Discussion Why do you want to CTB?

[Salad1nnn]

Hey,

thats my second post here on this forum. I just want to know why you want to CTB.

I want to ctb since I'm a little boy but I didn't have the strength for it. Now, many years later with much more pain in my soul, I want to end it this year.

My mother tried to suicide several times last year and other family members which are very important for me tried also to suicide.

I tried to fight against the will to die but it's getting harder to stay alive. I'm just figuring out which is the best method for me. I think the CO Method will be the best.


What is your reason to CTB and which Methode do you prefer?

Sorry for my English it isn't the best since I left school.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Hey,

thats my second post here on this forum. I just want to know why you want to CTB.

I want to ctb since I'm a little boy but I didn't have the strength for it. Now, many years later with much more pain in my soul, I want to end it this year.

My mother tried to suicide several times last year and other family members which are very important for me tried also to suicide.

I tried to fight against the will to die but it's getting harder to stay alive. I'm just figuring out which is the best method for me. I think the CO Method will be the best.


What is your reason to CTB and which Methode do you prefer?

Sorry for my English it isn't the best since I left school.

Since your mother also wanna die do you think it would possible for you two to go together I would imagine that being the best setting to be in to end it with a person you love and she should also be able to understand since she also want to die.

 

[Salad1nnn]

I don't want to talk about this with my mother. Sure she's able to unterstand me, but I want to die alone or with someone else. It's weird for me to talk about this topic with my mother.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I don't want to talk about this with my mother. Sure she's able to unterstand me, but I want to die alone or with someone else. It's weird for me to talk about this topic with my mother.

Fair enough, to me it just sounds like a golden opportunity especially with the method you are using Carbon Monoxide just to sleep quitely in together.

 

[asdasan]

Many mistakes that I cannot take back in this lifetime.

 

[Salad1nnn]

Fair enough, to me it just sounds like a golden opportunity especially with the method you are using Carbon Monoxide just to sleep quitely in together.

I don't want to suicide with her. I can't do it.

Many mistakes that I cannot take back in this lifetime.

So like mine also. What for mistakes? Which method do you prefer?

 

[spanishguy22]

severe depression. its genetic my uncle ctb and grandma had same crippling depression she lived a miserable life

 

[Salad1nnn]

severe depression. its genetic my uncle ctb and grandma had same crippling depression she lived a miserable life

Bad genetic sucks.

 

[Meh]

From my current position using foresight I can see that life isnt gonna get better nor become worth it

 

[JadedGray]

Having no future prospects and having to live with the pain of the past and present.

 

[Marz]

1. mental illness
2. lack of social or job related skills
3. existential nihilism
4. being an immigrant with all that mixed in makes no fucking sense whatsoever
5. if i keep fucking it up i will have no future so i rather die

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Trauma, severe physical, mental abuse and rape from an ex. Severe anxiety and ptsd. Horrible social skills and loneliness. Chronic pain, fibromyalgia and other illnesses that will only get worse and I'm only in my 20s. Brain messed up from psychiatric meds when I was once intelligent. Also I made a mistake that further ruined my life. Knowing I was once and happy, healthy person who had a lot going for them and I can never get that back.

 

[coileanbeag]

not living up to my standards but then being too mental/lazy to do anything to change my standards or my situation. Also I cannot change my physical or mental genetics so.
I know it's hard for you to talk with your mother about it but atleast you understand and hopefully respect each other's decision to ctb

 

[Apostle]

No social life or interest in having one, very low intelligence and maturity for an adult, no interests or life goals, black sheep and burden to my family, no employable skills or motivation to work, no passion for anything, done a lot of fucked up things I can't atone for, and lost the few things that kept me wanting to live.

 

[wanttodie]

severe depression. cant sleep sick of live and living hate my life Severe anxiety i rather die then live

 

[Weems]

What is your reason to CTB and which Methode do you prefer?

Botched development + unbearable regret. Promising kid who totally failed to turn out. Never studied anything seriously despite high IQ. Quit sport I loved (was D1). Gave up playing music. Until a recent psychotic episode, I believed that somehow I was on my way to a glorious rebirth. Instead I learned just how much I can delude myself.

Exit bag if I could get some undiluted gas. More realistically charcoal, hanging, or exsanguination. I know the latter rarely works but I wanna go for the carotid.

 

[Seaghost]

• Depression
• ADHD
• other mental things
• some kind of Arthritis
• and as final stage my girlfriend ist gone recently because the things above went worse

 

[Roadkill]

I just hate living...being alive is a nightmare that I can't wake up from

 

[LadyAbandon]

Being unable to bear living inside my own head. Severe self-hatred, self-disgust, and self-criticism. Feeling overwhelmed by every little thing, all the time. No self-control and no mastery over my emotions. Drug addiction. Lots of self-destructive, self-sabotaging decisions that will inevitably catch up to me. The fact that even when I feel "better", right (whatever that means) for a while, and want to die a bit less acutely, I'll just end up right back here in the end. A deep certainly that suicide is predestined for me and I am only prolonging the inevitable by fighting.

 

[sunny.sativa]

Why do I need to be alive? Like, I don't make a difference. "Everyone's important, everyone has a purpose." That's bullshit. Anything I'm gonna do for this earth can be done by someone else. I don't want to do anything.

"There's so much to live for" and like "goals" and stuff but I don't want to? I don't care to, it doesn't interest me and I don't want to feel anything anymore. I don't talk to anyone, I don't want friends, I don't want a partner, be that short-term or lifelong.
There's not a thing on this earth that I could have.. that I really want.

We all die. Like there's NO point to any of this shit.

 

[toolateforme]

Life sucks i suck people suck the world sucks so fuck it lol