very sensitive? Is it some mental or just a general caring thing? I'm curious.

I don't know but geez I'm so dysfunctional from it. I did a thread a couple days ago called "isolation". I share my information in there if you're curious to see it.

If anybody has any suggestions or theories how to become less sensitive I am all ears.

I don't know but geez I'm so dysfunctional from it. I did a thread a couple days ago called "isolation". I share my information in there if you're curious to see it.

If anybody has any suggestions or theories how to become less sensitive I am all ears.

And actually to better clarify my thread on isolation is more about the impact and not necessarily about the cause.

That must be very stressful. I'm sure it's not the intention for people to cause harm, but rather get their thoughts and feelings out there. A lot of us are loners, so if the group gives a chance for community a lot of people will jump on the bus (not that bus). Sending you hugs and love. Take care of yourself.

Thank you for acknowledging that. It's horrible!

And frankly, the stress of being an active member here now has me teetering in and out of hypomania.

Why are you very sensitive? Is it some mental or just a general caring thing? I'm curious.

I looked a little bit into this dysfunction and I was reading some of the diagnostics for one being an"empath", but I did not think I met that threshold. Perhaps I need to read more about that?

 

[Life_is_comedy]

Why does it seem to me that periodically people go out of their way to a flame a poster? I saw an extreme case of this yesterday.

What is to be gained by taking this approach? Help me understand.

Maybe we should think twice before we post something unnecessarily antagonizing?

Perhaps somebody could start a comedy thread and we could try and focus our jokes there as opposed to a thread started by a member clearly in pain and potentially suffering significant mental illness?

Many of us here have mental health issues - myself included. Please give the other member the benefit of the doubt that mental illness might be in play and perhaps think twice before flaming these people.

Does seeing this bother anyone else?

I can't really form an opinion based on what you saw since I don't even know the post you're referring to but disagreements have always been a part of human life. Always has been, always will be. Unless it borders outright harassment, doxxing, online bullying and outright being an a.s.shole about it, I really don't see any issues with people posting what they have to say in their mind.

 

[DyingAlf]

It was in the dating thread.

There is no dating thread.
If you are referring to the partners thread, that is not for dating, it is for finding other people (partners) to ctb together.
But I'm guessing you're referring to the post some guy made looking for "female friends"?? (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong).
If so, that's why he got flamed!
Coming onto a Suicide support website & preying on potentially vulnerable women is not OK. It's a boundary which is not OK to cross. Yes I understand that he may also be vulnerable & he seems to have mental health problems (a guess based on some of his other comments & posts) but that still does not make his post OK.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

1. Not everyone on SS is suicidal, some have predatory / scheming / charlatan behavior. Basically taking advantage of vulnerable members of the community.

2. If you are referring to the poster I think you are, I don't know what mental illness you might be thinking of to justify that thread. Give me an example and I'll listen.

I just reported my thread #8 to the mods using the report thread feature, because it's bugging me that I phrased my thread title so poorly. Hopefully a mod will see this reporting quickly and be able to change my thread title.

If not but for your post, I would not have seen my error.....and even then it took me a half hour to connect the dots. Lol

Thank you for your approach with that . I'm glad you did not flame me!

 

[Spitfire]

Thank you for the reply.

Maybe the answer is I just need to avoid reading those types of threads for my own personal self protection. Responses in threads like those make it literally so I can't sleep at night...believe it or not.

Hey, you asked in the other post you made right here on this thread about advice to be less sensitive. I do not know the answer? I do not think there is any way to really change it for how you describe it? The medical community has coined a term for this, and it is called HSP, or Highly Sensitive Person. The term they used has very obvious wording (and some may not understand the legitimacy of it because of this).. for this phenomenon. It is a very real thing.

If you fall into this category, as do I, we truly really do experience the world differently than others who do not have HSP could ever possibly understand, in our own way. Everyone of course experiences the world differently, but I am talking on the specifics to an HSP person.

Approximately 15% of the population are HSPs. As difficult as it is (or can be), I still think of it as a highly cherished gift to be this way. Literally, can be taking on the feelings of others, as our own. I could be wrong on it for you... but I don't think so?

You sound like you are one of the 15%

 

[Meditation guide]

It was in the dating thread.

As a "female" I have encountered predators a lot. Throughout my life. I have learned to recognize them. There is a type that has such a definite pattern it is unmistakable. It's as if they are cloned. I realize you are not familiar with this. That could be the reason it offended you.

