Venting Why don't people get it?

[athousandsorrows]

Why do people think one is simply lazy, unwilling to be happy, unwilling to change or try harder? People honestly think it's one's fault in every single aspect to be feeling this way. When you come to the conclusion that you want to end your life, it should be assumed that you have damn good reasons for arriving to that conclusion! It angers me so much to be so misunderstood. I feel like I've tried my best to live a happy life and I just can't be happy. There's no magic switch that you willingly turn on or off for happiness. You either are and can be happy, or you aren't or can't.- That's it. I'm being constantly attacked for "being lazy" or "not wanting to change", as if it truly were a choice! Hell, if I could choose to be happy, I would be! Why do people think you LIKE living in misery? I'm so angry. Just wanted to vent a little since I just had a horrible conversation with someone trying to convince me it's all on me. To those people who just want to impose their way of thinking, I say F%$K YOU!

 

[Lucas]

I say yet again that it's a waste of energy to be angry at people who don't get it.

I know this is going offtopic, but what has helped me let go of the anger or when people say just the most silliest things or hold the most retarded views is when you realize that we are basically just overgrown children in adult's clothing, nothing else. Nobody knows what they are doing. Everybody's faking it till they make it. When you learn that, you also learn that everything people say are just from their point of view and their opinion which is mixed with life experiences and insecurities. And sometimes there are some people who just talk for the sake of talking, without having any real meaning. So it's pointless to overanalyze things that people say, it only matters what you think yourself, because in the end, we only have ourselves.

The irony here is that you shouldn't even listen to me.

 

[Lara Francis]

Most people do not understand depresson until they have experienced it for themselves.I have to admit that I was once one of those people until 2 years ago.
A lot of people can empathise,and there are those that think you can just snap out of it! .If only it where that simple everyone in the world would be happy.Your life is your own and ultimately it is your decision to do what you want.sometimes if your suffering and pain is too much then why stick around,besides most people have given life a chance to improve but it may or may not get better and there is only so much you can take and give back.

 

[athousandsorrows]

Most people do not understand depresson until they have experienced it for themselves.I have to admit that I was once one of those people until 2 years ago.
A lot of people can empathise,and there are those that think you can just snap out of it! .If only it where that simple everyone in the world would be happy.Your life is your own and ultimately it is your decision to do what you want.sometimes if your suffering and pain is too much then why stick around,besides most people have given life a chance to improve but it may or may not get better and there is only so much you can take and give back.

I absolutely agree!

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

the emperor is naked.

no one ever admits that.

most people on this board get it .

" low expectations and insensitivity " a strategy for happiness ( callousness ) (?) employed by the philistines who tranquilize themselves with the trivial.

fuck 'em.

( kierkaargaaaaaaaaard via Otto Rank via Ernest Becker )

 

[itsallover]

The world has to catch up. In Northern Europe euthanasia has been approved for people with severe mental problems refractory to medication and therapy as well as unbearable physical conditions that are not terminal. I have both and it sucks that I'm living in the US which is basically a prison system. We have five percent of the world's population and twenty percent of all prisoners. Prisons are privately owned so it's basically a business. The reason why only a few states allow euthanasia for terminal illness is because there is so much money to be made I end of life treatment and hospice. This world is truly disgusting. Everyone fears nuclear war but that is exactly what humanity deserves.

 

[athousandsorrows]

The world has to catch up. In Northern Europe euthanasia has been approved for people with severe mental problems refractory to medication and therapy as well as unbearable physical conditions that are not terminal. I have both and it sucks that I'm living in the US which is basically a prison system. We have five percent of the world's population and twenty percent of all prisoners. Prisons are privately owned so it's basically a business. The reason why only a few states allow euthanasia for terminal illness is because there is so much money to be made I end of life treatment and hospice. This world is truly disgusting. Everyone fears nuclear war but that is exactly what humanity deserves.

Yeah, the world is disgusting and humanity is devolving quicker and quicker (in my humble opinion). All everyone cares about is money, something WE invented to keep the order and it's just tearing us apart. The way society is structured is just set up to benefit a few, have the majority "content" following orders, working 9 to 5, like sheep, all to help the 1% be on top, and all for what? Money. Makes no sense to me, at all. I'm not of any political party, thought I should clarify. I just think everything is wrong. I often fantasize about some apocalyptic event that will wipe us all out, or at the very least the vast majority of the world, and if I were to survive, then yeah, I'd give life a shot because everything could change if we had to start over, but as things stand now, I just want out.

