Why does a part of me still has hope?

[death_bed221]

For me, there is zero chance for a better future. Why does a part of me want to stay here? I have been in so much pain in my life. Its just gonna get worse. I am unable to find a job. I have zero friends, No one talk to me. Even my neighbors don't say hello. I am 30 and I know its over. How do I kill that little part of me that still wants to fight?

 

[Syrka]

That little part of you is called survival instinct. Find out how to overcome it. It's up to you.

 

[L'absent]

We are programmed to be deceived. Think about the world around us... the blue sky, the green grass, the flowers with a thousand shades. Well... colors don't exist, it's our brain that deceives us by reconstructing a false image. Reality is colorless and so on... We have a human propensity towards illusion. We deceive you. Hope is an illusion, it is a deception. Don't believe the monster, hope is merciless.

 

[ma0]

I've opted for the route of destroying myself mentally until that little part of me is nonexistent.

 

[GoSan1]

I like to think that this hope is embedded into your soul, in the core, and the final piece of hope one can have. For you to be ready to die, the soul too has to accept that fate, and until not done, one will find it tremendously hard to end one's life...

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

I've opted for the route of destroying myself mentally until that little part of me is nonexistent.

Tried this too, and still trying it, but SI keeps me living

 

[pariah80]

I think that's all people who are considering ctb. I don't know if it's survival instinct or just plain old conditioning. The biggest obstacle of catching the bus is overcoming centuries of conditioning by biological evolution. Yet, if you harness your will, it can be overcome. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.