Why does parents often put so much pressure on their kids?

[Silent_cries]

Fortunately I was lucky enough to grow up with parents who never put much pressure on me, but I've heard that's far from always the case. I heard that parents often tend to put alot of pressure on their kids to get good grades, get a well paid job and be whatever "succsessful" is in their eyes. Why is it so? Is it because they feel like a failure themselves, or because they fear that their kids will fail in life? Honestly, what's with the high standards of society in general?

 

[sserafim]

I don't know. My parents put a lot of pressure on me, but I think that's because they're Asian. They put pressure on me to "get good grades, get a well paid job and be whatever "succsessful" is in their eyes". I think this is due to Asian culture. Asian culture is very status driven; it values being successful. It's the goal. I guess it's because parents fear that their children will fail in life. My parents view my failure (to launch into adulthood) as their failure as well. They seem to get self worth from their children's achievements. They see their children as reflections and extensions of themselves.

 

[Silent_cries]

I don't know. My parents put a lot of pressure on me, but I think that's because they're Asian. They put pressure on me to "get good grades, get a well paid job and be whatever "succsessful" is in their eyes". I think this is due to Asian culture. Asian culture is very status driven; it values being successful. It's the goal. I guess it's because parents fear that their children will fail in life. My parents view my failure (to launch into adulthood) as their failure as well. They seem to get self worth from their children's achievements. They see their children as reflections and extensions of themselves.

Yeah, I've heard asian parents are known to be strict. It's litterary become a meme thing. That's kinda stupid though that they're letting their own fears impact their children so negatively. That's not how it should be at all.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's a mixture. There's the not so good, selfish side of it- They want their children to do well and make them look good. They may even hope their children will look after them in old age. I think some of it is simply concern though. They may be concerned if their child doesn't look like they will ever be able to support themselves- because, they won't be there for them forever. Plus, I suppose if they got fulfilment out of pursuing a career, they may hope their child will too. So, it may be that they genuinely want the best for their child and they see being independent and successful as a part of that.

I agree though- it can easily go too far. I have friends who's parents pushed them into studying things they didn't want to- or were against what they did study. It's made all the harder in life if you know you're going against your families wishes.

 

[Silent_cries]

I think it's a mixture. There's the not so good, selfish side of it- They want their children to do well and make them look good. They may even hope their children will look after them in old age. I think some of it is simply concern though. They may be concerned if their child doesn't look like they will ever be able to support themselves- because, they won't be there for them forever. Plus, I suppose if they got fulfilment out of pursuing a career, they may hope their child will too. So, it may be that they genuinely want the best for their child and they see being independent and successful as a part of that.

I agree though- it can easily go too far. I have friends who's parents pushed them into studying things they didn't want to- or were against what they did study. It's made all the harder in life if you know you're going against your families wishes.

Yeah, I agree with this tbh, this makes all the sense. I just wish people weren't so darn blind sometimes :/

 

[theboy]

may be due to the upbringing of the parents.

 

[sserafim]

may be due to the upbringing of the parents.

Wdym?

 

[theboy]

Wdym?

parents raise their children just as they themselves were raised

 

[deathslament]

I wouldn't know