Why are you suicidal ? (main reason - poll)

[Lycan]

Why are you suicidal ? Thanks for your answers

I've been suicidal since I was a child. I've been sick my whole Life. I was a transplacental Lyme case, and I've got an autoimmune disease called Pandas. I'm in so much pain, but that's nothing compared to the hell that is my mind. I have constant, Horrible, intrusive thoughts and Germ/Fecal Phobia and other symptoms caused by my severe OCD. I can't function, I can't escape. Things just keep getting worse, not better. I just want it to end.

 

[Zyntkalla]

Mine is learning disability when I was younger. And it really bothered me because I couldn't keep up. And I really wanted to, and it really frustrated me. Then when I hit about twelve or thirteen. I ended up having epilepsy. And that made it even worse. Ended up having surgery to fix the correction, and for about 10 years, and then I came back about a year and a 1/2 ago.

 

[kopebaldy]

Because I'm a waste of oxygen who is a dead weight to everyone around me lol.
If I'm not such a coward I'd have killed myself decades ago.

 

[pinataheart]

Honestly it's a little bit of almost everything… I've seen enough out of life, and trying to mask my severe depression id starting to become unsustainable

 

[TransientEternal]

Because nothing feels fulfilling. The more life goes on the more problems just stack up while I already don't care about life. Life goes on and I just feel a sense of loss that keeps rising. I am apathetic and I do not understand myself.

 

[just_a_guy]

1. Existence is a joke and makes no sense to me.
2. Depression since I was 12.
3. My father relinquished custody of me when I was 6 in order to dodge alimony payments. He didn't do the same for my brother or sister, only me (for some reason).
4. My stepfather was in and out of my life, and he was mentally and verbally abusive.
5. By the time I was an adult, I had lived in 14 different places so consistency was a myth.
6. I was mostly separated from my brother and sister as we were shipped off to live with different family members.
7. I've lost all my friends either by pushing them away due to my self-hate, depression, or social anxiety, or because they were just using me.
8. Various health issues.
9. ADHD.
10. Anxiety.
11. Trouble sleeping.
12. Constant suicidal thoughts.

Looks like I have a theme for every month. Yay me!

 

[RadiantNumber]

Cause my life sucks

 

[PlasticLife]

I hate my parents. They don't care about me. I am a failure. I have no future. There is no hope for me. I don't have any friends. No one cares if I live or die, mostly people would just be shocked rather than be sad.

 

[unluckysadness]

Chronic pain and disability no treatments

Me too... Shitty neuromuscular disease and many other issues. That's why valium is my best friend (it helps for muscles spasms ans anxiety too). I wish you peace for your mind and your body. let's hope science or AI will find some treatments, but maybe too late for us :-(

I'm not sure if you meant to enable multiple choices on the poll. I picked three (Mental Health, Loneliness, & Trauma) but, really, the latter two fall under the umbrella of the former so my sole answer, if the poll wasn't multi-choice, would be "Mental Health" in general for this reason.

For me, those three answers I ticked off pretty much form a vicious cycle. First, I was abused growing up and therefore grew up with trauma which severely affected my ability to form healthy connections with other people or even just act "normal" around others. Naturally, this leads to conflict and rejection which then turns to loneliness: not only worsening my mental health but also denying me a support network for recovery. Conflict with others can also be traumatic in of itself; this additonal trauma, and my worsening mental health, then makes me more prone to interpersonal conflict in the future and starts the cycle all over again.

After a few runs of this cycle by the time I turned 10, it's no wonder that my suicidal ideation began when I was around that age.

exactly same as me. harrassment at school (started when i was 10 in a boarding school), and then it was worse because of high anxiety, agoraphobias and many troubles. so i can say i have suicidal ideations since i was 10. i'm now 30+ years later and my life was a nightmare. let's hope we'll have a good death and peace

I've been suicidal since I was a child. I've been sick my whole Life. I was a transplacental Lyme case, and I've got an autoimmune disease called Pandas. I'm in so much pain, but that's nothing compared to the hell that is my mind. I have constant, Horrible, intrusive thoughts and Germ/Fecal Phobia and other symptoms caused by my severe OCD. I can't function, I can't escape. Things just keep getting worse, not better. I just want it to end.

I have OCD too and many phobias (because of multiple traumas). good luck to you my friend. i know what it is to feel trapped

 

[derekWest]

For me, it's the climate crisis. I can't even look at the weather without wanting to kill myself. It's almost surreal to me, the fact that others aren't suicidal about such a hopeless scenario. The world is collapsing around me, and I see no other option than the crumpled up bus ticket in my hand.

Yes, I'm agree with you. But it take times to see consequences... it less visble than lack of money.

For me, it was climate crisis but also loneliness.
I manage to mitigate these problems temporarily thank to new connections (friends and hookups). And I accept also that the future will be quite awful because of climate change.
I will ctb when it will be really awful for me. So maybe in 10 years, I don't know...

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Conflicted thoughts. I have a strong desire to die - for various and multiple reasons - and this has been a wish for many years. Though there are also certain goals that I want to reach, and the desire to die makes me think that I will be "missing out" on attaining them; this is just one example of a conflict that I am having, but there are more which cannot be listed.

My thought process is trapped in a loop, so I am still here.

 

[SomedayorNexttime]

I accepted I won't be happy and that I suck as a human being, and I can't wait to get off this floating rock.