Why doesnt talking to ppl help?

[broth0100]

It seems like no matter wat help is offered its not enough, whenever i talk abt my feelings i always just end up feeling more alone than i felt at the start. Its rlly stupid, i think i might b the problem.

Is there anyone here who's actually felt better n more understood after speaking w someone in their life abt how shitty they feel? Wat was it abt the interaction tht made u feel better? Trying to figure out wat im missing

 

[puffinmowmow]

I know that for me, it helps. but bringing myself to do so is incredibly hard. just moved problems one step further.

 

[divinemistress36]

Only helps to talk about your feelings in the moment

 

[demitriusmigsysvotf]

It seems like no matter wat help is offered its not enough, whenever i talk abt my feelings i always just end up feeling more alone than i felt at the start. Its rlly stupid, i think i might b the problem.

Is there anyone here who's actually felt better n more understood after speaking w someone in their life abt how shitty they feel? Wat was it abt the interaction tht made u feel better? Trying to figure out wat im missing

so, imma tell you my story. for me its the same that when i talk abt my feelings i only feel worse. more alone and shi. but it hasnt been always like that. at first i got the support from the person i really loved and i still love, but after some time she started to treat me like shit. so, about it. so, from the start it was all about texting to each other, sharing our problems and supporting. then it got to the stage where we started a fuckin relationship. it helps more when u get hugs or smth. it just feels better irl. i felt more needed than ever. probably it was the best time of my life. so, i guess u just need to be next to a person ur talking to

 

[pebpebpebpeb]

i've found that writing is a lot better than speaking for me personally. i never got much out of talk therapy, but for some it can help get things off their chest and feel more validated in their emotions. you're not the problem, you just need to find something that works for you.

 

[broth0100]

Only helps to talk about your feelings in the moment

This is wat ive experienced too :(

i've found that writing is a lot better than speaking for me personally. i never got much out of talk therapy, but for some it can help get things off their chest and feel more validated in their emotions. you're not the problem, you just need to find something that works for you.

Thank u, i think ur right. I'll see if i can try to figure out other routes

 

[tryingtoquietdown]

There are some problems that just venting can help, but when it comes to depression and suicidal thoughts, talking alone doesn't help me. When I talk about depression, I only do enough talking to let the people in my life know how I'm feeling. The thing that actually helps is their actions following the talk, such as giving physical comfort, offering activities that cheer me up, or giving me more space.

It's not just a "you" problem. It could be that the people you're talking to don't know how to handle that kind of discussion. Even if they're being as supportive as possible, it's hard to make a depressed/suicidal person feel "seen," and making someone feel "seen" varies from person to person. The people you're talking to might also be dismissive, inattentive, or trying to solve your problems instead of just listening. Being a "fixer" often backfires in these conversations, as it just makes the depressed person feel bad for not being able to already fix their situation (in my experience).

If your main goal is to be understood from talking about shitty experiences, I think this forum and other places like it is the best avenue for that. Average people don't understand what you're going through. Conversation on here or group therapy might be helpful in that regard (be careful what you say in therapy, though).

If your main goal is to alleviate your shitty feelings, it's a lot tougher. Not everyone gains comfort solely from being understood or listened to. Most people are not good at talking through mental health and emotions with suicidal people. When I talk with the people I love about my emotions, I don't always feel better. Sometimes I feel much worse.

It's not your fault that talking isn't the best therapy for you. Talking through your emotions is a skill that's hard to hone, especially when all your emotions are painful. It could be that you haven't found someone you can speak with safely, the people around you aren't well-equipped to help you, or talking just doesn't do much for you at all. I'm sorry you're having so much trouble finding relief. I hope you can figure something out to feel a little better.

 

[Malaria]

Sometimes talking about it helps but people can be so insensitive and cruel, whether they intend to be or not.

I sometimes feel like the only way I can express myself without people judging me or hurting me is if I write it down in a private journal.

 

[broth0100]

There are some problems that just venting can help, but when it comes to depression and suicidal thoughts, talking alone doesn't help me. When I talk about depression, I only do enough talking to let the people in my life know how I'm feeling. The thing that actually helps is their actions following the talk, such as giving physical comfort, offering activities that cheer me up, or giving me more space.

It's not just a "you" problem. It could be that the people you're talking to don't know how to handle that kind of discussion. Even if they're being as supportive as possible, it's hard to make a depressed/suicidal person feel "seen," and making someone feel "seen" varies from person to person. The people you're talking to might also be dismissive, inattentive, or trying to solve your problems instead of just listening. Being a "fixer" often backfires in these conversations, as it just makes the depressed person feel bad for not being able to already fix their situation (in my experience).

If your main goal is to be understood from talking about shitty experiences, I think this forum and other places like it is the best avenue for that. Average people don't understand what you're going through. Conversation on here or group therapy might be helpful in that regard (be careful what you say in therapy, though).

If your main goal is to alleviate your shitty feelings, it's a lot tougher. Not everyone gains comfort solely from being understood or listened to. Most people are not good at talking through mental health and emotions with suicidal people. When I talk with the people I love about my emotions, I don't always feel better. Sometimes I feel much worse.

It's not your fault that talking isn't the best therapy for you. Talking through your emotions is a skill that's hard to hone, especially when all your emotions are painful. It could be that you haven't found someone you can speak with safely, the people around you aren't well-equipped to help you, or talking just doesn't do much for you at all. I'm sorry you're having so much trouble finding relief. I hope you can figure something out to feel a little better.

This makes a lot of sense, thank u so much..i was starting to feel like i was just ungrateful or something. Thank u :')

Sometimes talking about it helps but people can be so insensitive and cruel, whether they intend to be or not.

I sometimes feel like the only way I can express myself without people judging me or hurting me is if I write it down in a private journal.

I'm definitely gna start journaling more i think, thank u <3

 

[Hotsackage]

No share with ordinary people, there's no point. Here yes

 

[broth0100]

No share with ordinary people, there's no point. Here yes

Tru!

 

[SexyIncél]

Is there anyone here who's actually felt better n more understood after speaking w someone in their life abt how shitty they feel? Wat was it abt the interaction tht made u feel better? Trying to figure out wat im missing

Understanding & being understood. This can often get people into something of a mystical experience

One thing I also do is ensure I fix my problems. I talk not to merely vent, but to solve. Otherwise, the vast majority of people can't take it

Bad things: Some people wait for you to be done talking, so it's their turn to talk. Also generally bad when people don't ask questions, nor relate it to their experiences. Bad when they turn everything into being about them