Venting Why can I not bring myself to CTB?

[Escargot]

I've had multiple attempts to CTB, partial hangings, attempted drowning, self-mutilation. But everytime it seems that some inner part of me refuses to allow me to CTB, despite my intense desires to do so.

Only a few days ago I had a setup ready and tested for a partial hanging in my closet tested and ready to go, but then my friends got in my head and convinced me to tear it down.

On the one hand, I really can't stand being here and desperately want to CTB, but then on the other I get in my own head and can't bring myself to.

Why can I not just be committed to this?

 

[AbsentMindedHuman]

Another broken part of the human condition. We were born into this world and are raise to do everything to stay safe. You are going against you nature. It would be so much easier if you have a safe and reliable and peaceful way to do it from the government aswell but thats never going to happen. So instead you are stuck with this. It's hard. It's not fair.

 

[vadim]

Pesky survival instincts. Same reason why so many humans feel the urge to procreate, even when it seemingly goes against their best interests as individuals: underlying biological drive to ensure the survival of the species that unfortunately often overrides the conclusions we come to through conscious, detached reasoning.

 

[tiffany]

There is always tomorrow. This is a final decision that you need to be sure of.

 

[martinso67]

Pesky survival instincts. Same reason why so many humans feel the urge to procreate, even when it seemingly goes against their best interests as individuals: underlying biological drive to ensure the survival of the species that unfortunately often overrides the conclusions we come to through conscious, detached reasoning.

The urge to procreate is overcome by lowering your libido through the right medication. Also that desire fades when you away when you get in your midlife age (40+)

 

[lordfungington]

i hope you find peace wherever you are. i'm still too cowardly to ctb.

 

[vadim]

The urge to procreate is overcome by lowering your libido through the right medication. Also that desire fades when you away when you get in your midlife age (40+)

I wouldn't know because thankfully I am immune to that one and have never felt the desire ^_^. You wouldn't happen to know of any methods of overcoming survival instincts though, would you?