I realize if you don't know what I'm talking about you would think that was just some sweet lonely guy. It's understandable how you would think that. I have had this same exact script run on me too many times to count, the script they use.
I do not mean it is an actual script. I mean it is a sign of what is a remarkable pattern that a certain type follows. It's uncanny in the similarity. And yes, it was extremely similar to the mass murderer video, although I am not intending to imply that the person who posted that is the same thing but it's the same pattern. Lonely guy can't find a girlfriend and is scouting for females to supply his need for female companionship. And he is such an incredibly great guy but no on will "give him a chance". And he just wants friendship, and won't "rush things". Unless you know what I'm talking about and have been there like I have you wouldn't understand.

I was very concerned that some naive young lady would have the same reaction you did, that it is a sweet lonely guy openly proclaiming his loneliness and desire for female friends.
1. this is not a dating site
2. that was full of red flags for predatory behavior

I hope you understand, we need to look out for what could possibly be danger on this site.

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

If you're referring to the thread I think you're, then you must understand that it sounded a bit suspicious to some people and there already were predatory individuals on this site because it's easy to target vulnerable people. What you saw was something like a defense mechanism.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

There is no dating thread.
If you are referring to the partners thread, that is not for dating, it is for finding other people (partners) to ctb together.
But I'm guessing you're referring to the post some guy made looking for "female friends"?? (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong).
If so, that's why he got flamed!
Coming onto a Suicide support website & preying on potentially vulnerable women is not OK. It's a boundary which is not OK to cross. Yes I understand that he may also be vulnerable & he seems to have mental health problems (a guess based on some of his other comments & posts) but that still does not make his post OK.
[/QUOTE


You are correct. I was just trying to be a little ambiguous as far as the specific thread so as not to be pointing my finger at any individual poster more or less. Perhaps I should have been more specific in my OP, but I just didn't want anyone within that thread to feel picked on. To do so would only make me a hypocrite in my opinion.

Sorry for any confusion.

I was just making an ambiguous point and not trying to directly attack the person who posted that Isla Vista mass murder video.

Obviously this discussion pulled that information into this thread. Based on your valuable comment maybe I'll need to be fully direct next time if I were to post something like this again.

Thank you for your reply.

Hey, you asked in the other post you made right here on this thread about advice to be less sensitive. I do not know the answer? I do not think there is any way to really change it for how you describe it? The medical community has coined a term for this, and it is called HSP, or Highly Sensitive Person. The term they used has very obvious wording (and some may not understand the legitimacy of it because of this).. for this phenomenon. It is a very real thing.

If you fall into this category, as do I, we truly really do experience the world differently than others who do not have HSP could ever possibly understand, in our own way. Everyone of course experiences the world differently, but I am talking on the specifics to an HSP person.

Approximately 15% of the population are HSPs. As difficult as it is (or can be), I still think of it as a highly cherished gift to be this way. Literally, can be taking on the feelings of others, as our own. I could be wrong on it for you... but I don't think so?

You sound like you are one of the 15%

Thank you for taking your time to try and possibly help me.

No doubt from my personal opinion I'm in that 15%. I'm not familiar with HSP, so thank you very much to pointing out I will absolutely research this tonight to learn more! I'm a recluse because of this.

 

[Meditation guide]

I can't find that thread now from the lonely guy so I'm hoping it was removed. It was inappropriate for this site.

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

I can't find that thread now from the lonely guy so I'm hoping it was removed. It was inappropriate for this site.

Link doesn't work, so seems like it was.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Thank you for all of the replies.

I can tell by my OP that maybe I should have been 100% direct. What troubled me was the person who posted the mass murder video.

The three or four other posts I read I could sympathize and I would have never made this thread if not but for the mass murder video.

I think I should have just been completely direct in the OP sorry if it didn't feel good on your end! But, I didn't want to be a hypocrite and point the finger at the member who put that video in that link.

Does this make sense, and am I being clear?

All other posts that I read - I understood why you took the positions that you did.

Frankly, I thought that post from OP was extremely cringy, and if I were in some other members' shoes, I am sure I would have chimed in as well.

I am learning also that I am too sensitive to be the one making moralistic type decisions on what should or shouldn't be posted on SS.

Apologies if I ruffled any feathers.

