Why do people self harm?

[Marktheghost]

Why do people self harm? I've never understood why people self harm. If you kill yourself, then that ends the suffering, so that's understandable and obviously can be a good thing. Self harming just for the sake of harming yourself though, doesn't that just increase the suffering?

 

[Berlin76]

Why do people self harm? I've never understood why people self harm. If you kill yourself, then that ends the suffering, so that's understandable and obviously can be a good thing. Self harming just for the sake of harming yourself though, doesn't that just increase the suffering?

Because of trauma inflicted pain that and poor coping mechanism, some even cut themselves. Its part of borderline mostly also or other B cluster disorders

 

[terry_a_davis]

Why do people self harm? I've never understood why people self harm. If you kill yourself, then that ends the suffering, so that's understandable and obviously can be a good thing. Self harming just for the sake of harming yourself though, doesn't that just increase the suffering?

I don't understand properly it myself but there must be reasons why people do it otherwise they wouldn't do it. I've read one reason is that some people think they deserve to suffer so they cut themselves. There's probably a few reasons.

 

[LastRide]

You want the body to hurt so it turns the attention of your mind to something acute and concrete like physical pain - so your mind stops spinning and driving you crazy with depression, anxiety, or whatever other awful mental condition you suffer from....trust me you actually LIKE the pain, it brings you peace of mind for at least a few minutes.

 

[ithappens]

It distracts from the mental anguish and agony.
Also sometimes I feel like I deserve it, to be punished.

 

[tireddreamer]

It's a response to emotional distress. Things like cutting forces the brain to focus on physical pain over mental anguish.

I don't self-harm, but I've noticed that when I'm in a particularly bad place mentally, I tend to chew on my fingers/fingernails and bite my lip. It's the same principle.

 

[nonamegirl]

You want the body to hurt so it turns the attention of your mind to something acute and concrete like physical pain - so your mind stops spinning and driving you crazy with depression, anxiety, or whatever other awful mental condition you suffer from....trust me you actually LIKE the pain, it brings you peace of mind for at least a few minutes.

It makes sense. I'm not a cutter myself (not yet at least) but I have so wanted to cut myself, when my mind is raping the f**** out of me, with all kinds of painful thoughts and mental images. I've felt that desperation of just wanting something more concrete like physical pain. I do bite myself hard sometimes, when I get frustrated enough and it sorta helps for a couple seconds. Same principle I guess.

 

[SimplyTopHat]

It's what I was used to.

Physical punishment for simple mistakes or for any indescribable reason. It's like I was groomed into thinking that was how I was to punish myself.

Now, it does nothing for me. No relief, no release- it just is.

 

[Seneca70]

I don't usually self-harm (I don't want a ton of scars), but when I do, I do it because I just enjoy feeling pain.

 

[nonamegirl]

A therapist once gave me some good advice on how to "self-harm" without hurting yourself, to stop racing thoughts (one of the rare times I've gotten good concrete advice)

Hold ice cubes in your hands. that will send pains into your hands/arms
Eat something really spicy like chilly, or something really sour/bitter
Cold showers.

.......Still, I bite myself sometimes when desperate.

 

[Mr2005]

I never have. My body was far too precious to me. I just destroyed my mental health and sabotaged my life instead

 

[Reallyreallyreally]

I don't anymore because I have meds that help but before I did and before I understood how overwhelming my work environment was for my senses I would do it to short circuit panic attacks. It was functioning for me as a quick way to ground myself so I could focus and hold composure. I worked as as a bar back in a high volume location and alcohol didn't work very well for this purpose.

At other times I got high on it. It was lovely. That's not really sustainable though because it makes things awkward in the locker room of my chosen sport. The showers are communal and a shower has to be taken after finishing.

 

[Alec]

I cut myself because I wanted to feel the pain, it distracted me for a second from the emotional pain but also I wanted to remind myself what physical pain feels like so that I remember that I am strong enough to feel, to take the pain.

