Why do I feel guilty.

[itsnowornever]

I have never been more serious about ctb. I've been planning my escape for a few days Joe and After struggling for years now, enough is enough but why do I feel so guilty about leaving my family? I know they'd be better of without me but I can't shake off these feelings. I can't be the only one to feel like this can I?! This is the only way forward after all.

 

[R_N]

Others might say it is the si trick to keep you alive or something along the lines (which I sometimes agree with), but could it be also that you feel protective of your family and don't want to leave them alone? Or maybe just don't want them to grieve you.

As we live we get attached to this life and things/beings around us. It is understandable to feel how you do and perfectly normal.

It is up to you to make your choices. Or they are made for us... either way, there is also the fact that one day everyone loses things they care about regardless of what they themself want.

This life is just a mess if you ask me. And that includes death as well. Everything seems so uneccessary.

 

[Mayonaise]

You feel guilty because you love your family, simple as that. That's not something you can change and there's nothing wrong with it.
Family is one of the strongest bond a human can experience. Of course, some people don't care because they've been treated horribly by their families.
Maybe suicide is easier for them, but - luckily or unluckily - it seems neither of us belong to that group.
I can't be sure, but I honestly doubt that your family would be better off without you. These thoughts are often the product of depression, I've experienced them myself, but I realized that they're not the truth, at least not in my case.
If you're anything like me, your rational part tells you that ending it all is the most logic thing to do, while your emotional part is tormented with guilt for wanting to leave your loved ones behind.
Welcome to the community, you're not the only one feeling like this.

 

[unabletocope]

It's good to feel guilt about something as strong and significant as this, its a reflection that you're taking it seriously in a way that is beyond you and not just a case of being a selfish narcissist. Guilt is just an emotion

 

[UKscotty]

Because you are human. Only psychopaths don't care about other people.

No matter how depressed we get, we still care and feel for those left behind.

It just shows you still care. As for getting over it, once our pain is too much to handle anymore, I think its a balance.

 

[sincerely dead]

Catching the bus is a major deal, despite what it may feel like in the moment. It's easy to go numb moments before wanting to end your life, but I think it's honorable that you aren't. The guilt definitely sounds like a self-preservation tool; a way for your survival instinct to get a word in. I can tell your heart is filled with love, and concern for others. This is just playing devil's advocate, but is there a way for you to connect with your family + loved ones and tell them how you are feeling? Perhaps their support could change things for you even in the slightest bit, and you can put suicide off to the side for now.

Guilt is such a natural emotion when it comes to this stuff and I am not saying it's rightfully placed. But perhaps there's a reason it's eating at you, and maybe you could stick around to figure out why that is. You might find that your family and friends are way more supportive than you ever thought, and life could look up? What do you have to lose?

And if they aren't supportive, then hopefully the guilt lifts, and you can think about catching the bus without feeling bad.