Discussion Why did you attempt? Was your attempt impulsive or premeditated? Were you glad you failed? How long were you suicidal prior?

[myopybyproxy]

I chose the timeframes arbitrarily. @YourNeighbor mentioned that the majority of suicide attempts are made impulsively and the people who survive are glad they did - which personally sounds like bullshit. so here is a poll which I hypothesise will prove them wrong, at least from this subsection of the population.

by deliberation, I mean the process of obtaining your method and having it available; ie from the moment you decide what you will do until the moment you actually do it. even if the decision as to when is made on the spur of the moment, as long as the preparation and forethought were there for the specified timeframe, for the purposes of this poll it will be considered premeditated.

if you made more than one attempt, choose the first one, the most recent, or whichever is most common (eg if three of your four attempts were after a month of planning and one was impulsive you would go with the majority) timeframe for you regarding that process.

note that I am only asking about attempts that have occurred in the past, not prospective attempts which you plan to execute in the coming days / weeks etc.

--> mine was after several weeks, forget exactly how long but not more than a month nor less than two weeks.
--> the reasons included feeling lonely, hopeless about my future and truly being unable to see one for myself aside from a massive blank - I was continually surprised I had lived as long as I had being as how I assumed I would somehow be dead by 15 although I hadn't planned anything back then. in addition to social incompatibility, uncertainty about career path due to societal bullshit as well as personal lack of skill, lack of closeness or real connection, gender dysphoria, feeling out of control due to my eating disorder, intense academic pressures, conflict with religious family and being forced to pretend 24/7. oh, and also society sucked - systemic corruption all over - and I didn't want to be a part of it nor could I foresee it changing for the better in my lifetime anyhow.
--> I most definitely was NOT glad. I was fucking pissed. the psychiatrist in hospital said he was disappointed that I hadn't expressed gratitude for being saved. LMAO
--> I had wanted to stop existing or disappear since about 10. when I was 14, that solidified into wanting to die. I had written a will before realising that minors and those of unsound mind aren't taken seriously. I then destroyed it out of paranoia. hazy specific ideas of suicide at 15 but dismissed them due to lack of confidence in the method and fear of failure with permanent damage, never did much research til 16 which was when I attempted. I'm now almost 19 and guess what? I still wish I had succeeded then, and I am determined to succeed this time.

 

[YourNeighbor]

I chose the timeframes arbitrarily. @YourNeighbor mentioned that the majority of suicide attempts are made impulsively and the people who survive are glad they did - which personally sounds like bullshit. so here is a poll which I hypothesise will prove them wrong, at least from this subsection of the population.

by deliberation, I mean the process of obtaining your method and having it available; ie from the moment you decide what you will do until the moment you actually do it. even if the decision as to when is made on the spur of the moment, as long as the preparation and forethought were there for the specified timeframe, for the purposes of this poll it will be considered premeditated.

if you made more than one attempt, choose the first one, the most recent, or whichever is most common (eg if three of your four attempts were after a month of planning and one was impulsive you would go with the majority) timeframe for you regarding that process.

mine was after several weeks, forget exactly how long but not more than a month nor less than two weeks.

note that I am only asking about attempts that have occurred in the past, not prospective attempts which you plan to execute in the coming days / weeks etc.

To be clear, I didn't make any claim about "most" attempts.

Second, any poll done here is not going to be scientific, as this forum is not a representative sample of suicide attempters. Selection bias and all that. You'll find much more representative studies on the NIH.

Finally, having a plan doesn't mean one has a long-term desire to die. My point on the other thread was not that many/most attempts are spur-of-the-moment impulses, but rather that they come up in relatively temporary contexts, not lifelong conditions. Finally, up to 25% of attempts may be considered impulsive depending on the study, which in my view weighs against Nembutal-on-demand-for-all.

Behind impulsive suicide attempts: indications from a community study - PubMed

The presence of suicidal feelings prior to an attempt constitutes an opportunity for intervention also in impulsive attempters. However, the identification of impulsiveness requires more research efforts.

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

I'll bite.

Mine was well-planned, including the mathematics to make sure my gas of choice would fill the space completely and still be strong enough to do the job. I would say one to two weeks at most.

It was interrupted by a blizzard. I wound up in the hospital. I was there for just under a week and my primary thought was that I was relieved to be protected from myself.

Like may others who suffer from a mental illness, my planning and attempt seemed to happen in a trance-like state. I felt very little during that time.

 

[Crazy4u]

Great topic. Would like to hear more from members who have attempted. I don't agree that ctb is an impulsive decision for most people. It is a myth promotrd by mental health professionals to lock people up and benefit financially from it

 

[YourNeighbor]

Great topic. Would like to hear more from members who have attempted. I don't agree that ctb is an impulsive decision for most people. It is a myth promotrd by mental health professionals to lock people up and benefit financially from it

No one here said most suicide attempts are an impulse, just to be clear. OP mischaracterizes the comment s/he is addressing (which is linked in any case, so you can confirm).

Also, let's be honest. Impulsive attempters who failed and are glad to have failed are unlikely to be here to share their stories. If we want to know how many attempts are impulsive, the best way to get that information is to go to peer reviewed scientific studies, not from anecdotal stories or unscientific polls on this site.

