Discussion Why are people uncomfortable with taller woman/shorter man relationships?

[nigelhernandez]

I've heard a lot of men say they wouldn't date a woman taller than them and women say they wouldn't date a shorter guy. As a guy, I've never understood this. I'm fine with dating taller or shorter (though not extremely but that's not prejudice, mainly practicality). I'm 5ft 5in and would date a woman as short as 5ft 2in and date a woman as high as 5ft 8in.

 

[Mr2005]

Because they care too much what others think. This might be the only reason they're in the relationship they're in at all and why it's destined to go wrong because they hardly know each other

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I think if a guy doesn't want to date a taller woman, it's because they have some insecurities where they feel they need to be taller in order to be "a man". I had a female friend who was around 5"9 who went on a date and the guy, who was of a similar height, got very upset that she wore heels.

As someone who is 5"2, I don't think I'd want to be with someone who was shorter than me, whether they're a guy or a girl. I need someone to help me reach stuff on the top shelf. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who I'd consider to be too tall either. Although at the end of the day, height isn't the most important thing in a partner.

 

[Georgii]

Me and my boyfriend are mostly the same height ,little to no difference .
If I wear heels he does get insecure but usually ends up joking and saying I turned into an amazonian woman .
We both have our insecurities we can't help , we usually mock eachother because it's our way of dealing with them.

 

[Dripping]

Once I dated a Russian girl, we were in the same mood and everything was going well. Then she said she'd never be involved in anything with a man so little higher than her... I was very confused.

 

[puppy9]

. I need someone to help me reach stuff on the top shelf.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

View attachment 47676

Perfect. Just what I need lol

 

[Lupgevif]

Because humans are dumb and proud, they see height as a sign of prowess, so being with a taller woman means you are "the weak man", or if you are with a short guy "you are protecting the one who should be protecting you". All this, of course, to heteronormative couples and people filled with those backwards patriarchal belief, I don't think like that.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

I think it's about attraction. I think dating and being in a relationship are very different. I wouldn't date a woman that is taller than me because I don't find it attractive. I think it should be treated as preference rather than an assault on archaic values. Don't get me wrong it is a ridiculous notion in general, but policing preference is a foolish exercise to begin with.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

People follow the herd mentality and care too much about their image. I have asked men this because they saw my pic and said "your not tall right" some just genuinely like their woman to be smaller because it's all they have known or seen, some it's attraction reasons (lots of men I met are more attracted to petite women) some want to feel more manly and protective and some have insecurities about their height that's magnified by a taller woman.

It's just like any "unconventional" relationship..people will talk shit but end then end all that matters is your happy and being treated good

 

[karaboudjan]

People can be really insecure about their height. I'm pretty tall and have to admit to a preference for guys being taller than me, but I'd happily date a shorter guy as long as he wasn't insecure about it. I do feel sorry for shorter guys who have a hard time dating because of their height.

 

[Lupgevif]

People can be really insecure about their height. I'm pretty tall and have to admit to a preference for guys being taller than me, but I'd happily date a shorter guy as long as he wasn't insecure about it. I do feel sorry for shorter guys who have a hard time dating because of their height.

Why would you only date a shorter guy as long as he's confident about his height if his height is not a problem to you in the first place?

 

[AJ95]

I think it's social convention, it's hard to go against something that so many people see as the norm.

Personally I wouldn't mind dating a guy a few inches shorter than me, and I have serious issues finding a guy willing to date me since I'm 6'1 (184cm) tall.

So very, very tall.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Why would you only date a shorter guy as long as he's confident about his height if his height is not a problem to you in the first place?

I think that the insecurity could be a problem. I was friends with someone who went on a date with a guy of a similar height to her. She wore heels to the date and he got annoyed at her because he was insecure and hated that she was a lot taller.

 

[grungeCat]

I appreciate these guys as finding a woman who is taller than a man and he still manages to make her fall in love with him is hardly an impossible challenge :D Some guys are comfortable with taller woman - the girls mainly don't want to be in such a relationship. It's coded within woman nature - being shorter is evoluntionarily associated with being weaker and no woman wants a boyfriend weaker than her. Natural selection.

 

[karaboudjan]

Why would you only date a shorter guy as long as he's confident about his height if his height is not a problem to you in the first place?

Well we all have some small insecurities, but if they become too pervasive then they can spoil a relationship.

 

[grungeCat]

@Lupigevif Oh shoot, you are right! I have just corrected it. Thanks for pointing out!

