I have been reading news about hangings and suicides, and I noticed a pattern there....
12 year old girl hanged herself, 8 year old hanged himself, a middle aged woman hanged herself, an inmate hanged himself, a drunkard hanged himself and the list goes on....
None of them are rope experts or medically trained doctors easily able to locate carotids etc
Why do these people, despite the lack of carefully planned preparations, succeed easily and often at CTB?
I don't think they read this forum or several suicide books or binge on many resources...
They don't ponder the type of rope, knot type, length, technique
They don't spend time finding carotids, practicing partial
These people just... Succeed? Almost on instinct? On total impulse?
I know that not every attempt is a success and media reports only the successful attempts, but still, many succeed without obsessive and overly complex preparations....
I feel a bit jealous...
Hope it doesn't sound too terrible, it's a tragedy, but when I read news how a 13 year old girl or boy hanged themselves or some random inmate did so using bed sheets from a window bars, I feel like a dumbass, I feel inferior, I feel... So lacking. Like, a 12 year old girl without binging on tons of threads on this forum managed to do it, YET I can't?
I know CTB isn't a race, but when you meticulously study all possible suicide resources, browse actual suicide videos and pics online from gore websites, bother about every little detail, and then you see these people, especially children and teens, succeed without that much bothering, I just feel like crying, I don't know...
I feel like I suck so much that I can't even kill myself :(