Why do people hate those who kill themselves?

[V0latile]

I don't understand it.

 

[Heart of Ice]

Perhaps a naive, "bluepilled" answer: It's seen as cowardly or weak. Some see it as sinful. Others see it as a waste; perhaps their close relative or friend died to cancer and here you are, killing yourself willingly.

Cynical answer: Many people live boring, meaningless lives. Slaving at a job and going back home to watch politically motivated shows on Netflix. Many people see this as the "only way". Suicide makes them angry, because it is another way. Why should they live their wageslave life when we skip all of that by dying by our own hand?

 

[V0latile]

Perhaps a naive, "bluepilled" answer: It's seen as cowardly or weak. Some see it as sinful. Others see it as a waste; perhaps their close relative or friend died to cancer and here you are, killing yourself willingly.

Cynical answer: Many people live boring, meaningless lives. Slaving at a job and going back home to watch politically motivated shows on Netflix. Many people see this as the "only way". Suicide makes them angry, because it is another way. Why should they live their wageslave life when we skip all of that by dying by our own hand?

Angry from jealousy. Makes sense.

In regard to the first answer, my relative just died from cancer and left behind a family. It's awkward because I want to die now more than ever and it would be seen as worse given the situation.

 

[woxihuanni]

Because we have more middle fingers than they.

 

[hypo666]

I have lived with suicidal ideation for years, I had a bad reaction recently from someone who is meant to be my 'support worker'. His attitude was basically that by killing myself I would be wasting his valuable time and it's pointless as we are all going to die anyway. The disgust on his face was visable. He then proceeded to tell me that some years ago he also considered suicide but now because he had managed to sort his life out I should do the same. I got the impression he hated himself for being what he called 'weak' and a 'time waster' and he therefore hated me. I also got the impression because I had gone further than he had, as he had only thought about it, I made an attempt he was jealous in his own odd way. I think he is in the wrong job as he can't remain professional over suicide because of his own past which he clearly finds embarrassing.

 

[V0latile]

I have lived with suicidal ideation for years, I had a bad reaction recently from someone who is meant to be my 'support worker'. His attitude was basically that by killing myself I would be wasting his valuable time and it's pointless as we are all going to die anyway. The disgust on his face was visable. He then proceeded to tell me that some years ago he also considered suicide but now because he had managed to sort his life out I should do the same. I got the impression he hated himself for being what he called 'weak' and a 'time waster' and he therefore hated me. I also got the impression because I had gone further than he had, as he had only thought about it, I made an attempt he was jealous in his own odd way. I think he is in the wrong job as he can't remain professional over suicide because of his own past which he clearly finds embarrassing.

My dad who took me in attempted suicide decades ago and it didn't work because his other son found him. He has tons of debilitating health problems now and probably wishes he succeeded. Knowing I've succeeded would probably make him angry.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I never met anyone who hated someone for killing themselves. They always feel bad. Was there anything they could have done? This person had so much to live for blah blah blah. In my case nothing can be done. I have a painful incurable disease. So I think when I go people are going to be surprised but they will certainly understand that I didn't want to live as a prisoner trapped in my own body.

 

[V0latile]

I never met anyone who hated someone for killing themselves. They always feel bad. Was there anything they could have done? This person had so much to live for blah blah blah. In my case nothing can be done. I have a painful incurable disease. So I think when I go people are going to be surprised but they will certainly understand that I didn't want to live as a prisoner trapped in my own body.

What's the disease and when did it start?

 

[hypo666]

I never met anyone who hated someone for killing themselves. They always feel bad. Was there anything they could have done? This person had so much to live for blah blah blah. In my case nothing can be done. I have a painful incurable disease. So I think when I go people are going to be surprised but they will certainly understand that I didn't want to live as a prisoner trapped in my own body.

