Discussion Why do people with good lives want to kill themselves?

[MHCheese454]

Respect everyone. I read the rules. I'm not going to go on an incel rant, but I would identify as an incel because I'm short and ugly, but I don't hate women or men who are conventionally attractive.. But I don't understand why someone who has it good would rope? I'm being completely genuine, and I would like to hear the thoughts of someone with a "good life" who wants to rope.

For example. If a woman has a partner, who loves her, and she has hobbies, and no financial problems, why would she become suicidal?

Or the attractive male with many friends. Why would he become suicidal?

I think the reason I'm suicidal, is because of a lot of unlucky circumstances piled up to one.

I have little friends. I'm short. I'm ugly. I'm black. No job. Porn addiction. Crap sleep schedule. Falling behind in life.

It's like little pieces which add up. I'm short and ugly. There is LL surgery, there is facial cosmetic surgery. And I've looked into it. But it needs money.

Overall, I'm suicidal because it's tricky all around imo, if someone has their life in order, I don't see why they would be suicidal. Can someone explain their perspective?

 

[rozeske]

I don't have a good life by no means but my opinion is what seemingly looks like a good life of someone isn't as good as it looks on the out side. What others see from afar is only the surface level of what that life is actually like. It's all assumptions and speculations. Another thing is we tend to reflect on our wishes for a better life, so when we see the thing we desperately long for in others lifes we question why it wouldn't be enough for them to keep going because we feel it would have been more than enough to make us happy or make us want to live. The fact is, it is always subjective and not as black and white what this "good life" really means.

 

[GoatHerder]

My life was good before I got fucked up by Psychiatry, which quickly turned into a terrible life.

I don't enjoy anything now, I also don't look forward to doing things either. You could give me $1,000,000 and I still wouldn't care or be happy.

 

[crownofcerberus]

What you deem as a "good life" is subjective .... would your reasoning in wanting to CTB cease to exist if you got a job and were taller? Does a good life stem from having someone to sleep next to you at night? or does it stem from being satisfied with oneself? The pain that is existing doesn't spare you just because you may have a well-paying job or family members who care about you. I've worked with young girls who have been in and out of mental hospitals their whole life due to being SA'd at a young age, and I have met people who wanted to CTB because they were unhappy with their surroundings. Both are valid reasons, each one of us faces the challenges of life differently and hold different aspects of it to different standards.

 

[Roadrunner]

A good life is relative, and different to everyone. I have what I would describe as an ok life. I'm not well off, but I'm not poor either. I am however tired living with anxiety and depression. The meds don't cure the problem, they just numb it. Nothing feels like it makes me happy anymore. Every day is just another day of existence.

 

[R_N]

Because humans can't get everything their way and botomless pit of desire is never fulfilled. People often think that having x or y will turn their life into some sort of "happy" ending but that's not how life in human body works.

 

[aslank98]

At the end of the day all of that stuff is completely meaningless. Yeah you can distract yourself if you are very wealthy, good looking. But eventually no matter who you are this world just gets incredibly dull, boring and will inflict suffering on ALL LIFE FORMS.

It's why most of these rich celebrities have crazy parties, do crazy amounts of drugs, drink so much alcohol. Ordinary life for them just doesn't do anything anymore. They don't feel anything so they seek more crazy pleasure from activities that aren't available to the common person.

Even if you're rich, extremely good looking life can still fuck you over with bad health, cancer, disease, accidents, murder, injury, torture.

 

[dinosavr]

My life, except for my mental health, compared to others, seem almost perfect. But the thing is that depression is a really democratic bitch and it doesn't really matter how is your life. And it definitely makes a difference but still, I don't think wanting to die can be eliminated even if all the other conditions are more than perfect. After all, life is pointless and there's no need to stay.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Others have already said it, a "good life" is subjective. In my case a big failure in life makes me suicidal but others say "just stand up again, your life is still great" to me it's not - I'm just rotting away at home.

