Discussion Why do people have children?

[Fadeaway_bankz]

Why do people always have children? I know the reasons are selfish but I wanted to get other people's opinions.

 

[exciccil]

Why do people always have children? I know the reasons are selfish but I wanted to get other people's opinions.

I wanted children with the person I loved the most. Our reasonings were ultimately as selfish as it gets. We just wanted them, but we knew it was cruel to have them without being financially stable. A lot of our problems originated from financial issues, or added to the burden. This was a way of morally justifying it. Ultimately, I think it's just human biochemistry playing it's role.

 

[Wolf Girl]

Accidents and animal instinct, mostly. I used to want a baby so bad and my reasons were not entirely selfish; it was my deep desire to show a being unconditional love and give them everything I didn't have growing up. That desire was driven by my deep-seated maternal instincts.

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

Ever since I was little, I wanted to adopt. I never saw myself being pregnant. I had a desire to lead and protect.

 

[Infinitespace_]

Why do people always have children? I know the reasons are selfish but I wanted to get other people's opinions.

Because It gives them a life long distraction, a life long occupation. They can forget themselves completely

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Why do people always have children? I know the reasons are selfish but I wanted to get other people's opinions.

I wanna have children at some point cus I wanna be able to love and care for something the way I wasn't as a child. It would take a lot of work getting myself to a mental state where I could care for a child. So I probably won't have any at all, or if I'm lucky enough to achieve that I'll adopt in the future.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Delusions about the value of life, not fully comprehending the badness of suffering, and an unfounded conviction that their child will definitely have a good life. These aren't necessarily the main reasons, but they are enabling ones. At least, this was the case for my parents. Their intentions were good, but, as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

Why do people always have children? I know the reasons are selfish but I wanted to get other people's opinions.

Because of a lack of control, lack of forethought, lack of concern/hey billions of people have had kids, etc. Some fools allow others to pressure/bully/nag them into having kids while others see it as a way to secure a steady stream of child support. All I could think of were stupid and selfish reasons

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Accidents and animal instinct, mostly. I used to want a baby so bad and my reasons were not entirely selfish; it was my deep desire to show a being unconditional love and give them everything I didn't have growing up. That desire was driven by my deep-seated maternal instincts.

That is still a selfish reason. You wanted to force existence into someone for the sake of using them to deal with your own issues. That's the thing about procreation. It can never be desired without it inherently being selfish and involving the dehumanization of the potential offspring to be.

 

[Anonymousa]

I would say it would always be somewhat selfish to procreate a child as before they are born they never had any desire to exist as they can't feel anything and so can't be disadvantaged as they can't feel anything. I would say its preferable to adopt for these reasons as you are taking care of already existing being that needs that instead of forcing your wants onto someone new by creating them.

Tho reasons for people having children can be cus of social expectations or wanting to care for something or to use them to fill a feeling of purpose in life or to have more of a reason for their partner to stay with them or natural instincts or it being an unintentionally thing from sex or to create some sort of legacy, etc.

 

[EgoBrained]

As long as there are orphaned children on this planet, procreation remains an act of selfishness

 

[OvercastingClouds]

It's usually for selfish reasons, especially now. Tbh I don't really think there is a reason that technically isn't inherently selfish, some more than others.

I think the most annoying and irritating reasons I often see is because they want someone to take care of them when they're old and wanting to pass on their bloodline/"legacy". Oh yeah, those who look down on adopting kids/being with women with kids because "I'm not raising another man's kids" and wanting them to share the same blood as them.

 

[Forever Sleep]

They want to replicate themselves or, their partner. They want to experience that kind of love. It sounds kind on the face of it- they want to give them every opportunity they can and protect them from harm. I find the reality (as I see it) more disturbing though. They bring an utterly helpless being here, knowing it will be utterly dependent on them for a good few years. So- it will very likely end up desperately needing them. I think some people crave that intensity of love/ need. The awful reality is that there are so many threats they simply can't protect them from.

Plus, the tables also turn so that they then become dependent on us. How many actions do people hesitate or refrain from, so as not to upset their parents? Including suicide.

Also, if it were simply about helping an individual to thrive in this world, there would be more people equally keen to adopt. I think it's more that they prefer to put that investment into their own genes. Which I suppose is a natural, biological urge. Not all animals would happily raise another's child. Still, I think the other reality of it is they still want something back. I imagine they hope that having a blood familial bond, there is more chance they will be closer. Plus, repay the debt. Keep them company or, look after them in old age.

I think some also see it as a form of achievement. Even simply being seen as a good parent. But, some seem to try to live vicariously through their children. Even pushing them to succeed in things they failed at.

I actually think my parents did it for the best of reasons. I think my Mum especially had a deep desire to love and raise a child. I wish they'd thought through how it could all likely end up though. Some of the bad stuff was predictable. I think that's the other thing though- I imagine their hormones change to make it all rose tinted. As in- yes, there are problems they may encounter but, with enough love, we'll make it through.

