Why does it give so much comfort to admit to yourself you're going to commit suicide?

[shadow_moses]

When I was 15 I was in a horrible place. My mother abandoned me. My grades in school were dropping(In hindsight it wasn't really a big deal since it was just high school). I was getting bullied like always and it was around the time I started realizing what depression is. I heard the song by Notorious BIG called suicidal thoughts. Up until then I never really contemplated something like killing myself. It's like it all clicked and I realized being alive isn't inherently better than being dead. That was when I decided I was going to kill myself with my fathers gun. Once I realized I was going to do it a wave of relief came over me. When I was walking to school in the morning, I felt more happy. I didnt have a responsibility to this life anymore. I didnt kill myself back then, but I truly think its time now. I have no options in life. And realizing that it's time, I feel better. No more struggle. No more pain. Let it all wash away.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so relieved at the thought of leaving this world, to me death is a relief as it erases all we knew and all is forgotten about in death, one is finally free from the burden that is having the ability to exist. For me the thought of eternal non-existence is the only comfort, only an eternal dreamless sleep is desirable for me as there is no rest and relief from suffering in existing as one is trapped with themselves as long as they exist here.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think I'm just so tired of trying and worrying and responsibility. I can't wait for the time where I won't have to care about anything. I suppose the irony is- we won't be alive to feel that relief. But then- just thinking about having no more life stuff to bother us is such a lovely tranquil thought.

I guess the thing about suicide is- we know when it's coming- so, theoretically, we could if we wanted begin to relax beforehand. Life would be so much more enjoyable if we didn't have to worry about the future. So many people literally kill themselves working and drop dead before getting the chance to enjoy life. Knowing we don't need to do 'sensible' things like pay into a pension- we could theoretically use that money to enjoy things now.

Plus- it's the idea of saving ourselves from more suffering and pain. Which feels likely as we age. Since accepting suicide as a feasible solution- I've always felt like it was there as my fall back. If things really get too much- it's there as an escape.

 

[tera_forest]

I'm happiest when I know how i'm going to die. When there's a clear end you know you won't have to suffer much longer

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Choice. Control. Freedom.
Something that got me through a number of years was simply asking myself, "Is this the worst day of my life?" For a long time the answer was no so I kept going. But in the back of my mind I knew that I could choose to leave if I wanted to and that thought in itself made so many things that would otherwise ail me go away. There were so many things I simply did not have the need to worry about anymore. There's something peaceful in knowing that your life belongs to you, even without choosing to end it.

 

[anhed0nia]

When I saw this post I found myself struggling to remember some literary quotation having to do with the idea that suicidal ideation can actually really help a person maintain their calmness and sanity during unreasonably challenging times. The conclusion seemed to be that even for someone who is not incurably depressed, a thought like "Well, I could always just kill myself" can be a perfectly useful coping mechanism. Then I Googled it and realized...it was Nietzsche: "The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night." Posting about Nietzsche here feels a little TOO on the nose, and I do think I first heard this quote in an essay by someone else, but still, maybe it's worth repeating.

One of the things that drives me crazy is the feeling that persisting in life is irrational. I'm not enjoying myself, I'm not doing anyone any good, I don't have achievable goals, my body and brain are a mess--so when I see myself trying as hard as I can to get a job, get my teeth cleaned, see my fucking doctors, get some exercise...in short, when I'm struggling to take care of all these responsibilities in order to stay live--something I don't even like or want--then I am overwhelmed by the maddening sense that I am being totally irrational, that I'm stuck in an irrational scenario. The irrationality itself makes me feel enraged and insane. But when I think about suicide, I feel calmer and more comfortable, because it would be a much more rational reaction to my situation.

On the total other hand, I recently heard someone say something provocative to another person who was feeling suicidal: Essentially she said that suicide doesn't seem very urgent, because you're going to die sooner or later no matter what you do, so you can pretty much take your time. Of course I think that for some people (say, individuals living with extreme mental or physical illness), choosing to die sooner CAN be an urgent matter, but still, something about her statement tickled me. I liked that she didn't try to tell the person his feelings were wrong, all she said was the simple truth, that most of the time, you can be patient with death.

 

[SpiderLink]

When I was 15 I was in a horrible place. My mother abandoned me. My grades in school were dropping(In hindsight it wasn't really a big deal since it was just high school). I was getting bullied like always and it was around the time I started realizing what depression is. I heard the song by Notorious BIG called suicidal thoughts. Up until then I never really contemplated something like killing myself. It's like it all clicked and I realized being alive isn't inherently better than being dead. That was when I decided I was going to kill myself with my fathers gun. Once I realized I was going to do it a wave of relief came over me. When I was walking to school in the morning, I felt more happy. I didnt have a responsibility to this life anymore. I didnt kill myself back then, but I truly think its time now. I have no options in life. And realizing that it's time, I feel better. No more struggle. No more pain. Let it all wash away.

Just by replying to the title, it's because it's a relief, u feel calm, in control. If u look at suicide warning signs in people, it's one of them if they all of a sudden seem too calm.

 

[Life interrupted]

When I saw this post I found myself struggling to remember some literary quotation having to do with the idea that suicidal ideation can actually really help a person maintain their calmness and sanity during unreasonably challenging times. The conclusion seemed to be that even for someone who is not incurably depressed, a thought like "Well, I could always just kill myself" can be a perfectly useful coping mechanism. Then I Googled it and realized...it was Nietzsche: "The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night." Posting about Nietzsche here feels a little TOO on the nose, and I do think I first heard this quote in an essay by someone else, but still, maybe it's worth repeating.

I thought of Cioran's quote too : " I live only because it is in my power to die when I choose to: without the idea of suicide, I'd have killed myself right away." It seems paradoxical though.