 

[EmoIsNotAPhase]

Honestly mental illness can just be as simple as the brain not firing right. Maybe they have a good life can recognize that and wonder why they can't be happy. That can throw them deeper in thinking they are ungrateful or failing others. We don't know what's going on in their had.

 

[ClownWorld2023]

but I would identify as an incel because I'm short and ugly, but I don't hate women or men who are conventionally attractive..

You should stop putting that label on yourself then, because that word has been thoroughly infected.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Thanks to the hedonic treadmill, humans can adjust to feel ambivalent even when living a life most people would kill for.

 

[Edpal247]

Sometimes those who seem to have to most feel the most lost when they lose part of it. And there is our brain - no accounting for brain chemistry. Sorry you don't feel better about yourself. Hugs

 

[AmericanMary]

You never know what's behind a closed door. You never know what's going on in someone else's head.

Judging someone who "appears" to have a good life, according to your standards, is lowkey lame.

 

[1043169]

Money and status aren't everything. You can still be suffering and rich. Just look at like Robin Williams and Anthony Bourdain.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Not everybody cares about relationships. In my case, I don't care about relationships or sex as I have a low sex drive. My life isn't good but, if I were to be in a loving relationship,.I'd still choose to rope as a relationship can't fix my issues

 

[lyfsoverrated]

Maybe the realization that we all get the same outcome. After awhile something that seemed great, is considered just ok. Never enough attitude.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Respect everyone. I read the rules. I'm not going to go on an incel rant, but I would identify as an incel because I'm short and ugly, but I don't hate women or men who are conventionally attractive.. But I don't understand why someone who has it good would rope? I'm being completely genuine, and I would like to hear the thoughts of someone with a "good life" who wants to rope.

For example. If a woman has a partner, who loves her, and she has hobbies, and no financial problems, why would she become suicidal?

Or the attractive male with many friends. Why would he become suicidal?

I think the reason I'm suicidal, is because of a lot of unlucky circumstances piled up to one.

I have little friends. I'm short. I'm ugly. I'm black. No job. Porn addiction. Crap sleep schedule. Falling behind in life.

It's like little pieces which add up. I'm short and ugly. There is LL surgery, there is facial cosmetic surgery. And I've looked into it. But it needs money.

Overall, I'm suicidal because it's tricky all around imo, if someone has their life in order, I don't see why they would be suicidal. Can someone explain their perspective?

Respect everyone. I read the rules. I'm not going to go on an incel rant, but I would identify as an incel because I'm short and ugly, but I don't hate women or men who are conventionally attractive.. But I don't understand why someone who has it good would rope? I'm being completely genuine, and I would like to hear the thoughts of someone with a "good life" who wants to rope.

For example. If a woman has a partner, who loves her, and she has hobbies, and no financial problems, why would she become suicidal?

Or the attractive male with many friends. Why would he become suicidal?

I think the reason I'm suicidal, is because of a lot of unlucky circumstances piled up to one.

I have little friends. I'm short. I'm ugly. I'm black. No job. Porn addiction. Crap sleep schedule. Falling behind in life.

It's like little pieces which add up. I'm short and ugly. There is LL surgery, there is facial cosmetic surgery. And I've looked into it. But it needs money.

Overall, I'm suicidal because it's tricky all around imo, if someone has their life in order, I don't see why they would be suicidal. Can someone explain their perspective?

Childhood trauma and inability to cope. Sometimes having looks and means makes it worse because to others it looks like the person suffering is just being dramatic.

I'm convinced there's an element of body dysmorphic disorder with incels and their hyper fixation on height, chins, baldness etc. The jails are filled with handsome "alphas" wasting the best years of their lives for making mistakes they didn't need to make. Many a beautiful woman is sex trafficked, raped etc. Good looks can help in life but if you have deep inner pain it can add to the shame of not "deserving" to even feel bad.

