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Why are you suicidal?
Thread starterGorge_5155
Start date
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This might sound pretty stupid but these are the reasons I'm suicidal:
1. I don't want to go to college or get a job, both seem so miserable, I've never went to college, but still, I don't want to do assignments and any time I've had a job I've hated it.
2. I hate being unemployed as much as I do being employed. I hate feeling like a leech and I hate not having my own money.
3. I don't live alone and I have no privacy. It's degrading and I'm afraid I'll have to live with someone for my entire life due to my laziness and lack of motivation.
I relate a lot to your reasons Gorge, but another reason for me is because it doesnt seem like my life will ever get better, so I ask: What's the point in wanting to live it? Its been 20 years of my life now and I have no achievements, little milestones, and no hope. I'll always be a mentally unstable, unloveable loser.
1. I find the world an incredibly terrifying place. Mostly because of people. I've been bullied, groomed, mildly assaulted...
2a. I have autism and it makes me feel like I'll always be on the other side of a thick glass pane. Unconnected.
2b. I will never be able to make friends. My brain just isn't wired for that, as much as I'd like it.
3. I feel like I've experienced most things in life to a satisfying extent. Love, loss, travel, education, work, food etc.
4. I'm mentally exhausted and don't think it will ever change now that I'm well into my adult years.
I'm still hopeful, but with every year and every breakdown that hope gets smaller and smaller.
I have never been good enough. Worse than that is I cannot accept the fact and it matters to me.
I cannot even find a job. Long-term unemployment has killed all my excitement.
I rarely seem to find deep connection. And when I do, it fades away before I can truly enjoy it...
To fill that void inside, I listen to music. I read. I watch movies. I still feel empty inside.
I am tired of desperately trying to gain approval of other people. Why can't I just be me no matter how much it sucks?
There is no future for me. Well, a good one I mean. All my past irresponsible decisions have led to a life of suffering no one can fix. I want to experience the warm arms of death rather than continue living in this hellhole where not a single person truly cares for me.
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