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

how many fingers am i holding up ?

( the falsehood is truth trope from 1984 )

all culture is a lie .

see how many friends you make pushing that idea out in front of you .

people are cowards hiding under there sanctified labels.

despair is the truth of the human condition , and it is a valid response to our insane situation .

virtue has been kidnapped by monetized meritocracy ( as i interpret you ) ...

society is retarded and we are expected to wave flags and join the march . ( unbareable lightnessof being ).

there is a middle way.
functioning with knowlege of the insanity .
i can't do it but know people who do.

but they don't really .


you need that pure denial in the mainline

 

[athousandsorrows]

how many fingers am i holding up ?

( the falsehood is truth trope from 1984 )

all culture is a lie .

see how many friends you make pushing that idea out in front of you .

people are cowards hiding under there sanctified labels.

despair is the truth of the human condition , and it is a valid response to our insane situation .

virtue has been kidnapped by monetized meritocracy ( as i interpret you ) ...

society is retarded and we are expected to wave flags and join the march . ( unbareable lightnessof being ).

there is a middle way.
functioning with knowlege of the insanity .
i can't do it but know people who do.

but they don't really .


you need that pure denial in the mainline

I like you

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

I'm a charming arsehole irl too.

shallow as an oily puddle.

I'm sorry we share this bleak vision .

 

[caffeine]

By admitting that you had no choice in the matter, they are also admitting that their own happiness was not much of a choice. People want to feel as though they've earned their place in life. To accept the possibility that they were just dealt a much better hand in life is damaging to their ego. It means they can no longer think of themselves as superior to you, so they lash out and insist that your misery is your own choice.

I have to agree with Lucas, it's pointless to waste energy being angry over it. Just do your best to avoid people like this.

 

[athousandsorrows]

By admitting that you had no choice in the matter, they are also admitting that their own happiness was not much of a choice. People want to feel as though they've earned their place in life. To accept the possibility that they were just dealt a much better hand in life is damaging to their ego. It means they can no longer think of themselves as superior to you, so they lash out and insist that your misery is your own choice.

I have to agree with Lucas, it's pointless to waste energy being angry over it. Just do your best to avoid people like this.

I hadn't thought of it like that, but makes perfect sense to me. Thank you!

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

i thought you might like this quote from me guru ...

he's got all this culture is a lie sorted .

 

[athousandsorrows]

View attachment 211

i thought you might like this quote from me guru ...

he's got all this culture is a lie sorted .

love it!

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

The denial of death .... the musical.


how we laughed

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

love it!

Becker is /was the man .

changed my life .

someone understood my outsider vision .

it is a world view not smiled upon by the pill pushing happiness peddlers .

unhappiness is an emotional response to rational clarity .

 

[deflagrat]

The world has to catch up. In Northern Europe euthanasia has been approved for people with severe mental problems refractory to medication and therapy as well as unbearable physical conditions that are not terminal. I have both and it sucks that I'm living in the US which is basically a prison system. We have five percent of the world's population and twenty percent of all prisoners. Prisons are privately owned so it's basically a business. The reason why only a few states allow euthanasia for terminal illness is because there is so much money to be made I end of life treatment and hospice. This world is truly disgusting. Everyone fears nuclear war but that is exactly what humanity deserves.

I wish Spain had the same laws as USA, I would have bought a shotgun and I would be already dead. You can't expect people to give you permission to die, that's not how the world works, even if they wanted to say yes they would have to say no. Take the matter into your own hands.

 

[athousandsorrows]

I wish Spain had the same laws as USA, I would have bought a shotgun and I would be already dead. You can't expect people to give you permission to die, that's not how the world works, even if they wanted to say yes they would have to say no. Take the matter into your own hands.

As a Spanish citizen you can travel to the US without a visa. Tendrías que ahorrar para el viaje pero una vez ahí comprar armas es ridículamente fácil. Don't know if we're allowed to write in other languages besides English so switching back. But like I said, you can always go on vacation, buy that gun, die away from home and save your family and friends the horror of finding you. Doesn't sound so bad to me.

