Discussion Why do you think hated people are hated?

[rozeske]

I could never really grasp the concept of being a hated person. Are there people that are destined to be hated from the start, with just whatever they do, good things or bad, they just can't escape receiving hatred all around? Or are they just in denial of being bad and just spend their lifes blaming others? I usually don't notice hated people admitting that they are bad. They only say "I'm a good person I don't deserve this".

Just like there is a likable person that others can't help themselves but automatically love them regardless of their actions, are there others that are doomed to be hated and can't change that fact no matter what they do?

If my question made sense can you all enlighten me please?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't believe in destiny. Being a hated person can stem from many different reasons other than doing something that is considered to be bad, but these reasons tend to stem from circumstance rather than from some sort of destiny. Some people are hated for just not following society's expectations, even when they haven't harmed anyone or done anything to warrant the hate.

Along with that, people in general noticing and admitting when they are in the wrong, whether hated on or not, is not very common. People rationalize their actions and nobody wants to be the bad guy. That's why I'm not a huge fan of the whole "good person, bad person" thing since it's very black and white and I feel like this type of thinking is what ends up contributing to people having trouble with recognizing when they've done bad things and changing for the better.

 

[KillingPain267]

Yes, I'm a hated person. I get hateful looks, everything I do is not sufficient enough and if I try to just cope or dissociate I get condemned and shamed. I don't think of myself as a good person, just average. But I have always seen others as more superior to me and that I could never reach any standards.

 

[okuhvtuji]

I could never really grasp the concept of being a hated person. Are there people that are destined to be hated from the start, with just whatever they do, good things or bad, they just can't escape receiving hatred all around? Or are they just in denial of being bad and just spend their lifes blaming others? I usually don't notice hated people admitting that they are bad. They only say "I'm a good person I don't deserve this".

Just like there is a likable person that others can't help themselves but automatically love them regardless of their actions, are there others that are doomed to be hated and can't change that fact no matter what they do?

If my question made sense can you all enlighten me please?

lots of factors. Most people are awful so they can't tolerate good ppl. I read about this case from ten years ago. A teen got drunk and invited 2 senior football players to party at her place. They got her unconscious and r*ped her. She was found outside her house half naked, so a relative called the police. The detective on the case found even videos proving the violence, but the victim's family decided not to press charges. One of the football player's dad was rich and important so all the ppl in the town sided with him. The victim's father got even fired from his job, so they decided to move. most ppl are evil and egoist.

but it also depends on the culture. In Japan most ppl think of themselves as bad so they struggle to be good/honorable.
In America everyone thinks of themselves as good and this allows ppl to close an eye on their wrong doings. Some ppl feel superior/entitled also due to their parents' miseducation.

But once their façade crumble they will be alone. Keep doing your best, you'll eventually find 2-3 ppl like you.

 

[yellowjester]

I don't think that's athing; unless you're a total jerk, in which case you're probably too self-centered to even take note of how you're being perceived.

I occasionaly think that people hate me, but I always remind myself that I'm just projecting my own self-hatred into others, and that I'm way too insignificant to live rent-free in anyone's head.

 

[bernara]

Hatred is merely a fear. Everybody is just afraid of reality and wants to find their way home.

 

[rozeske]

Hatred is merely a fear. Everybody is just afraid of reality and wants to find their way home.

Wdym?

 

[bernara]

Wdym?

When we're born, we have no a slightest idea where we are and who. We see things and hear noises, but it's all chaotic. As we grow, we start to recognize some patterns, then more and more. This evolution of consciousness fascinates us, making us believe that truth lies in the boring books our parents force us read. As you get older, you find yourself unable to keep searching, realizing that everything you've learned doesn't answer the fundamental question: Who am I? Of course you are scared because you are gradually descending towards something dark and unknown. The fear of this question, the fear of yourself, has always been there. You're just now accepting its validity and importance. Why am I here, in this exact moment, in this body? This question was always the most important, among countless others you've tried to answer. For everything else, you at least had the illusion of an answer. But now, you can't even understand what you're trying to find out. This fear affects us all and is the root of all suffering, pain, and hatred. The solution is to accept its absolute significance. Don't be afraid to ask yourself this question, no matter what others say and what you see around. Death and life, suffering and joy, love and hatred all come hand in hand. You are not a bad or a good person if you feel any of this, this only means that you are definitely someone and trying to find out who, makes you alive.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'll always be a hated person because I'm always gonna be there to hate myself.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

Yes, that's a thing. Those of us with autism know it all too well. Even though we aren't "bad" or "doing bad things," we don't fit in or understand social conventions, so we come off as awkward and weird to everyone. Our behavior is often perceived as rude, difficult, or immature. So in many cases, we're automatically disliked just for being ourselves. It's a special kind of hell to be trapped in.

