Why does social failure motivate me to kill myself

[monolog]

I don't get it. Being a loser is not like getting a cancer, but every time when I humiliate myself in some way there are psychological forces that motivate me to kill myself.
It's not the main cause why I'm willing to do it in the future, but it still fascinates me a little bit. When I isolate myself from everyone this feeling goes away.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I get this too. For me, it's because I feel like the path to proper recovery and leading a full, normal life would inevitably involve interacting with other people. When I am around people and make some humiliating mistake (which is often,) it just proves to me how hard it would be to get over social anxiety. How in fact, it would cause me a whole lot more discomfort/ anxiety/ unhappiness in the short-term and it may well be something I never get over anyway! So- why even bother?

I'm the same as you. I'm much better off alone but then, I also know that I'm not really living any sort of life that way. I think it's probably our missed potential we are mourning. Who we could have been if we didn't have all this social anxiety baggage. That's my take anyhow. From a fellow hermit (I imagine.)

 

[lonleycrowdedwest]

I don't get it. Being a loser is not like getting a cancer, but every time when I humiliate myself in some way there are psychological forces that motivate me to kill myself.
It's not the main cause why I'm willing to do it in the future, but it still fascinates me a little bit. When I isolate myself from everyone this feeling goes away.

people have gotten much meaner and less accepting of this kind of thing over the past 5 years or so. Its funny that the more mental health acceptance pushes forward the more people put you into a box because of it. Used to be you could be just a weird guy, now youre autistic, sociopathic, schizoid or what have you, and people around you will latch onto preconceptions and never see you for who you are.