 

[deflagrat]

As a Spanish citizen you can travel to the US without a visa. Tendrías que ahorrar para el viaje pero una vez ahí comprar armas es ridículamente fácil. Don't know if we're allowed to write in other languages besides English so switching back. But like I said, you can always go on vacation, buy that gun, die away from home and save your family and friends the horror of finding you. Doesn't sound so bad to me.

As far as I know you can't buy guns if you are a foreigner, or so I have been told.

Si yo fuera de México me iría a una ciudad de allí a probar suerte en los centros veterinarios, o iría a Perú a comprarlo (imagino que viajar desde México debe ser más barato que comprar Nembutal de Alejandro). Aquí el único método de suicidio disponible es el nitrito de sodio.

If I was from Mexico I would buy Nembutal there, maybe try in Peru (it should be cheaper, right?). In Spain the only easy way to die is with Sodium Nitrite.

 

[athousandsorrows]

Should be, but it's not, especially if you're unemployed :P I'm not from Mexico though, I'm just living in Mexico, not that it makes that much of a difference anyway, not saying where I'm actually from bc I want to keep some things to myself. I too have Spanish citizenship, but traveling anywhere is just out of the question because of the no money situation lol. In any case, it's interesting to know how different laws in different countries affect the way in which people choose to die, right? I find it very curious.

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

I often fantasize about some apocalyptic event that will wipe us all out, or at the very least the vast majority of the world, and if I were to survive, then yeah, I'd give life a shot because everything could change if we had to start over, but as things stand now, I just want out.

 

[athousandsorrows]

I laughed :) I'm not American, so this type of scenario is not my fantasy lol. More like an outer-space type event like what happened to the dinosaurs :P

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

I laughed :) I'm not American, so this type of scenario is not my fantasy lol. More like an outer-space type event like what happened to the dinosaurs :P

I'm not American

me neither ( a blessing to be counted , these days )

- we are the next great extinction event ... just a thought to cheer you up ... straight from my heart of gold.

thanks for your appreciation.
it's been nice .

actually inspired me to atleast make an online enquiry about something positive .

for me , i think , wallowing in the hopelessness of it all can be grounding , maybe releasing .

releasing us to live 'despite ' the evil living death we are born into.

sorry if thats sickeningly smug.

I'm a mood swinger , somethin' awful sometimes , so i can pendulum from ok to 'the horror' with imperceptible ease.

 

[Michel Angelo]

Why do people think one is simply lazy, unwilling to be happy, unwilling to change or try harder? People honestly think it's one's fault in every single aspect to be feeling this way. When you come to the conclusion that you want to end your life, it should be assumed that you have damn good reasons for arriving to that conclusion! It angers me so much to be so misunderstood. I feel like I've tried my best to live a happy life and I just can't be happy. There's no magic switch that you willingly turn on or off for happiness. You either are and can be happy, or you aren't or can't.- That's it. I'm being constantly attacked for "being lazy" or "not wanting to change", as if it truly were a choice! Hell, if I could choose to be happy, I would be! Why do people think you LIKE living in misery? I'm so angry. Just wanted to vent a little since I just had a horrible conversation with someone trying to convince me it's all on me. To those people who just want to impose their way of thinking, I say F%$K YOU!

Most people you will meet are either unable intellectually or unwilling ontologically to see things from a different perspective other than their own - and therefore what they tell you generally works for them, and may not work for you. Due to individuated consciousnesses we really are all sollipsists (or however one spells the damn work, u get the idea) and my reality will always be a little different than yours - And that is assuming the person is being honest with you without any other agenda, and that you are talking about the same things, some care more about success regardless of how they got there, some value truth to the detriment of success, and the like.

Once you realize such, that in all conversations you are essentially putting apples to oranges, conversations become a lot easier, and hopefully a little less personally aggrandizing.

 

[athousandsorrows]

Most people you will meet are either unable intellectually or unwilling ontologically to see things from a different perspective other than their own - and therefore what they tell you generally works for them, and may not work for you. Due to individuated consciousnesses we really are all sollipsists (or however one spells the damn work, u get the idea) and my reality will always be a little different than yours - And that is assuming the person is being honest with you without any other agenda, and that you are talking about the same things, some care more about success regardless of how they got there, some value truth to the detriment of success, and the like.