 

[M3lancholia]

I have a relatively good life - have a large home, a job I love and a loving family. From the outside no one would think I'm planning to ctb. I mask my feelings with smiles when out. However, since I was 9 I've had so many depressive episodes. I learnt to push through them but now, over 30 years on, I'm too exhausted to do it anymore. Nothing makes me happy and each day is such an effort. I've never found it difficult to get a boyfriend but I just have no interest now.
You can never tell how anyone's feeling inside.
Also some people in bad situations try to make the most of it & be happy

 

[another_creature]

Respect everyone. I read the rules. I'm not going to go on an incel rant, but I would identify as an incel because I'm short and ugly, but I don't hate women or men who are conventionally attractive.. But I don't understand why someone who has it good would rope? I'm being completely genuine, and I would like to hear the thoughts of someone with a "good life" who wants to rope.

For example. If a woman has a partner, who loves her, and she has hobbies, and no financial problems, why would she become suicidal?

Or the attractive male with many friends. Why would he become suicidal?

I think the reason I'm suicidal, is because of a lot of unlucky circumstances piled up to one.

I have little friends. I'm short. I'm ugly. I'm black. No job. Porn addiction. Crap sleep schedule. Falling behind in life.

It's like little pieces which add up. I'm short and ugly. There is LL surgery, there is facial cosmetic surgery. And I've looked into it. But it needs money.

Overall, I'm suicidal because it's tricky all around imo, if someone has their life in order, I don't see why they would be suicidal. Can someone explain their perspective?

Replying now as I'm about to go to bed to remember to explain it later. Thank you for this thread btw

 

[Eternal Eyes]

I have often thought of this myself, especially growing up, at least where I lived, suicides seemed to rarely occur among those deemed "loners", or what they were wrongly called back then, "weirdos". In fact, the first suicide I remember was that of a sportsperson (Gary Speed ), someone who probably was envied by others as living the dream.

As time has gone on however, I've known enough people attempt CTB to feel I can add my two cents worth. I firstly feel that very few people truly know people, and even less know what someone else's true thoughts and psyche. Suicide ideation is fairly common for lots of people even when things are going right. An old friend of mine was one such person. She grew up in a very affluent household, her father was a man who locally would be deemed very influential, she had piano lessons, multiple vacations, practically anything she wanted, yet she was suicidal from the age of 8. Turns out in actuality she didn't really have a great life, her mother and worse, younger brother, seemed to take turns in physically and mentally abusing her. Yet from the outside looking in, you'd think she had a brilliant life. A "WASP Yuppie" in American terms.

Another close relation I had was my brother in law, who did CTB. He was married with several children. I always had a strange vibe about him though, he seemed somewhat socially awkward. Turns out he was very abusive and had on and off drug addictions all his life that he somehow managed to hide from almost everyone. From the outside looking in, he was a normal middle aged family man.

The third person is a man I knew very little of, I knew him through friends of friends. He certainly fell into the alpha male category. Very popular with ladies and his male friends. Always seemingly partying and clubbing. One day, out of the blue, he hung himself. This is the one I think of the most, and I think it was a case of he'd always been depressed, and drinking, partying and sexual relations had managed to become a coping mechanism. He got into his later twenties, probably questioned what he was doing, saw a very bleak future, and had an existential crisis which lead to him ending it. From the outside looking in, he had life very good.

I often wonder how both people irl would perceive me if they knew I was here. People would assume (especially in the UK) that I'm living the dream. I'm not. I'm miserable. I log in here everyday so I can vent off to a few people, because heck knows I can't do that in the real world. I do wonder, if I did CTB, would anyone question why I did it? Would they say I had a "perfect life"? As people have said above, it's all relative, but like you OP, this is something I do ponder a lot.

 

[kvsvenky100]

Because there's no such thing as a good life. Life is all about chattel bonded slave labour to some rotting organs.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I would consider myself at least somewhat attractive as I've never had issues attracting male attention. I've had boyfriends. I've attended college and went to parties, had friends, hobbies I enjoyed, have a steady job, etc.