 

[Lost Impact]

reasons range from animalistic instinct, social expectations, to wanting to carry on their family name (as if this matters in current year), women wanting to care and nurture something, not wanting to be alone, having someone take care of them when theyre old. eventually people reach and age where they just want a baby for reasons i'll never understand and have never felt. i have severe tokophobia (fear of pregnancy) and i think wanting that for yourself just to have a baby is insane when adoption is the better choice. a child that already exists and wants to be loved is RIGHT THERE. i never understood the obsession of NEEDING the child to be "biological" to you as if your genes are so great to carry on. i also despise the fact so many have kids to "prove a point" to their own parents to show that THEY can be a better parent, which is selfish. never have a kid for that reason. you're human and you will fail many times.

 

[davidtorez]

As long as there are orphaned children on this planet, procreation remains an act of selfishness

 

[fallingbehind]

Delusion and selfishness

 

[kunikuzushi]

Accidents and animal instinct, mostly. I used to want a baby so bad and my reasons were not entirely selfish; it was my deep desire to show a being unconditional love and give them everything I didn't have growing up. That desire was driven by my deep-seated maternal instincts.

You don't have to bring someone into this world to show unconditional love. You can adopt

 

[Ijustcantanymore]

I have found that most people have kids for a few reasons:

*They are told by society that it's what they are supposed to do (made up milestones)
*Trying to fix or heal a relationship/marriage
*they are afraid of dying and want to leave behind a legacy so they are not forgotten (pitiful)
*they are selfish and a control freak and want something they can control that cannot resist
*They want to make a carbon copy of themselves
*Stupidity

Very rarely do i find parents who have kids because they truly wanted children for the joy of being a parent.

 

[Hangman.]

Considering that Homo sapiens have existed on Earth for nearly 200,000 to 300,000 years, it is evident that the natural human instinct to procreate is extremely strong. In addition to this, children provide significant emotional support, and for poor families, they represent the hope of financial support in the future

 

[wham311]

It's strange I just never really wanted them. I liked my life when I had it. But I know that an alone in this

People want kids because they love each other. The only time I've been interested is when I've really liked the girl.

 

[TBONTB]

Why do people always have children? I know the reasons are selfish but I wanted to get other people's opinions.

Tradition!

 

[FuneralCry]

I see it as just bringing and causing so much suffering, I find it the most terrible dreadful tragedy how this existence was imposed when never suffering at all was perfection, all I want is to never exist ever again and more than anything I wish I never suffered.

If I never existed it'd saved me from so much suffering in this existence I always saw as a mistake, for me only non-existence is positive and I'll just only be at peace once I'm no longer burdened with this torturous existence, all that existing is, is just futile suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and what is so cruel to me is how this dreadful world is so anti-suicide with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what even know this existence was imposed in the first place, all I want is to never suffer again, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering, I'll always see it as an abomination to exist.

 

[sfdwx]

I wanna have children at some point cus I wanna be able to love and care for something the way I wasn't as a child. It would take a lot of work getting myself to a mental state where I could care for a child. So I probably won't have any at all, or if I'm lucky enough to achieve that I'll adopt in the future.

Maybe you are too young to have a child? How old are you?

 

[erik_signe]

As long as there are orphaned children on this planet, procreation remains an act of selfishness

I really wish adoption would be the primary option in society today :( It's just sad to think how much destruction our planet has been experiencing; not to mention many people have yet to acquire their own rights and be free.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Maybe you are too young to have a child? How old are you?

I'm 18

 

[bananaolympus]

Because that what all living organisms are programmed to do to reproduce and survive

 

[fallendevil]

Biological instinct, wanting control of our lives in the form of a "mini me", or companionship or something to continue your heir and take care of you when you're old.

I'm an antinatalist, I'm not too radical about it because I don't really care if I see wealthy and mentally and physically normal/above average people have children bc their futures are set, but I get really angry and resentful when I see impoverished people who are young having children or disabled people. I know it's wrong but, their life is going to be really hard. Maybe I'm not actually an antinatalist but a conditional one I guess.

 

[sfdwx]

I'm 18

So young.Where are you from?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

imo because they think "life is good, sacred a gift".

i think life is the worst function in the universe the only one that causes unending constant unbearable pain, extreme suffering , extreme torture. and all the labor suffering and worry just to exist to be under threat of the most extreme torture. i think life is bad, evil , hell. so i would never have children , i don't even want to exist another minute why would i even get the idea to have children? i would never and i never had any desire to . it's not an instinct imo as the declining birthrates show in many countries.

 

[Alexandra_]

For different reasons. Some want their life to be filled with meaning. Some just don't realize what they're doing. Some have children because others have them. Some want a child to bring happiness. Some because they're lonely. Some just because they accidentally got pregnant. Some want a child to save their marriage. You can go on like this for a long time. But most parents are not fit for this role!