Discussion Why do people try to save lives?

[Circles]

I understand that urge to help others, but what is the psychology behind the reason that humans feel the need to 'help' and even try to be good in the first place? What even makes it right to intervene in someone's attempt? Why is it so hard to just let someone go and yet so easy pretending to care?

 

[Frostypigeon]

I like to help others because the world is a messed up place, I see more worth in others than I see in myself. I question this too though. A lot of people that try to intervene come off as fake and wanting to check off a box on their list to feel like they achieved something.

 

[brighter]

I agree with the point @Frostypigeon made, about ticking off a box. Maybe it makes people feel accomplished and honourable to save a life, even if the person they were saving didn't want to be saved.

It's very deeply ingrained in society and may have something to do with our natural human instincts. I think maybe this is our way of protecting our species, as opposed to what would go against the grain, and possibly what we were made for.

 

[Davy]

Saving a life is considered the "moral thing to do". As for why people want act morally, there are lots of different reasons depending on the person and circumstance. For example:

• They just want to do the right thing.
• They want to avoid criticism and conflict , which happens if they do the wrong thing.
• They would feel bad acting immorally.
• Don't want to go to Hell.
• They want to be viewed as a good person by others.
• ect.

 

[TAW122]

Another reason that others haven't stated yet is the hero-complex that a lot of people have, which is the whole mentality of "I gotta save someone at all costs" and the stupid idea that "All life is valuable and must be preserved". People always have this weird regret that if they acted maybe (even as a 0.0000001% chance) that person can be saved. It is silly that this is the pervasive mentality of "maybe I coulda saved him/her". Once people get over the fact that there is always hope and start to accept that not everyone can be saved, then progress can be made.

 

[Circles]

I agree with the point @Frostypigeon made, about ticking off a box. Maybe it makes people feel accomplished and honourable to save a life, even if the person they were saving didn't want to be saved.

It's very deeply ingrained in society and may have something to do with our natural human instincts. I think maybe this is our way of protecting our species, as opposed to what would go against the grain, and possibly what we were made for.

In some school of thought it proposes that seeking extinction to the species is a way of protecting it. Obviously goes against the sanctity of life.

Saving a life is considered the "moral thing to do". As for why people want act morally, there are lots of different reasons depending on the person and circumstance. For example:

• They just want to do the right thing.
• They want to avoid criticism and conflict , which happens if they do the wrong thing.
• They would feel bad acting immorally.
• Don't want to go to Hell.
• They want to be viewed as a good person by others.
• ect.

It's just weird how backwards it is even if it's with good intentions. Sometimes saving someone from a life of trapped misery may be more merciful. I guess it's all subjective.

 

[Superfluous]

I understand that urge to help others, but what is the psychology behind the reason that humans feel the need to 'help' and even try to be good in the first place? What even makes it right to intervene in someone's attempt? Why is it so hard to just let someone go and yet so easy pretending to care?

I think there's a difference between the urge to help people and intervening in someone's suicide attempt.

Pretty much the only satisfaction I get in life is from helping people in any way I can, but I don't consider preventing someone from committing suicide as 'helping'.

 

[Frostypigeon]

Saving a life is considered the "moral thing to do". As for why people want act morally, there are lots of different reasons depending on the person and circumstance. For example:

• They just want to do the right thing.
• They want to avoid criticism and conflict , which happens if they do the wrong thing.
• They would feel bad acting immorally.
• Don't want to go to Hell.
• They want to be viewed as a good person by others.
• ect.

I didn't think about that, I guess I'm becoming more jaded. It plays a part of why I'm still alive. I don't want to let the people who helped me down, even though I hate my existence. I kind of hate them for helping me.

 

[Final Escape]

I understand that urge to help others, but what is the psychology behind the reason that humans feel the need to 'help' and even try to be good in the first place? What even makes it right to intervene in someone's attempt? Why is it so hard to just let someone go and yet so easy pretending to care?

We are all actually wired for cooperation and altruism when things go correctly in our early years.The human race could not progress this far if many people did not develop empathy and compassion for fellow human beings. In cultures where child abuse is more common and acceptable there's less development of empathy I think. That sort of shuts down the development of this ability because u have to survive hostile conditions and regular threats on your existence.

I do think we are wired to want to be good or socially well behaved normally because there's benefits to our genes and the tribe. We used to live in small groups of people and this put pressure on us to look out for each other. The conditions we live under now is more artificial if u live in a country like the US for example. Many people no longer have a ethnic homogeneous small group of like 100 people close by which includes your elders, adults, and kids, all in the same general area. It no longer exists probably lol!