I've never felt more alone than when I had a significant other. Depression, disillusionment, and isolation can happen even if you're surrounded by "friends" and family. Knowing someone only "loves" you because they find you attractive or for what you can give them isn't a comfort

I've known a few very beautiful and popular women in college who CTB'd. Depression and loneliness doesn't discriminate

 

[everythingblack]

For me, it was ghosts from childhood trauma and abusers. Things catch up to you really fast until you can't cope anymore. Your question is about people with "good lives", but most people with genuinely good lives don't want to ctb. The ones that want to ctb are usually the lives that look good on the surface, but not all that glitters is gold. Everybody thought my life was perfect. little did they know I was in troubled waters

 

[derpyderpins]

The decision to ctb is about the individual's moment-to-moment experience and perception. Our brains work differently and need different things. Even if it seems like common needs are met something else could be missing or harmful.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

How do you define a good life?

...Yes: an individual might be (conventionally) physically attractive, and have financial stability, but these factors do not negate any issues which are lingering below the surface of their seemingly perfect life. What you know about other people, is only whatever it is that they choose to express, and oftentimes they (or we) will choose to hide the more painful parts of our lives; those people who are viewed as living a desirable existence could be experiencing physical, mental or sexual abuse in their personal lives - abuse which no amount of wealth can completely repair. Also: finding a loving partner or riches is not a part of everyone's criteria for a "good" or "successful" life anyhow.

 

[ms-lovely]

Just like "good and bad" are relative to ones understanding of what is good from our perspective. In my case, I understand i have a good life conventionally speaking, as I am considered good looking, have a partner that cares for me, higher education, good family relations, great friends, good social skills and plenty of hobbies. The thing is that just like you consider your life as "bad", it has the potencial to become better through actions, what im trying to say is that even a seemingly good life requires actions to stay that way just like a bad life requieres actions to become better, in a sense it is just tiring and when you lose the ability to want to do things or improve i think i just rather say goodbye than see everything crumble in my hands. I find myself with no desire for existence often.

 

[divinemistress36]

Mental illness dgaf how good someones life is

 

[MHCheese454]

Just like "good and bad" are relative to ones understanding of what is good from our perspective. In my case, I understand i have a good life conventionally speaking, as I am considered good looking, have a partner that cares for me, higher education, good family relations, great friends, good social skills and plenty of hobbies. The thing is that just like you consider your life as "bad", it has the potencial to become better through actions, what im trying to say is that even a seemingly good life requires actions to stay that way just like a bad life requieres actions to become better, in a sense it is just tiring and when you lose the ability to want to do things or improve i think i just rather say goodbye than see everything crumble in my hands. I find myself with no desire for existence often.

I mean, the actions needed differ in intensity.
For someone like me who's conventionally very unattractive, I can be good looking, if I get 4 - 6 facial surgeries on my face, and they all work to make my lower lip and nose smaller, eyes's not drooping, ears not misshapen, etc.

To get a partner, I would have to get facial surgery. Then I would have to make my mental health normal. Then I would have to get over my trauma. I would have to fix my crooked teeth, because that's very noticable. I would have to mentally stop being an incel.

I don't see my Dad, and my mother is a single Mom. If I wanted to form a relationship, I would have to find my Dad, convince him to like me. I would have to pucker to my Mom because she's weird and hates me for seemingly no reason. I would have to stop NEETing if I want to get higher education.

I don't feel as if there's no solution. It's just that it's nearly impossible to make my life good.
I agree with you on the losing the ability or want to improve things. It's extremely hard for me to be motivated when I know it's over.

 

[MHCheese454]

I would consider myself at least somewhat attractive as I've never had issues attracting male attention. I've had boyfriends. I've attended college and went to parties, had friends, hobbies I enjoyed, have a steady job, etc.

I've never felt more alone than when I had a significant other. Depression, disillusionment, and isolation can happen even if you're surrounded by "friends" and family. Knowing someone only "loves" you because they find you attractive or for what you can give them isn't a comfort

I've known a few very beautiful and popular women in college who CTB'd. Depression and loneliness doesn't discriminate

That seems like an oxymoron in my opinion. How can you be alone when you have people around you? I fee alone because I have no people around me. No offense. Can you describe that phenomenon?