Raine Meadows
Member
- Oct 8, 2023
- 15
So I'm useless. The things I care about and could be good at are things that aren't easy to profit in (art.) I'm not really good at art, though. I have no job, and I'm not even sure what to do with my life.
My mom says she wants to retire in 12 years. I'm not even sure why she had me. It's not like she unconditionally loves me, either. My dad has never been a stable presence in my life. The only two people who could possibly care about my death would be my grandma and younger brother, and even then, I'm not sure to what extent he'll mourn me (for all I know, it could only be a passing thought). Everyone should forget about me.
The state of the world is also quite messy. I'm glad I'm not being bombed or seeing my loved ones hurt, but I also can't deny that I feel, in some regards, numb and, in other regards, fervent. My heart aches for those people's pain, but I can't stand to see that imagery on my feed anymore. There's so much injustice in the world, and it makes me demotivated. I've been struggling internally since I was 9 years old, and seeing others hurt too just makes it feel worse. Seeing the powerlessness of people abroad and internally, it just makes me want to die.
Really, the only reasons why I haven't done it are a few if silly reasons.
Recap/TL;DR:
Reasons I haven't CBT'd
As you can tell from this post alone, society should have options to let POS like me make the world just a little bit better by allowing folks like me to receive euthanasia. Hey, it helps the deathcare industry, doesn't it?
My mom says she wants to retire in 12 years. I'm not even sure why she had me. It's not like she unconditionally loves me, either. My dad has never been a stable presence in my life. The only two people who could possibly care about my death would be my grandma and younger brother, and even then, I'm not sure to what extent he'll mourn me (for all I know, it could only be a passing thought). Everyone should forget about me.
The state of the world is also quite messy. I'm glad I'm not being bombed or seeing my loved ones hurt, but I also can't deny that I feel, in some regards, numb and, in other regards, fervent. My heart aches for those people's pain, but I can't stand to see that imagery on my feed anymore. There's so much injustice in the world, and it makes me demotivated. I've been struggling internally since I was 9 years old, and seeing others hurt too just makes it feel worse. Seeing the powerlessness of people abroad and internally, it just makes me want to die.
Really, the only reasons why I haven't done it are a few if silly reasons.
- Fear
- Fear I'll fuck it up, fear it could be better, fear I'll become disabled.
- Family
- My grandma would probably be devastated if I killed myself.
- My younger brother could be devastated too.
- Owl plushies
- Stupid, but I really love them. They literally prevented me from killing myself. I don't know what would happen to them when I die, whether it be natural, a freak accident, or suicide.
Recap/TL;DR:
- I have no job
- I have no friends
- My family only conditionally loves me
- I have not done anything of note
- I am a nobody
- Resources are wasted keeping me alive
- Net negative for the world
- Low self-esteem/advocacy LMAO
- Selfish, annoying, defensive, crybaby, entitled coward with nothing to her name
Reasons I haven't CBT'd
- Fear of fucking up & ending up disabled.
- "What if it gets better…"
- My grandma & maybe younger brother would miss me
- Plushies
- Selfish, crybaby, coward. I'm just a coward
As you can tell from this post alone, society should have options to let POS like me make the world just a little bit better by allowing folks like me to receive euthanasia. Hey, it helps the deathcare industry, doesn't it?