I hope I don't trigger anyone when I say this, but those that say'was there anything they could have done' seem to distance themselves when the person who killed themselves either told others how miserable they were or who took various actions that would suggest someone wasn't well. Such as putting their affairs in order or behaving in a way that was out of character {flying off the handle} etc etc.

Before my attempt ,my own parents stopped phoning me when I told them how unwell I was, and I sent them repeated emails begging them to phone. It was only when a police officer and then a social worker made contact with them from eastbourne police station that my mum decided to talk to me again. She told me they had decided to stop contact because I refused to talk to the GP about my worsening mental health. If they were that concerned why didn't they phone the police to do a welfare check? Instead they just stopped talking to me. It took 4 more months completely isolated before I made the attempt I did and I got into a shit load of trouble, as even though I didn't go to prison, my home and name is now flagged by the police because weapons were found in my property and I threatened a noisy neighbour. He had been blasting bass music almost 24/7 and when I asked him to turn it down he swore and threatened me with a beating off his mates. So I went back to my home apparently took my clothes off picked up a machete and knocked on his door again, he slammed the door shit himself and called the cops.I then threw some clothes on and ran off to beachy head eastbourne.

 

[AngelOfDeath01]

I guess because they don't want to feel guilty after someone suicides. They feel somehow they could have prevented it. But what i don't understand is that they rather keeping you suffering, living an empty life than dying with dignity and at peace. They do have questionable morals.

 

[Ritter]

There isn't a clear-cut answer for everyone but I can say that people get mad at/angry with those who have committed suicide (or attempted to) because it is an extremely painful event for them. There are people that care about and love you, that person who has committed/attempted to CTB and thrown them into a world of grief. Those left may wonder if their love and support wasn't valid, wasn't enough, were they to blame? Could they have done/said things differently?

I've been left behind by my boyfriend, someone I love(d) more than anything, would have done anything for, but did not get the chance, he hid his suffering so well. Even when I could see things were wrong I wasn't let in, wasn't told, I had no clue things were that bad until it was too late. Now I don't hate, nor would I ever hate him for what he did. He asked for forgiveness in his note and I have, I would forgive him anything. But I can tell you it has left me in so much pain, guilt, and deep depression that I am now strongly considering CTB (hence why I joined this website, prepared a will, found a partner to assist with the aftermath, wrote my notes, compiled my financials, verified my life insurance will pay out, etc).

I'm not here to tell anyone not to CTB it would be hypocritical for me to say that when I intent to myself, but I can say that I think there is merit to living for someone else even if your life seems worthless or too painful to continue. I think I can say to at least to try and get help. I am myself, doing everything they say you should after losing my boyfriend (counseling, medication, routine, exercise, etc etc) but in the end nothing will bring him back or fill the void he has left.

I also understand there are those on here that have tried everything, that live with debilitating illness, incurable depression. I don't think it's too much to say to think about how it will affect others because they will have to live with that pain, guilt, and loss for the rest of their lives while you will not and that is why it can cause such strong reactions in others. It is your life, in the end your decision on how you want to live it, or end it.

 

[TAW122]

People are generally selfish and have some sort of connection with another human being, even if it is a stranger. They also tend to have this groupthink mentality that life is precious, is a gift, is a positive imposition, and anything that goes against it (reality of human suffering), they will do everything they can to stop it. It's really messed up and I hate it too. I wished people would be more respectful, accepting of others' bodily autonomy, but I don't see that happening anytime soon, at least not in the US.

Another answer would be that they don't want to feel sadness and want to appear helpful (reiterating what @AngelOfDeath01 said) so they will always have the mindset of every suicide is preventable, regardless of circumstance, reasoning, or what situation the person may be in. It's quite close minded and ignorant to assume that every person who committed suicide are not of sound mind, wishes to live, and/or making a bad decision. Yes, their morality is subjective and oftenly part of a larger society whose morals are set by those in power. Thus, I don't believe that there is such a thing called objective morality, but subjective morality (meaning that our morality is derived from the society in which we live in).