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I understand that urge to help others, but what is the psychology behind the reason that humans feel the need to 'help' and even try to be good in the first place? What even makes it right to intervene in someone's attempt? Why is it so hard to just let someone go and yet so easy pretending to care?

Lemme ask you something
But first, let me tell you a story about myself (many of you have read apart of this just not in detail like now)
I was 8 the first time I tried to end my life.
I scooped up a rope into my arms and carried it to my bed. From there, I hobbled up to my bed, went on to my tippie toes and hung this rope up to the fan that hung from my ceiling and looped it across one of the wings.

My mom had recently taken my siblings and i to visit slave monuments and walk the grounds my ancestors did. She thought it would be a great learning tool and it was. But as soon as I got home, I was court ordered back to my father's house where I was beaten, kicked, punched and starved. I had ran away numerous times but despite the "child protection" angency checks, the neighbors and the god fearing christain church I was taken to every Sunday all being witnesses to what was done to me or at the very least heard my screams of pain and saw the fear in my eyes each time I was forced to approach him, did nothing.

For years on end with my spirit getting crushed further down each and every time, I walked to my mother's awaiting arms in anguish and love because she was the only one that believed me unwaveringly

One day, it got to much. And here I am, staring at the noose I had just created with a single thought in my head of how white people use to hang people like me. I remembered what those knots looked like, I knew that I wouldn't be here any longer as soon as I put my head in that hole I created.

Would you have stopped me?

 

[housecat]

I think people assume that suicide is always a rushed, panicked state because someone is going through a temporarily difficult time, and that the person probably wants to be saved and feel needed. They also get to feel good about themselves as they get to say that they saved a life. Nevermind they may have also just furthered that person's suffering. I don't know why it's so engrained that suicide is bad, particularly when we put down suffering animals. I don't know if it's based in religion, or if people are just irked that others are skipping to the end, like a game cheat. We're expected to suffer through and be grateful for the experience. (In some instances it might be right to save someone, but not always).

 

[Dead beat dad]

I understand that urge to help others, but what is the psychology behind the reason that humans feel the need to 'help' and even try to be good in the first place? What even makes it right to intervene in someone's attempt? Why is it so hard to just let someone go and yet so easy pretending to care?

I think the nature of the human condition can be transient, but suicide is a one way ticket.
Some people have been sucidal and recovered and this gives those people hope.
Hope, that they might prevent you from making a irreversible decision, especially if you are not or perceived not to be in full possession of your faculties.
I'm not saying it's right and the right to choose is often not respected at all, but I can see their side of the discussion.
DBD

 

[K8!]

Its human instinct. a need to help and feel self worth.

 

[Superfluous]

Lemme ask you something
But first, let me tell you a story about myself (many of you have read apart of this just not in detail like now)
I was 8 the first time I tried to end my life.
I scooped up a rope into my arms and carried it to my bed. From there, I hobbled up to my bed, went on to my tippie toes and hung this rope up to the fan that hung from my ceiling and looped it across one of the wings.

My mom had recently taken my siblings and i to visit slave monuments and walk the grounds my ancestors did. She thought it would be a great learning tool and it was. But as soon as I got home, I was court ordered back to my father's house where I was beaten, kicked, punched and starved. I had ran away numerous times but despite the "child protection" angency checks, the neighbors and the god fearing christain church I was taken to every Sunday all being witnesses to what was done to me or at the very least heard my screams of pain and saw the fear in my eyes each time I was forced to approach him, did nothing.

For years on end with my spirit getting crushed further down each and every time, I walked to my mother's awaiting arms in anguish and love because she was the only one that believed me unwaveringly

One day, it got to much. And here I am, staring at the noose I had just created with a single thought in my head of how white people use to hang people like me. I remembered what those knots looked like, I knew that I wouldn't be here any longer as soon as I put my head in that hole I created.

Would you have stopped me?

@DepressionsAHo I apologise for taking so long to answer, but I've really struggled to decide what I honestly would do given that choice. Your question (and your situation at the time) has been haunting me for almost a week now, and I feel it requires at least one honest answer.

I can give you a simple answer which is "Yes, I would have stopped you", but my reason for this is specific to your method. Ceiling fans aren't designed to support the weight of an average child aged 8 (57 lb). There's even a question on Quora about this exact subject. So I would stop you because it would have failed and caused more problems for you.

However, I don't think this is really what you're asking. I believe the question to be "Would you stop an 8-year-old child in your situation from killing themselves."

