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caffeine

caffeine

Member
Jun 21, 2018
22
This is a forum for people who wish to die, yet obviously you need to be alive in order to post here. I am curious: what is your reason for continuing to live this long?

Are you still unsure about ending your life? Are you waiting for a loved one to pass first? Are you struggling to find the courage to end it? Do you have some kind of bucket list you're trying to complete before checking out?
 
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M

millefeui

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2018
1,035
I am not unsure of anything, but I am not killing myself as long as my dog is alive.
 
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AntiLifeEric

AntiLifeEric

Student
Jun 20, 2018
145
I'm just waiting till I've got the means not to fuck it up or get caught in the act.
 
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G

givenup

Member
Jun 20, 2018
8
struggling with courage mostly. Im jealous of those that have!
 
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RainAndSadness

RainAndSadness

Administrator
Jun 12, 2018
2,094
I'm currently waiting for my N to arrive. That's it really.
 
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D

Deleted member 847

Guest
Tomorrow I'll get my rope don't worry
 
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AntiLifeEric

AntiLifeEric

Student
Jun 20, 2018
145
Lack of determination isn't a problem for me, but I don't want to discuss my plans too much in a public forum.
 
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MiserableBastard1995

MiserableBastard1995

Experienced
Mar 17, 2018
291
A bucket list. I'll be fucked if life's gonna take that away, too.
 
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chronicpainnomore

chronicpainnomore

Not Circling the Drain Anymore
May 31, 2018
310
Hope that I can find a doctor who will give me pain meds. That's all I need. The pain relief I had for 13 years. If that doesn't happen soon, I'm out.
 
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Azure

Azure

Little Chemist
Jun 13, 2018
133
I want to give my family a happy summer to compensate for what I'm doing. After that it'll prob be less than a month til I ctb.
 
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Lucas

Lucas

Member
May 26, 2018
81
I have to sort my stuff, write my wills and notes.
 
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Rocky M

Rocky M

I'm A Monster
Jun 20, 2018
213
I just don't have a good plan put in place. I came here to get help on how I should die. I don't have a date in mind either, but that can be arranged fairly quickly once I have the method.
 
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Sasha

Sasha

Member
Jun 13, 2018
95
I'm going to leave under a week, im just unsure of what method to use.
 
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guessilldie

guessilldie

Member
Jun 17, 2018
23
Was "chilling" in the last month. My time is this sunday. Thanks for asking :) . I only lived this long because I wasnt sure . I reached a point when there isnt any option. And Im glad
 
Last edited:
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L

Life sucks

Visionary
Apr 18, 2018
2,136
I'm still planning and thinking instead of rushing but then I'll reach the point of no time left. And Tbh time is fast and I'm not doing anything because of other problems
 
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I

I want to end it

Arcanist
Apr 29, 2018
475
because getting the bitcoin for n is proving harder than i thought. also because i live with my parents which makes it difficult to ctb and not get caught.
 
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M

MAIO

Elementalist
Apr 8, 2018
841
This is a forum for people who wish to die, yet obviously you need to be alive in order to post here. I am curious: what is your reason for continuing to live this long?

Are you still unsure about ending your life? Are you waiting for a loved one to pass first? Are you struggling to find the courage to end it? Do you have some kind of bucket list you're trying to complete before checking out?

It's take alot of effort to overpower the strongest instinct; survival. Reguardlessof what people claim, most of the people here are still alive becuase of that instinct, not becuase of logical reasons. It's easy to live stay where you are than actually kill yourself in almost evrey case.
 
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Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
Fear, weakness & laziness, of course. Nothing more to say really. It more than speaks for itself and, plus, I've gone over it a dozen times before already. No need to beat a dead horse, as they say. Not to mention, I'm honestly getting quite sick of reminding myself how pathetic I am. And when talking about my inability to commit suicide, the self-disgust is impossible to ignore. It's all so tiresome.
 
Last edited:
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zatoichi

zatoichi

Member
Jun 20, 2018
31
My time is long overdue. I deserve to die. Just don't have the courage and honor to make that final thing and finish with it. I think I'm gonna hang around until I spend my last option. This is my last year.
 
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T

Tiburcio

Guest
That shit of survival instinct annoys me constantly keeping me attached here.
 
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Samuel

Samuel

Wise
Apr 25, 2018
243
Fear mostly. I think I might stick around for years more. I dont have to work. I'm afraid to take the next step and get rope or N. Plus I don't have the cash for either.
 
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ArtoriasWolf

ArtoriasWolf

FBI agent
Jun 7, 2018
12
Send multiple hitmen after me
 
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AntiLifeEric

AntiLifeEric

Student
Jun 20, 2018
145
Fear mostly. I think I might stick around for years more. I dont have to work. I'm afraid to take the next step and get rope or N. Plus I don't have the cash for either.
I'm un-becoming a NEET just so I can buy the stuff that I need without anyone else finding out. That's a consideration.
 
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G

guildford91rs

Member
Jun 22, 2018
47
I'm still trying to figure out a way to minimise the pain that it'll cause to my bf before I go. I know he's been suicidal in the past, but he's on antidepressants now so not sure whether to talk to him about my plans in the hope that he'll understand/ accept it or to just go ahead and do it.
 
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N

NeedPeace

Member
Jun 19, 2018
5
Only because am still searching for the right method. I am 100% sure I want out. The sooner the better, but planning it is best so I won't regret anything
 
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R

ReleaseMe

I know it's over And it never really began
May 26, 2018
120
Because of my continuosly vanishing hope for a better life, I guess.. and, maybe, cowardry
 
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LookMomImFlying

LookMomImFlying

Member
Apr 23, 2018
73
I ask myself this same question every day. Mostly I want to get rid of everything I own (burn it all) and wipe most of my digital footprint so I basically leave no trace; like I never existed. I also just want to die and want nobody to notice, which is realistic because I'm such a loner. I quit my job a few weeks ago after trying to turn things around and actually try and be happy in this life. Those would have been the only people to notice. That job was a big part of the misery, on top of the addictions, the loneliness, the bad decisions I've made throughout life, the trauma from past incidents that won't go away, etc.

Someone mentioned the survival instinct too. I'm going to run out of money eventually, which means running out of food, no shelter, etc. Hopefully that will push me over the edge because there is absolutely no reason for me to be here. This is just psychotically crazy that I'm still here. Yesterday, I literally stared at a wall for hours, used the bathroom a few times, and then laid in bed staring at the ceiling for more hours. There was a three day stretch last week I only got out of bed to use the bathroom and drink water.

Humanity is beyond fucked up; this world is beyond fucked up. I just want out. Don't even care what "death" is. Anything is better than this.
 
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Matt

Matt

Member
Jun 20, 2018
5
Preparing for my second trip to japan for 3 months.Once Im completely out of money, which will take awhile. Then Ill be ready to die.
 
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Kogoruhn

Kogoruhn

Student
May 20, 2018
109
I'm still researching methods. I was thinking about SN but i'm having trouble obtaining it where i live. Also the problem that i live with my mom and brother.
 
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