 

[Dark Moon]

Yes, that's a thing. Those of us with autism know it all too well. Even though we aren't "bad" or "doing bad things," we don't fit in or understand social conventions, so we come off as awkward and weird to everyone. Our behavior is often perceived as rude, difficult, or immature. So in many cases, we're automatically disliked just for being ourselves. It's a special kind of hell to be trapped in.

Yep, I agree with this, that's how it has been for me with Asperger/Autism.

 

[pyx]

i offer nothing in terms of utility so i am naturally hated by others. my self-hatred makes me question all relationships that i have

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Are there people that are destined to be hated from the start, with just whatever they do, good things or bad, they just can't escape receiving hatred all around?

Celebs. Anyone who has their life put under a microscope. I'd hate being famous.

i offer nothing in terms of utility so i am naturally hated by others. my self-hatred makes me question all relationships that i have

People don't hate wallflowers. Being hated involves something that you do or someone that you are (sometimes not even for something that's your fault, an example would be being born out of an affair).

 

[rozeske]

Celebs. Anyone who has their life put under a microscope. I'd hate being famous.

I'm not sure every celeb is hated and most of them aren't born and recognized as celebs. But my question was for just ordinary people. Can you be born with the sole purpose of being hated? As in destined for it.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I'm not sure every celeb is hated and most of them aren't born and recognized as celebs. But my question was for just ordinary people. Can you be born with the sole purpose of being hated? As in destined for it.

Ooh I see. So you mean that the ratio of being loved vs hated is much more hated? I think celebs are hated in number more just bc of the sheer amount of people that know them, but it's also balanced with a lot of love.

Mmm, I don't think anyone's destined to be hated by everyone, but I see it being really common within the scope of families. Parents hating their children because they're unplanned, or born out of an affair, or children that are born to cure an existing child's illness.

I do think that everyone can find a friend somewhere--I'm universally described as "interesting" (aka weird) by others and yet somehow I still met a person just like me --it's just a matter of finding it.

If you think of the personality disorder that is known for severe relationship dysfunction (BPD), it has one of the best prognosis (high % of people successfully recover from disorder) out of all psychiatric disorders. So it's one of the 'easier' problems to overcome just based on pure numbers. Of course, I don't say that to discount anyone's struggles. Relationship dysfunction is hell. I brought up BPD as the example because I think of that when I think of people that tend to be hated. Even within the mental health community they seem to be outcasted.

 

[rozeske]

Sorry, bumping this to get more perspectives...

 

[derpyderpins]

Sorry, bumping this to get more perspectives...

It's a deep question. Reading your prompt I think it can go in a number of ways.

You want another perspective, so I suggest also looking from the side of the hate-or rather than just the hate-ee. After all, hate is a big feeling, which takes a lot of emotional energy. Are there some people who are full of hate, and crossing paths with them is almost a sure bet you'll be hated?

Most of the things you could do to upset someone are not worthy of "hate." Perhaps those who are often hated, possibly due to bad self image, put themselves in the path of hateful people.

 

[rozeske]

It's a deep question. Reading your prompt I think it can go in a number of ways.

You want another perspective, so I suggest also looking from the side of the hate-or rather than just the hate-ee. After all, hate is a big feeling, which takes a lot of emotional energy. Are there some people who are full of hate, and crossing paths with them is almost a sure bet you'll be hated?

Most of the things you could do to upset someone are not worthy of "hate." Perhaps those who are often hated, possibly due to bad self image, put themselves in the path of hateful people.

Hmm..interesting. but I was more interested in the being basically hated throughout your life with practically most people you meet in all stages of your life, why I focused on the hate-ee but the hate-or can also put some perspective in. Could it be something you do that prompts a similar reaction from everyone or is it just "meant to be" or just how you are? I was never able to understand it or really answer it.

