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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
8,497
I don't hate myself - I don't love myself

I'm pretty much neutral to myself. I'm a failure bc of a big failure in life and can't get out of it. It's bc I made wrong decisions at crucial points in my life - from today's point of view.

I don't hate myself for that.

There was nothing could've done, uncontrollable external factors gave me the rest.
 
Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Global Mod
Feb 13, 2020
2,527
Hate is a very strong word ..

I do like myself, still I'm insecure in some situations. Most of those feelings come from a fucked up childhood and a few not that funny experiences in life.

People made me feel different, I looked different, was a wild child.
It took me years to see myself for who I am. And in most cases I'm happy I am me.

But I'm also a human with a load of bagage, sometimes i do feel like that girl again, different, unwanted and insecure
 
anotherlastchance

anotherlastchance

Your never not you
Feb 3, 2024
94
Having a high self esteem tends to leaning towards narcissistic aslong as you can say that you're a narcissist you're good because a narcissist would never say that
 
K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
451
Why do people on this website have such low-self esteem? I keep seeing users say that they hate themselves. I don't understand this. Personally, I don't really have an opinion on myself. I'm just me, it's not like I can be anyone else anyways. If anything, I hate the world and other people instead.
Having low self-esteem is a very common part of being suicidal. Not mandatory, of course. There is no one type of suicidal person. But is is very common. I think maybe for a couple of reasons, but I'm speculating:

1. Seeing yourself as worthless makes the thought of suicide more appealing. If you hate yourself you devalue yourself enough that you don't feel like you're throwing much away by ending it. In fact, living with yourself may be painful. And you may want to lash out and hurt yourself that way.
2. If you're isolated and alone you're probably more likely to not feel valued by others (correlating with low self-esteem) and you're less likely to have a strong social support system. A strong social support system is one of the best predictors of NOT killing yourself.
3. A lot of neglect, abuse, etc. causes both suicidal behaviour and low self-esteem. If someone was abused by their parents or partner or whatever, it can often make you suicidal and usually one of the first things abusers destroy is your self-esteem.
4. The people most likely to end up suicidal are outcasts from society. Because those people for whom the system works, are more likely to live lives that are full of meaning, happiness, etc. Whereas those for whom the system doesn't work are more likely to end up here. If the system rejects you it isn't only likely to make your life worse, but also your self-esteem. Because our self-esteem is at least partially dependent on how others see and react to us as well as how well we conform to societal ideas of success, etc. So the worse you fit into the system, the worse your outcomes and your self-esteem are both likely to be.
5. On top of that feeling depressed can often cause people to devalue themselves to cope, I think.

So I think it's really that low self-esteem helps increase the chance of suicide, depression often takes a toll on self-esteem and at the same time suicide is correlated with other factors which also correlate with low self-esteem (like abuse and social isolation).
 
S

Scythe

Lost in a delusion
Sep 5, 2022
489
This is what mental disorders and being suicidal does to ppl.
Okay, jokes aside, a lot of ppl have rough upbringings here. Mainly shit family or got bullied, and things like this really affects ppl. Childhood is someone's most impressible years and children will be heavily affected by their environment.
And then there's also a lot of ppl who never found love so they believe they are inherently unattractive on here.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that's just me
Sep 13, 2023
7,364
This is what mental disorders and being suicidal does to ppl.
Okay, jokes aside, a lot of ppl have rough upbringings here. Mainly shit family or got bullied, and things like this really affects ppl. Childhood is someone's most impressible years and children will be heavily affected by their environment.
And then there's also a lot of ppl who never found love so they believe they are inherently unattractive on here.
Those happened to me as well. Not exactly rough upbringing and shit family, but Asian parents: verbal, psychological and emotional abuse, sometimes even physical abuse (from my dad), yet I don't have low self esteem…I guess it's because I don't really have a strong sense or concept of self. I don't know who I am, what I like and what I want. I never found love either, but it's because I never wanted or desired it. I think I might be aromantic lol. I don't think that I'm inherently unattractive.
Having low self-esteem is a very common part of being suicidal. Not mandatory, of course. There is no one type of suicidal person. But is is very common. I think maybe for a couple of reasons, but I'm speculating:

1. Seeing yourself as worthless makes the thought of suicide more appealing. If you hate yourself you devalue yourself enough that you don't feel like you're throwing much away by ending it. In fact, living with yourself may be painful. And you may want to lash out and hurt yourself that way.
2. If you're isolated and alone you're probably more likely to not feel valued by others (correlating with low self-esteem) and you're less likely to have a strong social support system. A strong social support system is one of the best predictors of NOT killing yourself.
3. A lot of neglect, abuse, etc. causes both suicidal behaviour and low self-esteem. If someone was abused by their parents or whatever, it can often make you suicidal and usually one of the first things abusers destroy is your self-esteem.
4. The people most likely to end up suicidal are outcasts from society. Because those people for whom the system works, are more likely to live lives that are full of meaning, happiness, etc. Whereas those for whom the system doesn't work are more likely to end up here. If the system rejects you it isn't only likely to make your life worse, but also your self-esteem. Because our self-esteem is at least partially dependent on how others see and react to us as well as how well we conform to societal ideas of success, etc. So the worse you fit into the system, the worse your outcomes and your self-esteem are both likely to be.
5. On top of that feeling depressed can often cause people to devalue themselves to cope, I think.

So I think it's really that low self-esteem helps increase the chance of suicide, depression often takes a toll on self-esteem and at the same time suicide is correlated with other factors which also correlate with low self-esteem (like abuse and social isolation).
2, 3 and 4 apply to me. My self-esteem wasn't destroyed though; I don't have low self-esteem. I'm socially isolated out of my own volition; I have no desire to participate in society. I'm isolated and alone by choice. I'm an outcast because I have ASD. I don't fit into the system at all. The system doesn't work for me and it rejected me, but that just makes me hate it instead of hating myself.
 
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Kit1

Enlightened
Oct 24, 2023
1,029
Abandoned at birth, abused in every way possible by so many people throughout my childhood, made to eat out of bins, humiliation, degradation, homelessness as a lone underage teenagers, worked hard and made a reasonable life to be knocked down again, reached out to medical team for support and was treated like dirt ("too complex" etc). Killed off even before I entered this world and feel like I am only good for one thing.
 
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PolishPanda46

PolishPanda46

Chill man
Mar 23, 2024
42
I think it's mainly life experiences, if you look at people who have high self esteem or are very confident, they're like that because they've seen themselves overcome and achieve things. So in return they think something of themselves and feel good about themselves, for people with low self esteem it's usually the opposite.
 

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