Venting why do i still miss him?

[Yume Nikki]

ive done pretty much everything. engaging in hobbies, doing art, talking to people etc. yet i feel like im not getting better, my ex still lingers at the back of my head 5 months later. i know it could probably be because of the group issues with scheduling but everything is just stressing me out. i just want to move on. i want to be happy again. and every now and then i still mourn the relationship i lost, knowing that my future will never be the same without him, how we will never go to greece together like he promised...

can something good happen in my life for once...? even if it's just one small thing?

please let me be happy

 

[timf]

If you demonstrate the qualities with others that you would like to see in someone else (kindness, humor, thoughtfulness, compassion) you might increase the chances of attracting someone similar. You may find that your feelings of loss diminish. This in itself can be beneficial.

 

[RushedJudgement]

As someone mourning a partner for over a year now, I think I might be able to say something regarding your situation.

The pain will probably not stop quickly, that's an unfortunate fact. They've been a part of your life, and that's a very deep connection, one that inevitably leaves emotional scars as it is severed. Everything will feel bland, lifeless, sometimes, and at other times you may feel a little better and ask yourself why you do, given that he's still gone. All of those feelings are valid, and whatever you're experiencing is valid. Don't ever feel bad for being hung up on him, or missing him, or feeling bad for what is lost. All of those feelings are not wrong, and you deserve to approach this in the way that you feel comfortable with.

For me, it has been helping to slowly approach the pain that sits within me about it, instead of trying to avoid it what I've been doing before. I don't know whether that's something that happened for you, but I may as well offer that as a possible solution to try. On the other hand, a therapy where you talk about the relationship with a professional might help. They are trained to properly approach and listen to your situation, perhaps even guiding you a little.

Ultimately, I wish you all the best! I know this pain is a terrible thing, an awful thing, and it is my hope that you'll manage to work with it.

 

[twilightSparriw]

If you demonstrate the qualities with others that you would like to see in someone else (kindness, humor, thoughtfulness, compassion) you might increase the chances of attracting someone similar. You may find that your feelings of loss diminish. This in itself can be beneficial.

Beautiful reply!

 

[devils~advocate]

I'd agree with others saying, if you think you need it, that getting therapy might help.
Don't do what I did. I was married for 5 yrs (together 2 yrs prior) and it ended because my spouse found someone else.
There were signs beforehand, but they left abruptly for this other person. It was devastating to me...I wanted to ctb then.
I did go to therapy but I just couldnt seem to let it all go. I thought about it all the time.
It took me about 3 years to think better. That was 21 years ago.
Find fun in your life, make new friends, get a lot of hobbies, force yourself to do new things. take a class, etc etc
Do anything that will take up your mental energy.

Don't do like I did...letting it be something you think about all the time
This experience left a mental scar in my mind that I will never recover.
Its one of the reasons for my own ctb now.