Once you realize such, that in all conversations you are essentially putting apples to oranges, conversations become a lot easier, and hopefully a little less personally aggrandizing.

Thank you! I've really liked your replies. You've made me think (even more!). It's true we all perceive reality in different ways, completely different for everyone, even when going through the same life events together. It's amazed me how my family has conveniently "forgotten" about all the crap we've gone through, and that just makes me feel extra insane. Am I the only one who lived this?! How come for YOU (x person in my family) it wasn't that big a deal and for me it was completely devastating? How could you have forgotten about X event when it's all I can think about? It's really frustrating, I imagine for both parties. The thing that bothers me the most is knowing how I would react to them if they came to me for help, like I have so many times, and seeing them react in the complete opposite way. It just boggles me.

I can't count the times my brother came to me for refuge, just cause he wanted to hide from the rest of the world, or have someone to NOT talk to, just sitting there next to me doing nothing and that was comforting for him and I never turned him away. A few days ago he called me to let me know my cat (that he's taking care of and living with) was "acting weird". I rushed over to take him to the vet if necessary and see what was going on. The cat was thankfully fine, but I told my brother I wanted to stay for a couple of hours with the cat to monitor him in case indeed something was going on. And he told me "not to abuse my welcome". Pretty much throwing me out of the house when he wasn't even there. It hurt me so deeply. I will never understand the utter selfishness of some people and how little they remember.

 

[athousandsorrows]

I'm not American

me neither ( a blessing to be counted , these days )

- we are the next great extinction event ... just a thought to cheer you up ... straight from my heart of gold.

thanks for your appreciation.
it's been nice .

actually inspired me to atleast make an online enquiry about something positive .

for me , i think , wallowing in the hopelessness of it all can be grounding , maybe releasing .

releasing us to live 'despite ' the evil living death we are born into.

sorry if thats sickeningly smug.

I'm a mood swinger , somethin' awful sometimes , so i can pendulum from ok to 'the horror' with imperceptible ease.

I'm glad sweety! Like I said, I like you! Thank you also for sharing your thoughts with me :)

 

[Severen]

Why do people think one is simply lazy, unwilling to be happy, unwilling to change or try harder? People honestly think it's one's fault in every single aspect to be feeling this way. When you come to the conclusion that you want to end your life, it should be assumed that you have damn good reasons for arriving to that conclusion! It angers me so much to be so misunderstood. I feel like I've tried my best to live a happy life and I just can't be happy. There's no magic switch that you willingly turn on or off for happiness. You either are and can be happy, or you aren't or can't.- That's it. I'm being constantly attacked for "being lazy" or "not wanting to change", as if it truly were a choice! Hell, if I could choose to be happy, I would be! Why do people think you LIKE living in misery? I'm so angry. Just wanted to vent a little since I just had a horrible conversation with someone trying to convince me it's all on me. To those people who just want to impose their way of thinking, I say F%$K YOU!

Most people are incapable of empathy.

 

[Michel Angelo]

Thank you! I've really liked your replies. You've made me think (even more!). It's true we all perceive reality in different ways, completely different for everyone, even when going through the same life events together. It's amazed me how my family has conveniently "forgotten" about all the crap we've gone through, and that just makes me feel extra insane. Am I the only one who lived this?! How come for YOU (x person in my family) it wasn't that big a deal and for me it was completely devastating? How could you have forgotten about X event when it's all I can think about? It's really frustrating, I imagine for both parties. The thing that bothers me the most is knowing how I would react to them if they came to me for help, like I have so many times, and seeing them react in the complete opposite way. It just boggles me.

I can't count the times my brother came to me for refuge, just cause he wanted to hide from the rest of the world, or have someone to NOT talk to, just sitting there next to me doing nothing and that was comforting for him and I never turned him away. A few days ago he called me to let me know my cat (that he's taking care of and living with) was "acting weird". I rushed over to take him to the vet if necessary and see what was going on. The cat was thankfully fine, but I told my brother I wanted to stay for a couple of hours with the cat to monitor him in case indeed something was going on. And he told me "not to abuse my welcome". Pretty much throwing me out of the house when he wasn't even there. It hurt me so deeply. I will never understand the utter selfishness of some people and how little they remember.

