Why do you want to die?

[Z-bar]

I want to die because of the domino effect since I was a young teen. I want to die because no matter how many chances I am given, I continuously fuck up. I continuously fuck up because I am broken and I need deep healing. I keep trying but I keep failing because I simply am not capable of anything in this state. I can't take the time to heal, because I lack the feeling of security and stability that I'd like to make me feel like I can let go. I need a safe space to heal, to get the help I need, to be able to focus on me without trying to deal with other problems as well. I need this probably for a good few years to make a difference. I could get better with the exact right help. I could be ok, I think. But nobody is going to pick me up and get me there. And I'm just not strong enough; after years of trying and failing, I can see that. So it's never going to happen. I am defeated. Sadly, I will be in pain, I will struggle, for the rest of my life. There is no way it will change unless the changes that need to happen in my life occur. But they are not going to on their own. Nobody else will do it for me. And I can't, I'm incapable. This will carry on until I'm dead. There is no point in prolonging the inevitable.

You literally stole the words outta my mouth. My jaw hit the floor that's how strong your words resonated with me.

 

[thedaywillcome]

I am a living failure. My brain is very flawed.

 

[Snatsbats]

Because ive been sick from 16 till 23 now and still am. My youth has been taken from me by illness. Something completely out of my control. I still tried everything to heal myself, but it just didnt help. I feel so behind in life. I dont want to be a loser, i want to be very successfull, but because of my illness i cant fullfill my dreams. After 7 years of fighting i deserve peace.

 

[topolinia]

Interessato a ciò che gli altri stanno passando. Per me è un forte dolore cronico che i medici non vogliono curare combinato con il divorzio e un'insoddisfazione generale per lo stato attuale del paese/mondo e la mancanza di gentilezza/compassione nella società.

Sono stato insultato, bullizzato e umiliato dalla mia famiglia da quando sono nato, ho 36 anni e per la società sono vecchio per lavorare, il mio peso non mi fa stare bene con me stesso e mia figlia mi prende in giro perché sono grassa.

 

[September5th]

My life is simply miserable. My girlfriend left me and keeping in touch with her only hurts (for a multitude of reasons, which I may explain in a later post), I hate college and what I'm studying in general, my dreams are pretty much unreachable at this point (and meaningless, if I'm being true), I hate talking to others and doing anything really... A bunch of reasons. The worst part is that I was fine, you know? Now I'm in a shit hole with no way to escape. Existing is just horrible.

 

[Dipiperon]

Its time to go, i hate the humans.

 

[Brianiskillingme]

Depression, anxiety disorder and Borderline personality. Even when I am in a great place, my brain is always thinking about dying. My brother had this same issue (suicide idealization) and finally lost the struggle in 1995. Despite many meds, I still pretty much just look happy on the outside, while dying inside. Just the right trigger will make me go over the edge, I know it.

 

[NeverEndingPain]

I want to die because I am no longer able to cope with even the smallest things anymore. Everything overwhelms me.

 

[Capsaicin78]

There are many reasons in my case. But one of the biggest reasons for sure is the fact that I'll never be happy. I know it deep down in my heart. It's sad to think about actually but after death even that fact won't matter.

 

[btrtrb]

My only reason is physical "illness". I stupidly got nerve damage and can't live with it. Sucks how easy it was to ruin my great life.

 

[NoLightRemains]

Essentially a whole lifetime of not feeling like I was meant for this world. I have always had great social difficulties and was bullied for being different. I didn't have words for it at the time, but I've been diagnosed with autism. Starting at puberty/early teens, I developed severe gender dysphoria from going through male puberty. I attempted to come out to my friends and family, but received almost nothing but abuse and ostracization in return. My suicidal ideation was strong then, but I decided I wanted to at least try gender transitioning and moving out on my own.

I actually had some good years, but overall it's been a rough life but I'm 29 now and just tired of all the fighting. I lost a partner to suicide in 2020 and haven't been the same person since. I think the cumulative stress of everything caused my chronic migraines to start and I've been suffering with physical pain on top of everything. The world is overwhelming and cruel and now the smallest things trigger me and I start crying over nothing. The smallest inconveniences kick my suicidal ideation into full force. I'm not quite ready to die just yet, just sorta in limbo between recovery and the grave.

 

[Niirvana]

I will never be that person that I could have been. It's late and all is lost. I just have to gather guts.

 

[lofticries]

Because I'm a failure and have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I can't connect with anyone at all. Also I fear a disastrous future ahead and old age.

 

[meetapple]

Symptoms of schizophrenia that make me feel like an antisocial jerk.

 

[mojabaka]

Disabled since I took the cocid vaccine 11 months ago. 99,9% sure it's going to be life long. I just don't care to live like that for the rest of my life, especially since it could've been easily avaidable by doing more research and not trusting Big Pharma.

 

[wanttodie]

Depression, anxiety hate my life sick of living don't want to be alive anymore want to end my life

 

[Zzzzz]

I'm unhappy no matter what I do. I'm tired of it. There is no reason for me to keep struggling. I would rather feel nothing at all then live in misery.

 

[Al Cappella]

I don't. That said, with a damaged brain and precarious life situation, I absolutely will if there's no other way. I've always felt that way, as long as I remember anyway. At the moment there's a bit of a reprieve, so we'll see…

 

[xo777]

I just want to feel better lol
After years of abuse and being groomed I think I just need to get some rest rather than doing this for 60 more years. It's just about time that I feel better

 

[Final-push123]

For me, it's realizing that the future is loss.

Learning about climate change and the coming...or rather current collapse of the biosphere, wide spread collapse food, water, sand and pretty much any resources.
Humanity have about 20-40 years left on this planet.

How can I cope if there is no future?

 

[The Abyss]

Arm pain that won't budge (trying to get doctors to do shit post covid-19 mania is tough), this in turn prevents myself doing stuff I like & limits everyday tasks. Lack of a support network, dislike of being around ppl as I've been fucked around a lot (was bullied as a kid), didn't find out until a few years ago that I have aspergers so now I know why I struggled socially & it's hard to find real ppl that ain't npc's full of shit, no wife or kids to keep going for or purpose really; feel like I'm just spending time trying to be entertained & when physical pain limits your ability to do even that then what's left? 30+ virgin & quite frankly this world ain't worth it thanks to the hidden slavery system that it runs on.

To thrive in this world you've either gotta be a savage or lucky to be blessed with the right circumstances otherwise you're simply living in a bubble denying reality outside your lane or just existing with varying degrees of joy in between the suffering. Nothing means anything, there is no compassion, so many think life is the pursuit of money or clout; so many rules & ppl telling you what you can & cannot do dictated by a piece of paper or a social connection. We watch movies, play games or read novels to live vicariously through the imagination of another as we are not free to do it ourselves; we're caged birds. The flesh is alive but the spirit is dead, welcome to humanity where many of the roads you take in life were determined for you before you even set out on the journey.

 

[Murasa]

So much stress is not worth it, I want to rest and put an end to my existence that caused so much pain to whom I love.

 

[Ligottian]

A Whitman's candy box style sample of pretty much everything mentioned in the previous posts.

 

[Hirokami]

I'm constantly suffering psychologically and convinced there is no hope for me. Therapy and medication can only do so much. It seems death is the only way to get rid of the traumatic thoughts for good.

 

[Starryeyes]

Feel like an absolute waste of a human being. Can't deal with people, emotions, money & my short term memory is shocking . The memory is making me distressed I can't cope any more people upset with me thinking I'm doing it on purpose I hate this life