 

[Meditation guide]

That post from him and then that video, the exact same sickness (malignant narcissim) made my skin crawl, and brought out some PTSD from these types of individuals in my past. That is seriously dangerous. These types are to be avoided at all cost.

The video simply showed an extreme example of the exact same thought processes in these individuals.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I can't find that thread now from the lonely guy so I'm hoping it was removed. It was inappropriate for this site.

I 100% agree it was a horrible thread!

 

[Ghost2211]

Yeah, I don't think the video was intended to be mean, but more of a wow this predatory vibe looks familiar. As a female I get it.

 

[almost_dead]

lmao "the dating thread"

 

[Chupacabra 44]

That post from him and then that video, the exact same sickness (malignant narcissim) made my skin crawl, and brought out some PTSD from these types of individuals in my past. That is seriously dangerous. These types are to be avoided at all cost.

The video simply showed an extreme example of the exact same thought processes in these individuals.

I'm so sorry. Hopefully my OP didn't make you feel worst.

That post from him and then that video, the exact same sickness (malignant narcissim) made my skin crawl, and brought out some PTSD from these types of individuals in my past. That is seriously dangerous. These types are to be avoided at all cost.

The video simply showed an extreme example of the exact same thought processes in these individuals.

That post from him and then that video, the exact same sickness (malignant narcissim) made my skin crawl, and brought out some PTSD from these types of individuals in my past. That is seriously dangerous. These types are to be avoided at all cost.

The video simply showed an extreme example of the exact same thought processes in these individuals.

Frankly, I think that thread should have been immediately deleted. But if allowed to continue I definitely think that mass murder video should have been deleted.

Just my opinion.

Yeah, I don't think the video was intended to be mean, but more of a wow this predatory vibe looks familiar. As a female I get it.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

If your referring to the "seeking a female" thread I'll explain why I left the comment I made. Lots of women like myself are here because of abuse from ex's and men in general. We are not here to give someone a "girlfriend experience" . To me the post gave off a bad predator vibe because he was asking for a "female to supply" him with a girlfriend experience. If he just wanted friends why not include everyone? I have seen WAY too many predators here in my time and I think healthy skepticism and caution was warranted with that post. I didn't think I was flaming someone who was potentially suicidal I feel like it's good to warn about an alarming post like that. This is not a "hook up or a dating site" people here are suffering and sadly far too many get exploited. If he sincerely wants to meet women go to a dating site not SS.

And for people who have made lasting genuine friendships here that's great. I have made lots of wonderful genuine friends here. I just think healthy caution is very important... exploiting vulnerable people who are suffering is about as low someone can go and it happens too much sadly.

 

[Mm80]

Why does it seem to me that periodically people go out of their way to a flame a poster? I saw an extreme case of this yesterday.

What is to be gained by taking this approach? Help me understand.

Maybe we should think twice before we post something unnecessarily antagonizing?

Perhaps somebody could start a comedy thread and we could try and focus our jokes there as opposed to a thread started by a member clearly in pain and potentially suffering significant mental illness?

You raise a good point. I don't always think the responses are aimed toake someone feel worse but im sure sometimes they do.
Many of the members have been through a lot and when they see something that triggers them or raises a red flag, they respond bluntly.
Sometimes its tough love, but i do get what you mean it could push someone over.
I dont lnow what the answer is tbh
Many of us here have mental health issues - myself included. Please give the other member the benefit of the doubt that mental illness might be in play and perhaps think twice before flaming these people.

Does seeing this bother anyone else?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

If your referring to the "seeking a female" thread I'll explain why I left the comment I made. Lots of women like myself are here because of abuse from ex's and men in general. We are not here to give someone a "girlfriend experience" . To me the post gave off a bad predator vibe because he was asking for a "female to supply" him with a girlfriend experience. If he just wanted friends why not include everyone? I have seen WAY too many predators here in my time and I think healthy skepticism and caution was warranted with that post. I didn't think I was flaming someone who was potentially suicidal I feel like it's good to warn about an alarming post like that. This is not a "hook up or a dating site" people here are suffering and sadly far too many get exploited. If he sincerely wants to meet women go to a dating site not SS.

And for people who have made lasting genuine friendships here that's great. I have made lots of wonderful genuine friends here. I just think healthy caution is very important... exploiting vulnerable people who are suffering is about as low someone can go and it happens too much sadly.

I agree. It gave me really bad vibes. I just kept my thoughts to myself and tried to ignore it.