Discussion Why do you think we get more impulsive and reckless when we get more near our ctb date?

[nihilisticmystics]

basically what the title says. but why do you think we get more reckless, impulsive, and careless when our ctb date is coming up?

even those that don't have a set date, or haven't even fully made up their mind yet of wanting to ctb.

most of us all get more carefree, driving recklessly, abusing more/starting to abuse substances, spending all savings, etc. even in my past ctb attempts that weren't even planned, the days leading up to those attempts, i was acting out and making many bad choices i would never normally do.

what do you think?

 

[bgh3192]

I think we get more reckless etc b/c we know we are planning to escape from any consequences of our actions. Death is freeing.
Also, I think it's a way to "fuck up" our life so that we will more inclined to take the final step.. For some, it may be a way to call attention to our distress. Hoping someone notices our impulsive reckless actions and will therefore know about our desire to CTB and maybe save us from it.

 

[$yck]

"I don't care I'll be dead in [x amount of time]" is something I've been saying a lot lately. It's the idea that none of the shit that's bothering me matters because I won't have to deal with it in a couple weeks, or something like that.

 

[AkaRed]

A lot of it just comes from the mentality that you'll eventually be free of any consequences regardless, so why care in the moments leading up to it?
If you're going to die anyway, there isn't much reason in being as cautious or respectful to yourself as you might have been previously.

 

[nuggetfinder]

I'm 99% sure it's because we know that nothing we do will matter in the long run anyways. I call it the "fuck it we ball!" portion of ctb.

 

[Ladyybugged]

i guess cuz we come to the realization that we've got nothing to lose anymore, that nothing really matters so we stop giving a fuck.

 

[traingirl]

basically what the title says. but why do you think we get more reckless, impulsive, and careless when our ctb date is coming up?

even those that don't have a set date, or haven't even fully made up their mind yet of wanting to ctb.

most of us all get more carefree, driving recklessly, abusing more/starting to abuse substances, spending all savings, etc. even in my past ctb attempts that weren't even planned, the days leading up to those attempts, i was acting out and making many bad choices i would never normally do.

what do you think?

It's because nothing truly matters when you know you are going to die I've recklessly spent money and I drive carelessly because it doesn't matter soon enough

 

[woodlandcreature]

Nothing matters and we know it, and there won't be consequences once we're dead.

 

[madwoman]

Yeah I've been kind of like this - I agree with needing my life worse to help me ctb but I'm not bold enough to do big reckless things. Only like not caring what I spend my money on (not splurging too much but not caring as much about buying the food or like book I want etc), I have been eating worse which isn't good for my weight and confidence, haven't been following up with medical care, currently pushing out my therapy and might quit… but I am also have to keep my peace as I am still alive that's why I'm not going overboard and also scared to say get in an accident that makes things worse for me getting mg affairs in order and to ctb, and also if my attempt fails or god forbid a miracle happens to make my situation better where I don't want to ctb anymore, I've been trying to you know not lose my job for instance and not give away everything I own etc.

But yeah it's like we start not giving AF and feel we are going to die anyway so who cares anymore

 

[58Alice85]

When you get close to death you suddenly start noticing a certain kind of reality which was always there, but you are now painfully strongly aware of it