 

[seafarer]

For me it's the disrathion of the pain also it becomes a bit.like a ritual the same was someone whommay shoot op drugs has a set routine they follow so it seems calm.themmins then as you cut and pain arrives it takes it away from.mind and.also releases hormones and adrenaline which can become quite a addictive feeling like the rich you get on a jump scare that gets the andrenaline going. The body releases the same when you cut to some degree so it's like a free drug that momentarily take away you mental anguish and thoughts of the outside world no matter how fleeting it might be. At least that's my take

 

[catfletcher]

I started doing it not long after first being put on antidepressants when I was about 20. I didn't know why I did it and it's only now, many years later, that I can see why.
The meds numbed me. They took my lows and also my highs. I felt nothing and it was awful. All my suppressed emotions built up in me until they exploded out in a huge fountain. I had no idea why, but I felt like I could release it by cutting myself. It worked. I felt something. So I did it again. And again.
Later, there were other reasons too. Sometimes I wanted to be looked after. Having wounds dressed, antidotes to overdoses given and even being hospitalised... these things made me feel like I mattered to someone and wasn't so alone.

I've not self harmed for years now in the conventional sense. But... I'm pretty sure contemplating my death, saying negative things about myself and other negative behaviours are all self harm too, just more passive. I abused alcohol for years. I had an eating disorder. Etc etc.

Self harm is so complex and I think each individual has their own reasons.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

Why do people self harm? I've never understood why people self harm. If you kill yourself, then that ends the suffering, so that's understandable and obviously can be a good thing. Self harming just for the sake of harming yourself though, doesn't that just increase the suffering?

I have spent many years self harming, I started as young as 4 year old. Most people who don't self harm will or can never understand it.
So I will try to explain as best I can in my case. For me the pain I felt was pleasurable, it made me feel alive, to watch blood running from the cuts was almost validation that I was alive and mattered.
When you feel ignored by society and a misfit the cutting can be like a grounding effect that you exist. It can become very ritualistic like a habit the amount of cuts, size of cuts and location of cuts.
When you are a self harmer and you hear the negative non understanding that people have, it can also make you want to do it because yet again you are being told you are abnormal.
It's been about 10 years since I last self harmed, and while I don't do it anymore I can visually see myself doing it in my mind when thoughts occur.
My advice is never question someone's motives for self harm because for that person it's a very personal act and to question it, is to further alienate that person.

 

[Quarky00]

The pain is unbearable and you cannot control it . Coming from inside , like a monster . Like a constant mental breakdown (or "on the verge of psychosis") . You literally scream , for hours . And it does not go away . You feel the pain chocking your heart , squeezing you . Person would bang their head on the wall , physically . Most common -- they cut themselves .

The act of cutting is not that painful . It's an outlet for that pain , a way to express or experience it (otherwise only in the mind) , a sense of control over it , a way to punish oneself , a calming or euphoric rush (body's natural painkiller etc) , mild physical pain distracts from severe mental pain , etc . List is really endless and very individual .



* Some are not aware of these emotions or effects , or may have other reasons and feelings ; after a while it becomes a habit or a ritual

 

[lostangel]

Please don't do it. I used to and I did it because of how good it felt when I cut. It helped deal with my mental pain.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I have self harmed for 7 years. I have gone through a lot of things in life. Cutting was my way of expressing how I felt on the inside but putting it into physical pain. Only person who has seen my cuts is my therapist.

 

[TAW122]

I think most of the answers here are correct. I don't self-harm myself, but based on the people I come across both IRL and the Internet, I believe it is a coping mechanism. For me, instead of self-harm in terms of physical injury, I do self-sabotage where I deliberately fuck up things for myself as a coping mechanism (e.g. fucking up a potential opportunity, fucking up a social situation (partially due to Aspergers), getting lazy and not doing productive things for the day, etc.).

 

[devil]

because it feels great

 

[CuddleHug]

The way I like to describe it is that I don't do it because I want to die, I do it because I want to live. It's a desperate attempt to distract from my emotional pain enough to not CTB. Without self-harm, I'd surely be dead by now. If that's a good thing or not doesn't really matter, it's a coping method like any other.

 

[Ghost2211]

I haven't let myself do it, but I get urges to when I get distressed since I can't ct. I want a physical expression for the emotional pain, and a physical expression for the desire to cause the ultimate self harmful act, suicide.

I don't do it since it won't really help anything, and becomes addictive of habitual.