I think the closest I can get to an honest answer is again "Yes I would." In your case and at that age, the reason for wanting to do so is based on your situation at that time and not an illness (mental or physical). As such, given your age at the time, your situation would eventually change and when that happened there would be a chance that your perspective on life may also change.

I'm not totally comfortable with my answer as I'm very pro-choice. I could also argue that an 8-year-old child wouldn't have the required cognitive ability to make such a life-changing decision, but I don't know for certain whether that is true or not.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Yes, you got a part of the point of my post I was trying to make which I hesitated on if anybody would get
The fundamental point however is this. Nobody knows your situation. I don't think you can chalk someone saving your life up to ticking off a feel good box or fear of going to hell or whichever for them. Those thoughts don't go through your mind when you're saving someones life
I mean, what was your first initial thought when I presented you with my situation? Yes I presume.
Those people don't walk in, see someone hanging and go "oh well" and walk out. That's not how people work

 

[Superfluous]

Yes, you got a part of the point of my post I was trying to make which I hesitated on if anybody would get
The fundamental point however is this. Nobody knows your situation. I don't think you can chalk someone saving your life up to ticking off a feel good box or fear of going to hell or whichever for them. Those thoughts don't go through your mind when you're saving someones life
I mean, what was your first initial thought when I presented you with my situation? No I presume.
Those people don't walk in, see someone hanging and go "oh well" and walk out. That's not how people work

OK. I think I've got it now.

My first initial thought was "Yes", I would save you, but only due to your age at that time. I took so long to reply because I (would like to?) believe my initial reaction would be to walk away, but I needed time to resolve my conflicting thoughts.

Now, I realise that my opposing opinions based on age opens up a can of worms, so please don't ask me at what age I would/wouldn't save someone. That's the same dark hole as someone asking if I would kill 1 person to save 100.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I

OK. I think I've got it now.

My first initial thought was "Yes", I would save you, but only due to your age at that time. I took so long to reply because I (would like to?) believe my initial reaction would be to walk away, but I needed time to resolve my conflicting thoughts.

Now, I realise that my opposing opinions based on age opens up a can of worms, so please don't ask me at what age I would/wouldn't save someone. That's the same dark hole as someone asking if I would kill 1 person to save 100.

I Meant to say yes my bad lol. I was thinking a bit to fast.
And that's alright. It's why I hesitated posting this cause I didn't wanna make this all about me I just wanted to bring up a thought provoking question in hopes someone would understand what I was trying to say. I happened to have a story, presented at a troubling age for the op to respond to.

 

[Should be gone]

I Meant to say yes my bad lol. I was thinking a bit to fast.
And that's alright. It's why I hesitated posting this cause I didn't wanna make this all about me I just wanted to bring up a thought provoking question in hopes someone would understand what I was trying to say. I happened to have a story, presented at a troubling age for the op to respond to.

I saw the question when you posted it, and I still don't really know how I'd react at some level. Without knowing your situation I'd say to stop you. Knowing your situation, I'm honestly not sure, I probably would have stopped you for the reasons Superfluous said above, but I'm not sure really, that's such a shitty situation to be in.

 

[Quinlor]

It's a lie. In general people don't care about anyone. The problem is if you said to everyone that you suffering and want to die they will try to save you by social obligation but inside they don't care, specially therapists.

 

[alizee]

People are socially conditioned since childhood to think it's the good thing to do.
Example: someone falls, you help them get up and ask if they're alright.
Nobody puts much deep thought into if "preventing suicide" is the right thing to do. Even medical professionals prefer to not even think about it because why go against the system in place when you enjoy living. They don't realize how selfish they're being by forcing others to live and when the victims deeply desire to die for justified reasons to them personally.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I saw the question when you posted it, and I still don't really know how I'd react at some level. Without knowing your situation I'd say to stop you. Knowing your situation, I'm honestly not sure, I probably would have stopped you for the reasons Superfluous said above, but I'm not sure really, that's such a shitty situation to be in.

And that's the point im making here. The key point. Without knowing my situation, you would have stopped me.
That's why some save lives.

 

[Deadgirl]

It's a lie. In general people don't care about anyone. The problem is if you said to everyone that you suffering and want to die they will try to save you by social obligation but inside they don't care, specially therapists.

I 100% agree on this. I even got my psychologist to admit that he's pro life because if he let people kill themselves he wouldn't have a job. In reality people only want you around for their own comfort or to profit off of your suffering.

 

[Mich517]

[...] In reality people only want you around for their own comfort [...]

We can even see how much they are neutral when hearing about somebody bad mood and how surprised and sad when someone ctb.