Maybe that is a naive question. I am only a layman take my words with a grain of salt.
Personally I feel the need to kill myself when I reach my limit. I am a law-abiding citizen but it seems like assisted suicide is almost impossible for me. I thought about a lot of methods. I am not sure when exactly I will have to kill myself I try to postpone it as long as possible. I have the feeling I have to balance two things. The risk of becoming a vegetable for the rest of my life potentially with excruciating pain forever or to break the law. Not all methods are at the same crime level. Here is what I mean. Personally I want to kill myself with SN and not N. There are two reasons for that. It is easier available for me money is one reason for my suicide and I think the punishment for buying N is way higher in my country.
I think it is pretty cynical that I have to feel like a criminal when I want to die. Life was incredible unfair and torturous to me and as a cherry at the top I have to die like a criminal without dignity. (hide my plans, fears of punishment and risk for permanent damage)
The reason for the thread was the following. I read in my country the train driver can sue the person who survives after jumping in front of the train when he gets traumatized. I can understand the perspective of the train driver. But I feel sick when I see how suicidal people get treated. I will be completely with my back at the wall when I do it and all what the society does is threating me with more punishments. I often thought well dying by jumping in front of a train is for me not dying with dignity but maybe if it is my last resort. And then I learn I can even get into legal trouble with such a brutal and cruel method.
So many more illegal methods. Many prescriptive drugs if you buy them illegally. With CO method you could accidentally kill someone (something I fear a lot especially if it is a loved one) and this could led to huge legal trouble. Car crash can in many cases lead to legal troubles. Everything that endangers other people. Jumping and surviving and accidentally hurting another person.
Here are my laymen thoughts why this is like that. I think the states want to reduce the suicide numbers. Making methods like SN or N illegal should scare people not to purchase it. Though personally I think it is pretty cruel for people like me. There were court trials where people begged for N or got in huge legal trouble for importing it. Assisted suicide is according to the highest German court in many cases legal but N is still illegal because the politicians dislike the court ruling. This sickens me. I am forced into illegal actions when I want to die peacefully and secure. Moreover they probably consider such prescriptive medication as dangerous to other people. Though I don't consider this a good argument if the person only wants to use it for their own death.
I could imagine they want that people who are less determined get discouraged. However I think at least for me my last seconds on earth could be way more relaxing and in peace if I had not to fear all the potential troubles I could get into with acting on my own. I am an extremely anxious person and I am so scared to fuck it up and ruin my life even more. These people don't know which insane more pain they are doing on people like me. These people should feel embarrassed and ashamed for that. I am also very scared to use this website. My fears eat my alive and just make it even worse. The psychiatrists did not take me serious when I wanted to talk with them about assisted suicide. The last one only stuttered "well that is impossible" despite the fact it is not illegal where I live. I am now suicidal since a decade and noone wants to even consider to help me to end this living nightmare. I am playing according to the rules in many instances. Tried so much therapy. so much medication, so many different ways to get better. Still way too many people insist no matter how hard you try if you are mentally ill suicide is strictly prohibited for you. I want to give life a shot even more than one. Though everyone has a limit and it is just cruel to force people to play the lottery whether it really gets better after more than a decade of this torture. My considerations are consistent and have not changed. I try to recover made many steps etc. However my illness usually proceeds in cycle and I am just unable to deal with this insane pain if it returns again. I am so scared of the day when I cannot run away of my problems any longer because I know my problems are extremely difficult to solve. It is cruel not to give me a way out in a dignified way when my attempt to get a halfway decent life quality backfires.
All the potential scenarios which are way worse than just death scare the shit out of me. I don't know I should stop the rambling. I am ruminating as always way too much.
Personally I feel the need to kill myself when I reach my limit. I am a law-abiding citizen but it seems like assisted suicide is almost impossible for me. I thought about a lot of methods. I am not sure when exactly I will have to kill myself I try to postpone it as long as possible. I have the feeling I have to balance two things. The risk of becoming a vegetable for the rest of my life potentially with excruciating pain forever or to break the law. Not all methods are at the same crime level. Here is what I mean. Personally I want to kill myself with SN and not N. There are two reasons for that. It is easier available for me money is one reason for my suicide and I think the punishment for buying N is way higher in my country.
I think it is pretty cynical that I have to feel like a criminal when I want to die. Life was incredible unfair and torturous to me and as a cherry at the top I have to die like a criminal without dignity. (hide my plans, fears of punishment and risk for permanent damage)
The reason for the thread was the following. I read in my country the train driver can sue the person who survives after jumping in front of the train when he gets traumatized. I can understand the perspective of the train driver. But I feel sick when I see how suicidal people get treated. I will be completely with my back at the wall when I do it and all what the society does is threating me with more punishments. I often thought well dying by jumping in front of a train is for me not dying with dignity but maybe if it is my last resort. And then I learn I can even get into legal trouble with such a brutal and cruel method.
So many more illegal methods. Many prescriptive drugs if you buy them illegally. With CO method you could accidentally kill someone (something I fear a lot especially if it is a loved one) and this could led to huge legal trouble. Car crash can in many cases lead to legal troubles. Everything that endangers other people. Jumping and surviving and accidentally hurting another person.
Here are my laymen thoughts why this is like that. I think the states want to reduce the suicide numbers. Making methods like SN or N illegal should scare people not to purchase it. Though personally I think it is pretty cruel for people like me. There were court trials where people begged for N or got in huge legal trouble for importing it. Assisted suicide is according to the highest German court in many cases legal but N is still illegal because the politicians dislike the court ruling. This sickens me. I am forced into illegal actions when I want to die peacefully and secure. Moreover they probably consider such prescriptive medication as dangerous to other people. Though I don't consider this a good argument if the person only wants to use it for their own death.
I could imagine they want that people who are less determined get discouraged. However I think at least for me my last seconds on earth could be way more relaxing and in peace if I had not to fear all the potential troubles I could get into with acting on my own. I am an extremely anxious person and I am so scared to fuck it up and ruin my life even more. These people don't know which insane more pain they are doing on people like me. These people should feel embarrassed and ashamed for that. I am also very scared to use this website. My fears eat my alive and just make it even worse. The psychiatrists did not take me serious when I wanted to talk with them about assisted suicide. The last one only stuttered "well that is impossible" despite the fact it is not illegal where I live. I am now suicidal since a decade and noone wants to even consider to help me to end this living nightmare. I am playing according to the rules in many instances. Tried so much therapy. so much medication, so many different ways to get better. Still way too many people insist no matter how hard you try if you are mentally ill suicide is strictly prohibited for you. I want to give life a shot even more than one. Though everyone has a limit and it is just cruel to force people to play the lottery whether it really gets better after more than a decade of this torture. My considerations are consistent and have not changed. I try to recover made many steps etc. However my illness usually proceeds in cycle and I am just unable to deal with this insane pain if it returns again. I am so scared of the day when I cannot run away of my problems any longer because I know my problems are extremely difficult to solve. It is cruel not to give me a way out in a dignified way when my attempt to get a halfway decent life quality backfires.
All the potential scenarios which are way worse than just death scare the shit out of me. I don't know I should stop the rambling. I am ruminating as always way too much.
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