 

[snowman626]

Because of this toxic mentality that life is precious and worth holding in to no matter what. They would see a person with no arms no legs and say "thank god hes alive".

 

[woxihuanni]

Because of this toxic mentality that life is precious and worth holding in to no matter what. They would see a person with no arms no legs and say "thank god hes alive".

They tried to keep alive a guy who was blind, deaf, paralysed and with absolutely no face on the grounds that he might be happy to be alive after he fucking shot his face off.

These are times when you wish there was a hell, and a special part of it for shrinks/doctors (in this case it the shrink who wanted to keep him alive but his doctor was sane enough to let him go. He got trouble for it, though.)

 

[ChristopherWalken]

I hope I don't trigger anyone when I say this, but those that say'was there anything they could have done' seem to distance themselves when the person who killed themselves either told others how miserable they were or who took various actions that would suggest someone wasn't well. Such as putting their affairs in order or behaving in a way that was out of character {flying off the handle} etc etc.

Before my attempt ,my own parents stopped phoning me when I told them how unwell I was, and I sent them repeated emails begging them to phone. It was only when a police officer and then a social worker made contact with them from eastbourne police station that my mum decided to talk to me again. She told me they had decided to stop contact because I refused to talk to the GP about my worsening mental health. If they were that concerned why didn't they phone the police to do a welfare check? Instead they just stopped talking to me. It took 4 more months completely isolated before I made the attempt I did and I got into a shit load of trouble, as even though I didn't go to prison, my home and name is now flagged by the police because weapons were found in my property and I threatened a noisy neighbour. He had been blasting bass music almost 24/7 and when I asked him to turn it down he swore and threatened me with a beating off his mates. So I went back to my home apparently took my clothes off picked up a machete and knocked on his door again, he slammed the door shit himself and called the cops.I then threw some clothes on and ran off to beachy head eastbourne.

Wow your parents did the exact opposite of what they should have. Hope they have come to their senses by now. The more isolated I get the closer I get to death, I feel it just around the corner and I hate being alone anymore.

 

[Haku]

There is so many answers to why people hate people who take their own lives, or not hate the person, but hate suicide itself. The answer that I have at the top of my head, is an answer that corresponds with me, and that is Religion, christianity to be specific. I am not a religious person, I was many years ago though, but what I mean that it corresponds with me is that my mom is a Christian, and she knows that I am going to be ctb pretty soon, but she isnt going to have me committed or anything. She sees suicide as a sin, and that if you take your own life, your probably going to hell, but I'm a 27 year old man, and even though for quite some time she has tried to convince me not to ctb, she knows that I'm not a kid anymore and that she cannot force me to do anything against my will, so that is why she doesnt have me committed, but, it still doesnt stop her from telling me that it's a sin, plus, I am a person with BPD, so she knows she cant win against me in an argument. But also she knows the hell that I have been through for the majority of my life, so even though she doesnt approve of me taking my own life, because of her religion, she understands why I'm going to do it, but she didnt understand at first for quite awhile, until after the many months and long harrowing hours of conversation that I had with her about it. I put this woman through mental hell, not because I wanted to, but because I cared, I might have broke her spirit a bit in the process, witch I hate myself immensely for it, but I wanted her to understand why I was going to do this, and so she will not be heartbroken by my passing for the rest of her life. Sure, maybe she will be heartbroken for a little while, but by me explaining everything to her, I'm hoping she will get over it eventually, I want her to think about like, dam, well as long as he is not suffering anymore, I guess I can be at peace. That is the outcome I am hoping for, plus, if I ctb without telling her, she might start blaming people and things for the decision that I made. Now she knows that i wasnt manipulated by someone, brainwashed, or that the devil's music possessed me to do it, for awhile, she did tell me that, no joke, but yea, religion is the answer that I have for you, because of my experience, but I do know there is many more answers to your question. Sorry for the long comment

 

[Heart of Ice]

People are generally selfish and have some sort of connection with another human being, even if it is a stranger. They also tend to have this groupthink mentality that life is precious, is a gift, is a positive imposition, and anything that goes against it (reality of human suffering), they will do everything they can to stop it. It's really messed up and I hate it too. I wished people would be more respectful, accepting of others' bodily autonomy, but I don't see that happening anytime soon, at least not in the US.