Personality typing can be extremely useful when learning how other people tick, there are common attributes to certain types, (lookup personality typology, otherwise known as the MBTI) which I've found suprisingly accurate, once you figure out which type the people you are talking to are. I know there are better typing methods than the MBTI, though that's only what I'm familiar with. Differences include people who see "the forest" or individual trees, extroverted versus introverted, Perceiving versus judging, rational versus feeling, etc. At the vary least, if you get the chance try typing yourself, it might also help delineate your differences from others, at least what I typed out at (INTP) was suprisingly accurate.

As far as reciprocity from those you've given time and energy to, the general rule I try to be is gracious with your time/energy to a certain point, however if the sort of person doesn't reciprocate or you think they never would reciprocate they are not worth your time. There are many takers who see it as a zero sum game in their heads (allow givers to give to 'em, but never offer anything, etc) and generally once I figure that out usually I tell 'em to fuck off, somewhat difficult to do in your circumstances, but if they are being that selfish then minimize contact and giving, and make sure you never do if they ever want something in return.

I've had somewhat of a similar situation with my sister, extremely selfish with her time, and she has no understanding of reciprocity, and just generally uses people - she doesn't even think she uses people, when it's patently obvious. Nor will convincing her of anything outside of her own ignorant view, as to do such isn't helpful to her feeling good about herself, and it's better to live in la la land than have any grasp of reality for her etc. etc.

 

[athousandsorrows]

Personality typing can be extremely useful when learning how other people tick, there are common attributes to certain types, (lookup personality typology, otherwise known as the MBTI) which I've found suprisingly accurate, once you figure out which type the people you are talking to are. I know there are better typing methods than the MBTI, though that's only what I'm familiar with. Differences include people who see "the forest" or individual trees, extroverted versus introverted, Perceiving versus judging, rational versus feeling, etc. At the vary least, if you get the chance try typing yourself, it might also help delineate your differences from others, at least what I typed out at (INTP) was suprisingly accurate.

As far as reciprocity from those you've given time and energy to, the general rule I try to be is gracious with your time/energy to a certain point, however if the sort of person doesn't reciprocate or you think they never would reciprocate they are not worth your time. There are many takers who see it as a zero sum game in their heads (allow givers to give to 'em, but never offer anything, etc) and generally once I figure that out usually I tell 'em to fuck off, somewhat difficult to do in your circumstances, but if they are being that selfish then minimize contact and giving, and make sure you never do if they ever want something in return.

I've had somewhat of a similar situation with my sister, extremely selfish with her time, and she has no understanding of reciprocity, and just generally uses people - she doesn't even think she uses people, when it's patently obvious. Nor will convincing her of anything outside of her own ignorant view, as to do such isn't helpful to her feeling good about herself, and it's better to live in la la land than have any grasp of reality for her etc. etc.

I've done that test for myself and I'm (supposedly) ENFP. To be honest, I did it and have done it several times to "confirm" because I don't feel like I really know myself. When I was little I went to school with this girl who was taking French lessons since she was 5 or so, because she knew that when she grew up she wanted to move to France and work at the UN, that was her dream/goal in life, and she always knew it. Now we're in our 30's, and she's living in France and working at the UN. She did it. She always knew what she wanted, worked for it since she was little, and got there. I never knew exactly what I wanted and was always confused, felt like I had too many choices and things that I liked, so as a consequence, I've never really done anything worth anything. I've been frozen because of my inability to make a choice and truly believe it and stick to it. It's always been a sort of "trauma" for me, my lack of true identity.

Your sister sounds very much like my brother. It took me a LONG, LONG time to figure out just how manipulative and selfish he really was. At first, I thought it was just a response to everything we went through as children, his way of coping, just like I coped by having a Florence Nightingale syndrome for a long time. But then I realized that's just how he is. The worse off he was, the more he needed and asked for my help, and I would never hesitate to give it to him, but when things started improving for him and getting worse for me, he cast me aside without so much as a thank you for everything. It's heartbreaking to realize someone you loved so much is nothing like you thought they were.

 

[Revan]

Durkheim has proven that society has great influence on suicide. Sadly, most people don't even know about Durkheim let alone his work. We also don't have much control over the expression of our genes (yet). You can most certainly improve your condition, but you can only stretch an elastic band so far until it breaks. Bottom line: it's never 100% on the individual if said individual feels miserable, suicidal, etc.