 

[FailingAtLife]

Question: for those that enjoy the pain/release of self harm, could this be compared to the pleasure someone who enjoys being on the receiving end of BDSM gets...?
Note that this enjoyment is frequently NOT sexual, despite the context.

I never have. My body was far too precious to me. I just destroyed my mental health and sabotaged my life instead

Can I ask how/why you think you destroyed your mental health?

 

[I_love_to_bake]

Question: for those that enjoy the pain/release of self harm, could this be compared to the pleasure someone who enjoys being on the receiving end of BDSM gets...?
Note that this enjoyment is frequently NOT sexual, despite the context.

It might be for some. I can't really relate to BDSM pleasure because I would never get into that kind of thing. So for me, no it's not related.

Self harm comes from different places. For me, I struggle to stay connected with reality and intense pain is grounding for me. I almost feel like it's anti-psychotic. Because I cut when the voices/delusions are driving me crazy, and it grounds me back to reality. I know that cutting and bleeding releases serotonin, so I'm curious what relationship there is between serotonin and psychosis... Can anyone here expand on that thought?

 

[crazy1]

My reason for self harm is similar to what's already been said, and I think there are loads of reasons why someone would.
I started self harming when I was 14, I felt so much emotional pain I felt like I had to act on it to do something to lessen the pain, definitely an impulsive act. I still self harm now and I'm 23, ive always hated the pain but when I'm really distressed self harming almost stops that feeling for abit, or I'll do it when i don't feel real anymore and it reminds me I'm a human (if that makes sense), it becomes a habit that's really hard to stop.
I get strong impulses now to self harm whenever I get in a distressed state, I wish I didn't self harm, I've not worn a t shirt in public or Infront of my family since I started at 14, I've been in hospital with infections, and I've spent way to much time seeing dr's and nurses or trying to persuade them I don't need treatment, and I hate the fact that I self harm but I still can't stop.
I wish I never started in the first place but I feel like I'd be dead already if I didn't get the weird relief that if gives me.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I've been self-harming on and off since I was 12, I'm 24 now.
It helps with keeping my mind in check, it let's out stress and it helps me not want to kill myself.

 

[can'tdoitanymore]

I don't self harm anymore and I didn't for very long. In fact I never had before until I went on an antidepressant for anxiety. Within 2 weeks (and only a couple of days after doubling the dose) I started cutting so for me that drug definitely did something to make me want to and there's lots of reports online of similar happening. But once I started it was an adrenaline rush, a rush of euphoria. I liked seeing the blood and that I was hurting myself instead of being hurt by someone else. I liked that the physical pain distracted me from the mental pain and that I felt in control. It's addictive. I loved everything about the process. Taking care of the wounds and seeing my body healing itself. Maybe because I couldn't heal my mind but my body could. I rarely self harmed once I had attempted suicide though. After that it wasn't enough and didn't do anything for me. I only did it out of desperation a couple times after that.

I've also hit my head repeatedly which I guess is also a form of self harm but that was more when my mind was just overloaded with pain and anxiety and almost a subconscious response to try and make it stop.

 

[RottenDeer]

Im honest and I sincerely hope I am not offending anyone: I selfharmed because I like the rush of energy it caused. It was something I had control over. I liked to see my body getting destroyed.

 

[LastRide]

I did a lot of cutting and also burning my skin with fire or burning cigarettes. After a while I thought I needed something stronger, so I got into the SM scene. I am not going into the gory details, but you can believe me I took some serious hits....imagine being thrashed with a whip for an hour until blood flows all over your back.....you have to clench your teeth and sometimes it was so painful I lost consciousness. But the feeling afterwards was....WOW ! Better than any drug you could ever take. And it would give me a couple of days of peace of mind, my head would be so empty because it was just concentrating on the actual physical pain, that occupied it. Now I cannot do it any longer unfortunately, I moved somewhere else and have no "partners" here. Actually, what I wanted to say is that the only other place where there is such love, compassion, and genuine interest between people who do not really know each other as I have found here on this SS forum is the SM scene. You need a lot of mutual trust, understanding and compassion to do painful things to each other, especially when there is no sexual element involved. It sounds bizarre but trust me it's true.