 

[ForeverAlone_autist]

Yes, I'm a hated person. I get hateful looks, everything I do is not sufficient enough and if I try to just cope or dissociate I get condemned and shamed. I don't think of myself as a good person, just average. But I have always seen others as more superior to me and that I could never reach any standards.

Same here. Im hated for literally having a non conformity mindset and disagreeing with society in the way I think. Also im really ugly irl and look like shit my looks have played a huge part of why i hate my life

 

[rozeske]

Same here. Im hated for literally having a non conformity mindset and disagreeing with society in the way I think. Also im really ugly irl and look like shit my looks have played a huge part of why i hate my life

I agree with this. The world is much kinder to good looking people. No matter how much people don't admit to it, It definitely does make life harder.

 

[4everHeartBroken]

When we're born, we have no a slightest idea where we are and who. We see things and hear noises, but it's all chaotic. As we grow, we start to recognize some patterns, then more and more. This evolution of consciousness fascinates us, making us believe that truth lies in the boring books our parents force us read. As you get older, you find yourself unable to keep searching, realizing that everything you've learned doesn't answer the fundamental question: Who am I? Of course you are scared because you are gradually descending towards something dark and unknown. The fear of this question, the fear of yourself, has always been there. You're just now accepting its validity and importance. Why am I here, in this exact moment, in this body? This question was always the most important, among countless others you've tried to answer. For everything else, you at least had the illusion of an answer. But now, you can't even understand what you're trying to find out. This fear affects us all and is the root of all suffering, pain, and hatred. The solution is to accept its absolute significance. Don't be afraid to ask yourself this question, no matter what others say and what you see around. Death and life, suffering and joy, love and hatred all come hand in hand. You are not a bad or a good person if you feel any of this, this only means that you are definitely someone and trying to find out who, makes you alive.

Love this!

 

[Forever Sleep]

In a weird way, hating others is one way we reinforce bonds with other people. As in- we're not like those other people- they don't belong in our group. I once read an interesting article saying that the only way the author could envisage the human race becoming united would be if there were an external threat to the whole human race to fear, hate and fight together- like UFO's or AI perhaps.

Sadly, we're also encouraged to hate others a lot of the time I feel. Other sexualities, religions, races. Fear and hate are an effective way of keeping us in order because they make us submissive and they make us accept basically unacceptable things like war. It's ok to go in and kill those people because they threatened us first.

Hate is a pretty strong word though. I'd kind of hope I'd reserve hate for people who had actually wronged me. Even then and, there's one in particular for me. I'm not sure I entirely hate them. It's more that I hate that they were ever part of my life. I wish for both our sakes- I'm sure they do actually hate me- that we'd never come into contact.

Some people themselves I think are more full of hate than others though. Probably to do with their own history/ character I imagine. But- I feel like that's always going to be there and they just dump it on various people throughout life.

As to why some people get more hate. Could be because they're different and people use them as a scapegoat to feel 'normal' and part of the in crowd themselves. Could be because they themselves behave in a way that demeans other people. If people make us feel inferior- we can feel hate towards them I think. It could be that they've done terrible things too!

I think there's a difference though- between not being popular and being hated. Some of us are maybe socially akward or come across weird, so we don't really attract people or, seem to invite ridicule. As to whether those people actually hate us- seems somewhat unlikely- I doubt they care enough about us to hate us.

When it is as strong as hate though, I suppose it could be something someone is or does that really offends us. Sometimes I wonder if we hate certain things about ourselves and we hate that thing in others too.

 

[sserafim]

Same here. Im hated for literally having a non conformity mindset and disagreeing with society in the way I think.

I'm a Neet, so normies hate me. I think it's out of jealousy and envy. Normies secretly envy Neets. Normies complain about their work and jobs all the time, yet are obligated to them. Neets like me have freedom from work and therefore, autonomy over our lives and the freedom to do as we please. We're not chained to a job like normies are. We have all the free time in the world to pursue our hobbies and interests. I'm proudly nonconformist, and normies hate me for not conforming to the norm. They hate anyone who deviates from the norm because they believe that being different is bad. They believe this because they've been oversocialized by society

 

[Kavka]

I'm a Neet, so normies hate me. I think it's out of jealousy and envy. Normies secretly envy Neets. Normies complain about their work and jobs all the time, yet are obligated to them. Neets like me have freedom from work and therefore, autonomy over our lives and the freedom to do as we please. We're not chained to a job like normies are

NEETs may not be chained to a job, but they are chained to the support of the "normies", either directly or indirectly through welfare.