 

[tieiwi]

If I do ctb it will be out of impulse. Only because in any other moment my SI kicks in and my mind starts convincing me maybe my life isn't so shitty. I have to ctb in a moment where I'm angry or really sad like I'm having a breakdown or something. Otherwise I'll fall for my minds tricks and regret it later.

 

[myopybyproxy]

To be clear, I didn't make any claim about "most" attempts.

Second, any poll done here is not going to be scientific, as this forum is not a representative sample of suicide attempters. Selection bias and all that. You'll find much more representative studies on the NIH.

Finally, having a plan doesn't mean one has a long-term desire to die. My point on the other thread was not that many/most attempts are spur-of-the-moment impulses, but rather that they come up in relatively temporary contexts, not lifelong conditions. Finally, up to 25% of attempts may be considered impulsive depending on the study, which in my view weighs against Nembutal-on-demand-for-all.

Behind impulsive suicide attempts: indications from a community study - PubMed

The presence of suicidal feelings prior to an attempt constitutes an opportunity for intervention also in impulsive attempters. However, the identification of impulsiveness requires more research efforts.

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

we know that many attempts are in fact impulsive and undertaken by people with no long term desire to die, and who are glad to have failed in their attempt. It's probably a good thing most attempted suicides fail, and I'm not sure we should be trying to boost the success rates -- many individuals who might otherwise actually want to--and could--live would die based on a temporary mental state.

mea culpa, you said 'many'. I might incorporate into my poll include the length of time someone has been suicidal, were they glad they had failed, and the reason/s for or context in which they attempted - as impulsivity addresses only one aspect of your statement.

I never claimed this poll would be scientific or representative of the suicidal population as a whole. I explicitly specified that the answers from this forum are likely to be of a particular sort due to the niche sample here.

what I meant by plan is that it was relatively less impulsive than simply seeing a knife or bottle of pills and slashing one's wrists or downing the bottle on sight. it involved some degree of forethought. as mentioned earlier, long term desire to die is another variable to investigate and should not be conflated with planning.

If I do ctb it will be out of impulse. Only because in any other moment my SI kicks in and my mind starts convincing me maybe my life isn't so shitty. I have to ctb in a moment where I'm angry or really sad like I'm having a breakdown or something. Otherwise I'll fall for my minds tricks and regret it later.

will the method be impulsive or only the decision to employ it? I discuss the distinction in the original post.

interesting relationship between impulsivity and regret or 'glad to have survived'ism - ie, if you don't do it impulsively, you will regret it - throws a wrench into the common myth that impulsive attempts are almost always or often regretted. but note my first question.

 

[YourNeighbor]

mea culpa, you said 'many'. I might incorporate into my poll include the length of time someone has been suicidal, were they glad they had failed, and the reason/s for or context in which they attempted - as impulsivity addresses only one aspect of your statement.

My statement did not make any claim about *impulsive* attempts. I just mentioned that *many* (not necessarily most) attempts are the result of temporary/short term desires to die (not solely spur of the moment impulses). So you mischaracterized both premises I mentioned, which are in any case both borne out in countless surveys/studies on suicide. They're not hard to find, I shared two that took me a minute to find.

I'm not going to respond anymore to straw men, but wanted to clarify as I don't like to be misrepresented.

 

[Crazy4u]

the votes show 29% impulsive ctb. Higher than expected but makes sense

 

[YourNeighbor]

the votes show 29% impulsive ctb. Higher than expected but makes sense

We can be more precise. 80% of attempts in the poll followed 6 months or less of consideration.

 

[Depressed_Kettle]

Like may others who suffer from a mental illness, my planning and attempt seemed to happen in a trance-like state. I felt very little during that time.

That's like my whole life. I read recently that people who have ADHD often act as if driven by a motor and feel inside they are driven by a motor. I'm not 100% what that's supposed to mean but my understanding was they feel like they are on auto-pilot just reacting to things like a motor reacts in a machine. I have ADHD so maybe that's why I feel like that.

 

[dustyfurcollector]

I'll bite.

Mine was well-planned, including the mathematics to make sure my gas of choice would fill the space completely and still be strong enough to do the job. I would say one to two weeks at most.

It was interrupted by a blizzard. I wound up in the hospital. I was there for just under a week and my primary thought was that I was relieved to be protected from myself.

Like may others who suffer from a mental illness, my planning and attempt seemed to happen in a trance-like state. I felt very little during that time.

Hi. BP here. I totally get that trance. I'm an old woman and I've been trying since I was 14 or 15. I've never been grateful for being saved. The only reason I'm still here is bc I tried lots of different ways and the cool times I wasn't "miraculously" discovered, I just slept for 3 days. No physical consequences. I hate it. But now I know how.

Thank you. All of you.

 

[Dot]

Sui gesturs r also cnsdrd attmpts in sttstcs - thre r 1000s of 'attmpts' whre 17 y/o ppl tke 16 parctmls & cll it an attmpt

Thre wll b lts of implsve ctbs & attmpts bt mst ppl cme 2 sasu 2 rsearch & pln

 

[myopybyproxy]

Sui gesturs r also cnsdrd attmpts in sttstcs - thre r 1000s of 'attmpts' whre 17 y/o ppl tke 16 parctmls & cll it an attmpt

Thre wll b lts of implsve ctbs & attmpts bt mst ppl cme 2 sasu 2 rsearch & pln

yep, the conflation of suicidal gestures and a genuine attempt to be dead irks me tremendously.