Discussion Why do people instantly try to stop someone who says they're suicidal

[kunikuzushi]

Why do so many people instantly try to stop someone who says they're suicidal without spending even 5 minutes to try to understand their situation? It's like a fire they need to put out instantly, a thought they need to knock out of our minds no matter what. But why? Why do they try so desperately to make you see that "life is worth living" and that "suicide is never the answer"? Are they trying to tell themselves because they're also suffering and can't let anyone break their narrative that "things get better" and "everything will be ok in the end"? If someone else kills themself does it shatter their illusion that all painful situations can be resolved? I just don't get why people get so excited to shush a suicidal person.

 

[CocoToxBase]

It's naturally installed into our brains to want to help others feel better. Unless they are trained in mental health such as a psychiatrist then the vast majority of society don't actually understand what we go through and they think they can help. Some people want to understand the suicidal person whereas others just want that person to be fixed there and then. It's a hard situation

 

[astr4]

i think they really can't cope with the reality that sometimes life is not worth living. and if they acknowledged that you or i are entitled to die they might have to start questioning if their own lives are really all that worth living or if they're also miserable cogs in the machine, yk?

 

[lamargue]

people don't want to be held accountable for another person's death. most people have ingrained in them some general protocol for dealing with the suicidal person, just as most people vaguely know how to give CPR. it's pure reflex.

 

[rozeske]

Most people aren't suicidal so they can't even comprehend how someone would wish to take theirs, hence why the shock and the trying to talk you out of it. I think you need to have some degree of suicidality to begin to understand or at the very least be a pro-choice not to go into an automatic "saviour" mode up on receiving such declaration.

 

[KillingPain267]

Two reasons:

1. They get trauma when confronted with death (since everyone learns that death is inevitable some time as a child but then suppresses it. It's the same if you tell someone will die soon, people respond with "don't say that!" as if not saying it makes them immortal.
2. They want to play the hero savior of life (to brag of themselves) but don't know how or what else to say (since they themselves have suppressed the thought of death long ago)

Suicide preventionists are actually very selfish

 

[Need2Leave]

I think It's a natural reaction to stop someone from committing suicide?Idk. Personally I could never sit and watch someone attempt suicide even though I am suicidal and want to die myself.

 

[mya_]

Hi! I think one of the many reasons can be because they're family and they want them in their lives because they love that person, even tho said person is not enjoying life anymore and it sucks. I'm talking from experience here :(

 

[derpyderpins]

Hi! I think one of the many reasons can be because they're family and they want them in their lives because they love that person, even tho said person is not enjoying life anymore and it sucks. I'm talking from experience here :(

It's a little sad that although others gave valid answers you were the first one who pointed to the fact that we have bonds with each other and don't want to lose the people we care about. Shows how alone people on here feel.

 

[Infinite Solipsist]

I think It's a natural reaction to stop someone from committing suicide?Idk. Personally I could never sit and watch someone attempt suicide even though I am suicidal and want to die myself.

I could see myself sitting and do nothing under extreme circumstances like if the person has an inoperable brain tumor or something else equally horrifying. Otherwise, you could probably catch a criminal charge depending on the circumstances.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Imo just heavily programmed to act that way.

Imo most adult humans aren't even fully aware they and everyone will die anyway

Also most humans don't know a human is just the same cell duplicated 30 trillion times. a human starts off as a fertilized egg a single cell a zygote. A zygote is a single eukaryotic cell as was the first eukaryotic cell that evolved around 2 billion years ago.

 

[Cress]

Because standard protocol for suicidal ideation is to immediately call the authorities. This prevents anyone from actually dealing with the complex and Immediately difficult and painful issues of suicide. Ironically even the authorities that will show you up to bring you to the hospital and inevitably put you in a room alone by yourself will be engaging in passing the buck so to speak. When you get hospitalized they say it's no substitute for actual treatment on the outside and they're just trying to immediately keep you From hurting yourself. Once you get outside and get into psychiatry and therapy they are all too ready to send you back to hospitalization. It's just constant passing of responsibility.

No family member or representative wants to be responsible for your death or legally liable. Hence the safest option is to immediately shout fire like you said and ironically have police and firefighters escort you to the hospital Where they can lock you in a room it thoroughly extinguish all of your desires to catch the bus.

 

[astr4]

also wanna add that i think that's the extent of their empathy, what they're capable of offering. they can only imagine how they would feel about your actions with their own values system overlaid on top. they would rather see the life bleed out of you slowly day after day than have to sit with something that might make them uncomfortable! if you live, you suffer, and they would rather see you suffer than be uncomfortable mourning you.

 

[4everHeartBroken]

Honestly, I just asked myself this question yesterday. Why do I care so much about someone I don't even know here just because a complete stranger wants to die? I definitely don't want this person to suffer any more, but I have to admit, I have an urge to not want them to CTB. I'm not religious. I have no idea why I become so concerned over complete strangers on here when they seem "ready". I feel somewhat guilty for having these feelings of wanting to save someone who doesn't want to be here. I don't want to prolong their suffering. I think having too much empathy can be quite painful too. I hate it. I feel like I feel everything too much, so when someone really wants to die, I start questioning my own beliefs. Why do I care so much? I have no clue. I just want all the pain and suffering in this world to STOP ALREADY! I wish all of us human beings on this planet could just help each other to be our happiness selves… but that definitely sounds like a fantasy world because not all humans are kind to each other. My stomach aches daily for this truly sad and painful world we are forced to live in.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

