Why are drugs the only thing that works

[death becomes her]

Hey guys, I hope this is coherent.

I started using drugs again (GHB) after being sort of sober for about a year. I used to love alcohol but would be in a suicidal despair for about a week after due to the depression that comes after the alcohol fades / hangover. The second after I took the GHB I burst in to tears. Its hard to explain I'm sorry if this doesn't makes sense. I am still suicidal, but a bit less so, maybe I want to give life a chance. But I also feel so strangely at peace about dying so it makes no sense. But I also feel so happy and grateful for the good moments in my life, the small things like friends I no longer talk to becaus I ruined all the friendships with drugs. Too embarrassed to talk to them again .

I really hope I'm not the first one to ever feel this way because I already feel so alone. But maybe also I can help anyone that feels this way to not feel so alone.

And also thank you guys for this community. For the first time I do not feel like a weird freak for having all the thoughts I have being echoed here on this thread. You guys have been the reason I've lasted for a few more weeks, and made these days more bearable.

 

[lifeisbutadream]

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

Hey guys, I hope this is coherent.

I started using drugs again (GHB) after being sort of sober for about a year. I used to love alcohol but would be in a suicidal despair for about a week after due to the depression that comes after the alcohol fades / hangover. The second after I took the GHB I burst in to tears. Its hard to explain I'm sorry if this doesn't makes sense. I am still suicidal, but a bit less so, maybe I want to give life a chance. But I also feel so strangely at peace about dying so it makes no sense. But I also feel so happy and grateful for the good moments in my life, the small things like friends I no longer talk to becaus I ruined all the friendships with drugs. Too embarrassed to talk to them again .

I really hope I'm not the first one to ever feel this way because I already feel so alone. But maybe also I can help anyone that feels this way to not feel so alone.

And also thank you guys for this community. For the first time I do not feel like a weird freak for having all the thoughts I have being echoed here on this thread. You guys have been the reason I've lasted for a few more weeks, and made these days more bearable.

You are not alone here.

 

[limpingtowardfreedom]

Drugs are designed to make sure that drugs are the only thing that works.

 

[death becomes her]

Drugs are designed to make sure that drugs are the only thing that works.

I guess I'm just more curious we (maybe not everyone) live in a world that we can only want to exist (not want to die) ((which is entirely against our biological / evolutional makeup ))) if we take drugs / poison which make us sick. Shouldn't broccoli do this?

And when we do want to die we can't even talk about it or ask for help or will we get locked up?

You are not alone here.

Thank you. When I was happy, I was very accepted and loved by society. Once I got sick, I've been rejected, practically sitting in my bed / room for a year.