Another answer would be that they don't want to feel sadness and want to appear helpful (reiterating what @AngelOfDeath01 said) so they will always have the mindset of every suicide is preventable, regardless of circumstance, reasoning, or what situation the person may be in. It's quite close minded and ignorant to assume that every person who committed suicide are not of sound mind, wishes to live, and/or making a bad decision. Yes, their morality is subjective and oftenly part of a larger society whose morals are set by those in power. Thus, I don't believe that there is such a thing called objective morality, but subjective morality (meaning that our morality is derived from the society in which we live in).

I'm edgy and I think morality is a useless concept all together, as our actions are predetermined in a deterministic universe.

 

[puppy9]

So they can sleep at night

 

[V0latile]

So they can sleep at night

That's actually really profound.

 

[Umbra]

Because of the stigma around it. Society puts stigmas on many things for no reason including suicide.

 

[Empty Smile]

I'm hated by many now, so I doubt my suicide is going to trigger any emotion from anyone.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Because it exposes an intolerable truth and strips away their delusions.

 

[Starseedchip]

I think the real reason is actually much deeper. Western society hates death. We shun it and tuck it away, even when it's from natural causes. People are terrified of their own mortality and suicide makes them confront it. Most people are so scared of death that the idea of someone choosing it is something they can't comprehend. It's a subject they don't want to confront.

 

[Rachel74]

They don't hate them they just can't understand why someone would take their own life.
Before anyone says a word I'm no pro life but watching 2 people die from terminal cancer who wanted nothing more but to live then there is me who wants to die. That's what people don't get.

 

[trynacbt]

I thought this was true until my mother took her life. Thankfully, after the fact everyone only says positive things about her (because she was a wonderful person), and if they speak about the fact that it was a suicide, they say so only in reference to her pain. Even my dad, who is very religious and believes in destiny, has come to the conclusion that it was bound to happen, if not now then later, because of my mother's condition (she had bipolar). My mother passing away has changed my views on ctb and its aftermath and while I've been witness to the earth shattering pain it causes, I've also seen how people find the strength to go on.

 

[Corraled]

Kurt Cobain killed himself and people idolize him.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Kurt Cobain killed himself and people idolize him.

Everyone loved him but he hated himself.

 

[LittleJem]

I'm edgy and I think morality is a useless concept all together, as our actions are predetermined in a deterministic universe.

Me too. I don't believe in free will at all. Genetics and circumstances - people would always make the same decision in any given moment.

Also, having read various drug trip reports, some people experience everything as happening in one moment if that makes sense - from one perspective, time and space do not exist. It is all a kind of pattern that we are living in, but if you viewed it from above, you'd see it all at the same time.

 

[Quinlor]

Before or after ctb?

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Before or after ctb?

Exactly people aren't hated afterwards. J don't think people who kill themselves are hated much at all.

But as to the question why it makes people uncomfortable and why they want to stop you doing it, I think some good answers have been given:

1) It reminds them of their own mortality and strips away delusions

2) if they are close to you they don't want to go through grief (they don't want you to die before they die)

3) they might be dependant on you (financially, emotionally)

4) for parents especially it can mean that they failed you or that bringing you into existence was a mistake

5) it devalues all the things they are so invested in (shows them the futility of the game, see point 1)

6) as for society at large, see point 3) and jt shines a bad light on the society/ family you live(d) in

7) their salary might depend on preventing people from killing themselves (nurses, doctors, psychiatrists, policemen/ -women, etc)

8) a special delusion would be religious ones, actually believing you will go to hell if you kill yourself