Venting Why can’t it be easier

[sheleftme1]

Truly why is life like this… wtf is the point? I really didn't want to be suicidal but wtf do you expect when spit keeps happening to break me down. I believe in God but if he wanted me to be ok then why this? I can't even end my life easily… all I wanted was to freaking marry the woman of my dreams. To use this freaking degree that I put my heart and soul into obtaining after going through life without so many resources I bust my a to get things to make sense and be better. I worked and listened and did the work… therapy… meds… working out… working…. Saving money. How was I supposed to be better? I tried and I messed up everything all the time every single time I tried. This woman I gave my heart to and again I'm nothing. I can't take this crap man… people die going to the mall and I can't escape this torture. I'll never get to freaking hug her again… and she doesn't feel anything. She is ok and I'm going crazy and lost my entire life… I have a criminal record now and I've never even gotten a freaking referral. I've battled every effing obstacle and I'm tired of not winning one freaking thing that I need to make life worth it. For once I had the feeling of wanting to be here and now I'm condemned for feeling that way. I'm ready to die man… I can't take this… I pray for death

 

[unnormal9]

wtf is the point?

When this is asked, there is none. I've searched high and low over decades, it's not there. It's finding something that doesn't exist. Pure delusion thinking it does.

 

[sheleftme1]

When this is asked, there is none. I've searched high and low over decades, it's not there. It's finding something that doesn't exist. Pure delusion thinking it does.

I just want it to be easier… even if it's just easier to end it.

 

[FuneralCry]

This world truly is such a hellish place to me, and it's so horrible how endless amounts of suffering exist here, it really sounds so tiring what you've had to endure, I don't believe that there could ever be a God, life is just an unfortunate and tragic consequence of evolution where people suffer meaninglessly with no real reason behind it other than chance so cruelly determining everything. It certainly should be easier to finally leave this world.

 

[Valentino]

Its so difficult to keep going like this, my hope is running out

 

[Darkover]

there is no point i mean everything is meaningless nothing really matters here not one fucking thing