 

[k75]

Yeah, I've never really understood that. A lot of girls insist on tall guys, and I've always thought that was silly. It seems shallow and limiting. From a purely physical standpoint, I think it's kind of nice being with shorter guys because I'm short and it's a good fit. But your height doesn't change who you are, so I don't see why it matters that much.

 

[nigelhernandez]

I think it's about attraction. I think dating and being in a relationship are very different. I wouldn't date a woman that is taller than me because I don't find it attractive. I think it should be treated as preference rather than an assault on archaic values. Don't get me wrong it is a ridiculous notion in general, but policing preference is a foolish exercise to begin with.

Can I ask why you're not attracted to them?

 

[Marchioness]

I'm average height but anytime I've dated shorter guys, I'm tired of hearing them whine about me wearing heels. I also don't like really, really tall guys. Anything past 6' 2" is really frightening to me, dunno why.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I'm average height but anytime I've dated shorter guys, I'm tired of hearing them whine about me wearing heels. I also don't like really, really tall guys. Anything past 6' 2" is really frightening to me, dunno why.

Same, I don't like it when they're too tall. Its kinda intimidating and for me, it's weird having such a huge height difference.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

Can I ask why you're not attracted to them?

Sure. I have a traditional male ego. I like to feel like a man when I'm in a relationship. I recognize the nonsense of that, which is why it doesn't extend past simple physical ideals and allow myself this one preference of being taller than my partner. I certainly don't believe that height plays any role in the definition or balance of a relationship, but I do recognize that at my fundamental core I am just a creature. I am a caveman. I believe that it is folly to ignore our base instincts and it is hubris to believe we are evolved past that at this stage of our evolution. Attraction is difficult to define and impossible to ignore. It simply is what it is, which is a preference. Furthermore, physical size differences play a significant role in sex. Sex is important to me, so I have to take it into consideration.

All that being said, this isn't something that I give much thought on a day to day. I am very much an average man by all accounts and generally speaking, there is rarely much of a height difference between myself and others. Not enough for me to care about anyway. To that end, it isn't something that would stop me engaging with someone that I enjoy and might form a relationship with. I think a lot of people are the same way.

 

[Ghost2211]

If the girl is super tall and the guy short he would get some great boob in face hugs.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

If the girl is super tall and the guy short he would get some great boob in face hugs.

Is someone a little high? Lol

 

[Ghost2211]

Is someone a little high? Lol

Nope, that's just my personality and humor. I tame it a bit for suicide forum lol

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

Im 6'2" and there is nothing more attractive to me than a girl either close to, or taller than myself. However I've never experienced any of the success with women that most people associate with taller guys - it takes more than just height lol.

It means less than you think.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I actually feel worse about the idea of being with a woman who's much shorter than me because I'd probably feel extra awkward if anyone saw it as pedophilic or something like that. I wouldn't mind a taller woman than me though but since I'm at 6'0 that's kind of rare to find especially in the Bay Area where a lot of the men I've seen seem to be shorter too.

 

[MrBlue]

While I've never actually been in a relationship (partially because I'm so short lol) I don't think I'd have any problem dating someone who was taller than me. I know that even if a woman I was theoretically dating was shorter, I'm not exactly gonna fit the whole traditional masculine thing that most women understandably find attractive, so there would be no point in worrying about it if the person I was with didn't.

In fact a taller woman might be more accepting of me the way I am if they're used to be judged for their size. Plus help reaching stuff and being at boob height isn't exactly a disadvantage...

 

[Mm80]

Its not the size of the partner that matters its what you do with them that counts.
I used to go out with a girl who had a wooden leg.
Wed go out dancing, and when i spun her round, she got taller.
Didnt matter one bit. To me, she was the same women id left the house with. Plus i was driving a soft top at the time

I think if a guy doesn't want to date a taller woman, it's because they have some insecurities where they feel they need to be taller in order to be "a man". I had a female friend who was around 5"9 who went on a date and the guy, who was of a similar height, got very upset that she wore heels.

As someone who is 5"2, I don't think I'd want to be with someone who was shorter than me, whether they're a guy or a girl. I need someone to help me reach stuff on the top shelf. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who I'd consider to be too tall either. Although at the end of the day, height isn't the most important thing in a partner.

Dude you need to stop telling people your height or your gonna end up getting doxxed

 

[Myforevercharlie]

A tall guy makes me feel safe. I think it's an instinct from when we still lived in caves. The feeling of protection or protecting.
Part preference also ofcourse, I find tall man more attractive.