 

[sserafim]

NEETs may not be chained to a job, but they are chained to the support of the "normies", either directly or indirectly through welfare.

Yeah, so? Normies hate Neets for an unjustified reason. Normies only hate Neets because they're secretly jealous of them. Normies envy Neets. Also, in this world, there are winners and losers, and the strong and the weak. Neets are the winners while normies are the losers. "The strong do what they will and the weak do what they must." There's no merit to work or contributing to society, and it should be okay to not contribute. We were all forced into society anyways; it's not like we had a choice. I've never understood normies' obsession with "muh contribution!" If normies get mad at having to support Neets, then they shouldn't have children. I believe that all parents should support their children for life. Why bring a child into the world just to doom it to a fate of wageslavery? That's cruel and evil in my opinion

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Yeah, so? Normies hate Neets for an unjustified reason. Normies only hate Neets because they're secretly jealous of them. Normies envy Neets. Also, in this world, there are winners and losers, and the strong and the weak. Neets are the winners while normies are the losers. "The strong do what they will and the weak do what they must." There's no merit to work or contributing to society, and it should be okay to not contribute. We were all forced into society anyways; it's not like we had a choice. I've never understood normies' obsession with "muh contribution!" If normies get mad at having to support Neets, then they shouldn't have children. I believe that all parents should support their children for life. Why bring a child into the world just to doom it to a fate of wageslavery? That's cruel and evil in my opinion

You are so obsessed with "normies" to the point at which I wonder if you are actually jealous of them rather than the other way around.

 

[sserafim]

You are so obsessed with "normies" to the point at which I wonder if you are actually jealous of them rather than the other way around.

Why would I be obsessed with people who have to work to survive? I don't dream of labor. Normies are modern day slaves, and it's they who shit on Neets all the time. All I'm saying is facts and observations. Normies are wageslaves while Neets are the winners of life

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Why would I be obsessed with people who have to work to survive? I don't dream of labor. It's normies who shit on Neets all the time. All I'm saying is facts and observations

You are constantly talking about them so I would say that calling you "obsessed" makes perfect sense. There are a lot of NEETS on here and very few of them are going around and making posts complaining about "wagies" on a regular basis, let alone at all. Also, as @Kavka said, you rely on them to survive so you don't have the right to laugh at them for working. You literally need people working in order for you to keep up your NEET lifestyle. You haven't stated any facts, just opinions. A lot of what you said is shrouded in bias and your own assumptions on how others work.

 

[Kavka]

Yeah, so? Normies hate Neets for an unjustified reason. Normies only hate Neets because they're secretly jealous of them. Normies envy Neets. Also, in this world, there are winners and losers, and the strong and the weak. Neets are the winners while normies are the losers. "The strong do what they will and the weak do what they must."

That's a lot of assumptions, which I in turn assume is your way of resolving the cognitive dissonance and making yourself feel better about yourself and your situation.

There's no merit to work or contributing to society, and it should be okay to not contribute. We were all forced into society anyways; it's not like we had a choice. I've never understood normies' obsession with "muh contribution!" If normies get mad at having to support Neets, then they shouldn't have children. I believe that all parents should support their children for life. Why bring a child into the world just to doom it to a fate of wageslavery? That's cruel and evil in my opinion

If everyone thinks that it's okay not to contribute to society and to stop paying taxes, then it's impossible to be a NEET in the first place.
I'm a NEET myself at the moment and I think society should show solidarity with people who are worse off, but I think your condescension and disdain towards "normies" is a bit silly.

 

[Downdraft]

Normies only hate Neets because they're secretly jealous of them.

So much, that I did real effort to leave unemployment.

Just accept dedicating oneself to hedonism is not fulfilling, and some enjoy finantial freedom to dome more things than "lazying around".

As a note, I don't hate you. I just find your constant ranting about employed people annoying, specially when some of us " normies" haven't done anything wrong to you.