Ultimately, I feel this happens because there aren't many examples of people demonstrating a pro-choice stance. This makes the pro-life default stronger. I'd like to recommend this recent article as a nice example how this is gradually changing:

Supporting the Suicidal No Matter What

Holding body autonomy, dignity, and grief all at once.

drdevonprice.substack.com

 

[lacrimosa]

Because if they didn't, they could be an accomplice in some countries. Also, they don't want to feel guilty or shameful if they didn't try to stop them. Furthermore, it's human nature to try and help others whom are suffering. I know some on here don't want to believe that trying to stop someone from CTB is a good thing... but they are just trying to help or do what's right in their eyes. Maybe there is hope for those who are suicidal. Forcing hospitalization on them isn't the answer but who knows, maybe there are pieces of the puzzle that haven't been discovered yet... I know there's no hope for me but I can't speak for everyone.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

Because they are thinking of how they would feel, not about what that person feels/knows/has experienced and will continue to experience if they are forced to continue living when they are tired of life.

 

[UKscotty]

I think if someone is talking about it, they are asking for help. CTB is by its nature the last resort, trying to help someone get better is the moral thing to do.

Someone serious won't tell anyone, they will just CTB to avoid the risk of any intervention.

 

[Doorframe_dead]

Because they are thinking about themselves and how they'd feel

 

[BojackHorseman]

I absolutely detest how most people's immediate response is "NO! YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT!" instead of " Oh my, I am so sorry your struggling. What's making you feel that way? Is there anything you would like me to do to help, or just listen?".

 

[Artemisia]

1 - don't want to be confronted with their own mortality
2 - don't want to actually have to put some work into listening and, god forbid, do things to ease the other person's life

 

[ijustwishtodie]

They want you to suffer and wage slave just like how they are. The fact that they don't care about our suffering but merely care about whether we stay alive or not is an indication of this. A lot of people here have said that normies stop suicidal people because they care about them suffering but that isn't true at all as their priority is only to make you stay alive, not to take care of your suffering. If another person with the same amount of suffering but who isn't suicidal asked normies for help, they would get ridiculed and ignored. This just goes to show that they don't care about our suffering.

Also, I agree with the other explanation presented here that normies stop suicidal people from dying so that they can cope with their existence. Acknowledging that people die due to life itself will make them extremely shocked and question the system hence why they cope by seeing suicide as immoral

 

[Edpal247]

Most people aren't suicidal so they can't even comprehend how someone would wish to take theirs, hence why the shock and the trying to talk you out of it. I think you need to have some degree of suicidality to begin to understand or at the very least be a pro-choice not to go into an automatic "saviour" mode up on receiving such declaration.

I didn't have ANY degree of suicidality until I was 62.5 I'm 64 now. Hoping I can ctb in a month or two.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

It's a little sad that although others gave valid answers you were the first one who pointed to the fact that we have bonds with each other and don't want to lose the people we care about. Shows how alone people on here feel.

This makes me very sad as well. It seems a lot of people here stick around for their family and loved ones and don't want to leave them behind or cause them pain, it's very selfless and admirable. But then others, like me, truly have nobody and can count the number of people who would even look in our direction on one hand. Which is not me being dramatic, but just an honest assessment of how few people give a rat's ass about me.

It's very isolating when a lot of the reasons why people say you shouldn't ctb relate to sticking around for others, but when you're born and raised in an abusive and neglectful family, and the only ones who cared about you have passed on, I feel like there is absolutely no reason for me to tolerate the amount of stuff that I do in the day to day. The unfortunate reality is that some people just aren't loved as much as we seek it out and want it.

 

[Consquences]

People, is a rather large term. If they know you (and enjoy your company) then they'd want to continue experiencing life with you. If they are older then it could be then trying to lend advice that helped them out could help you out as well. More factors such as what exactly are your problems and is it realistic for these problems to be resolved-that answer will naturally be context dependent.
Others have stated the obvious that death is quite spooky for us. Are bodies are designed to keep us alive, but we all know that it is coming. Shoving mortality in somebody's face will likely get a kneejerk survival response.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

If they knew and said nothing, they would feel (or would potentially be seen as) partially responsible, even if that's not your intention or the reality

 

[okuhvtuji]

Why do so many people instantly try to stop someone who says they're suicidal without spending even 5 minutes to try to understand their situation? It's like a fire they need to put out instantly, a thought they need to knock out of our minds no matter what. But why? Why do they try so desperately to make you see that "life is worth living" and that "suicide is never the answer"? Are they trying to tell themselves because they're also suffering and can't let anyone break their narrative that "things get better" and "everything will be ok in the end"? If someone else kills themself does it shatter their illusion that all painful situations can be resolved? I just don't get why people get so excited to shush a suicidal person.

I think ppl don't want to talk about things that make them uncomfortable. Simple as that. I don't think they truly care about other people

 

[indefinitesleep]

because if youre close with them they value and love you and wouldnt want to imagine a reality where youre gone, on the global scale death makes people uncomfortable for many who enjoy life so much so they invent bullshit like heaven to cling on to their lives, they view suicidal people through their privileged lens where they think its irrational to ctb

 

[avalonisburning]

The regrettable slurry of evolutionary habits baked into our DNA, subjective philosophy and/or religious values informed by early-age programming by our educational system and culture, and systemic pressure that risks the witness becoming a social pariah or a criminal if they're found out to have not done enough.

 

[Worndown]

It is that little person in their head yelling and clamping it's hands over it's ears.
You just made every fight or flight alarm they have go off all at once. They choose flight.
A rare person will talk to you. Most of them are here.