I try to be the best I can but still I get nothing but rejections and disdain.
Well, how are your looks? That's the first thing women and men look at, no matter what a good person you are.
If you're considered "ugly" for this society, you can always wear nice clothes and if you have money and a car it helps.
Then, we have the social skills part. Are you shy? Are you too agressive when talking to girls? The key is to be funny and talk casually.
At least that worked for me when I was interesting in flirting.
If you're considered "ugly" for this society, you can always wear nice clothes and if you have money and a car it helps.
Then, we have the social skills part. Are you shy? Are you too agressive when talking to girls? The key is to be funny and talk casually.
At least that worked for me when I was interesting in flirting.
Are you comfortable being more specific about what's going wrong? Do they say something makes them uncomfortable or displeased in some way? Also, where are you meeting them? Are you relying on toxic sources like social media and dating sites?
Well, people(except women) tell me I am good looking, but don't matter what I do, I NEVER can get women's attention. Yeah, I'm shy but since no women look at me that diesn't really matter.
They don't look at me, that's pretty much it. I can't get their attention, probably because I'm unatractive, I'm not their "type" in the first place.
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
What do you mean they don't look at you? Too many guys hang back waiting for women to approach first. The ones who do that always complain they don't have girlfriends or get attention from women. I've been friends with guys like this who are around women they are extremely interested in yet never approach them or speak to them.
I wonder sometimes, since this is actually pretty common, if men who say this are actually making some sort of excuse for something else?
It's like going into a hardware store knowing you need a hammer, but then getting upset that the hammer doesn't jump into your hand and take you to the checkout counter to pay for itself.
Something else is going on here.
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antigone_iris
Wizard
- Oct 25, 2020
- 651
Why do you say you're disgusting? I'm not qualified to give advice or anything, so I'll give some suggestions.
To begin with, I'd say hygiene is an important aspect - clean clothes, hair, teeth etc. Then, I'd say knowing your strengths/talents/passions/hobbies is of tremendous help, because it can help you be more confident and hobbies can be super useful to break the ice. It also depends what woman you're looking for, if you have things in common, if you're vibing, if she likes your jokes, if you like hers etc.
I've recently learned that I'd rather be rejected, so I can move on to someone potentially interested, than being stuck in limbo (ghosted, for example). If you really want to be with someone, don't give up, it might take some time.
Best of luck finding an awesome person
To begin with, I'd say hygiene is an important aspect - clean clothes, hair, teeth etc. Then, I'd say knowing your strengths/talents/passions/hobbies is of tremendous help, because it can help you be more confident and hobbies can be super useful to break the ice. It also depends what woman you're looking for, if you have things in common, if you're vibing, if she likes your jokes, if you like hers etc.
I've recently learned that I'd rather be rejected, so I can move on to someone potentially interested, than being stuck in limbo (ghosted, for example). If you really want to be with someone, don't give up, it might take some time.
Best of luck finding an awesome person
Think about a rope. What are the variables necessary to describe a rope? Its material, the length and the thickness.
What are the variables necessary to describe a man? Eye shape, jaw shape, skin color, height, width, wealth, health etc. You won't get a precise answer unless you ask somebody you know. And then different women could be rejecting you for different reasons. Anyway you can't expect strangers to know, certainly not from the information you provide.
What are the variables necessary to describe a man? Eye shape, jaw shape, skin color, height, width, wealth, health etc. You won't get a precise answer unless you ask somebody you know. And then different women could be rejecting you for different reasons. Anyway you can't expect strangers to know, certainly not from the information you provide.
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
I like how your mind works.OMG
antigone_iris
Wizard
- Oct 25, 2020
- 651
I don't feel comfortable or confidence enough to aproach a girl that didn't even look at me in the first place. I feel like she is not interessed in me and then there's no reason For me to talk to her? Maybe I'm too shy.
That's the conclusion I can take from girls: I'm not interesting, I'm disgustingWhy do you say you're disgusting? I'm not qualified to give advice or anything, so I'll give some suggestions.
To begin with, I'd say hygiene is an important aspect - clean clothes, hair, teeth etc. Then, I'd say knowing your strengths/talents/passions/hobbies is of tremendous help, because it can help you be more confident and hobbies can be super useful to break the ice. It also depends what woman you're looking for, if you have things in common, if you're vibing, if she likes your jokes, if you like hers etc.
I've recently learned that I'd rather be rejected, so I can move on to someone potentially interested, than being stuck in limbo (ghosted, for example). If you really want to be with someone, don't give up, it might take some time.
Best of luck finding an awesome person
Do they hate white guys? I'm starting to think like that. I'm extremely white.
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Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
That's the whole problem. As a female I can tell you that women or at least me, do not usually "look" at guys much if at all.
It is only if one shows some interest in me that I talk to him and look at him.
I had so many delusions that I began to behavior like that, too shy and too depressed, no one wants to be around me.
This is imo the best post that summarizes the situation. You have to be the one to approach women. There are some crazy stats out there, that for every 10-20 rejections, you will get a positive response. Please note that I gave 10-20 as a ballpark figure, I guess it depends on culture.
Women do not approach men partially because there is still the stigma around that and traditional gender roles. In the past few years this has changed, but it also depends on how old you are and what your target "audience's" age is. Again, it also depends on culture.
Women also do not have to approach men because they are more often than not approached by other men who, unlike you, do not care about being rejected.
Personally I believe that this rejection game builds resilience in men and this is why they're more successful in the workplace, whereas women are very sensitive at negative feedback. Just another thought.
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Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
Yes! That's why all white guys are single lonely and do not reproduce! You never see any white guys with women or with children or wives or girlfriends!!!
You come up with basically anything except putting the blame where it belongs, which is on you. Just talk to women.
Expect some rejection and keep on going to the next one.
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A bit if interest might be shown to us approach. I'm so afraid of rejection.
naaras
´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`
- Nov 1, 2020
- 13
I get rejected by guys 24/7 even if I'm not looking. They're major assholes to me for no reason. But I have had a boyfriend before so even if it seems like everyone hates you it isn't true. You'll find someone eventually but be emotionally prepared to get rejected many times.
ZardozOmega
Narcissist Gay NEET-cel
- Mar 4, 2020
- 718
You answered your own question on why women don't approach you. Women can smell lack of confidence and when there's other men out there who are more confident and don't have any hangups about their looks, they go to them. I'm not a pretty boy by any stretch, but somehow got married to someone who didn't care about how her man looks, as long as he wasn't as attractive as her. Don't let your lack of attractiveness be your hangup. Don't let it feed into your personality. Let your other personality shine out, your likes, dislikes, joining the collective norm of people who fancy awesome tv shows and shitty music as topics of discussion.
mooncake
Student
- Aug 7, 2020
- 116
I think a big problem is your fear of rejection. You take the part of approaching someone too seriously. I'm a woman who is also attracted to men, and guys who are overly nervous or even stressed out while talking to, are a red flag to me.
First of all, you got nothing to lose when you're talking to a stranger. They haven't been in your life yet, and they might not ever be. Whatever! Just try to relax, and not take that initial moment to seriously. If they say no, stay respectful, keep it pushing and don't get discouraged.
Second, if you say women hate you, there might be another issue. Rejection doesn't equal hate. It just means, their not into you for whatever reason.
And when it comes to attraction, physical appearance isn't all that counts for most people, but it still important to catch someones attention. Here is the thing though, you might have caught the attention of someone who is just as shy as you, so just politely ask.
What do you mean when you say people, except women, tell you that you're good looking? In what context do other people compliment you?
First of all, you got nothing to lose when you're talking to a stranger. They haven't been in your life yet, and they might not ever be. Whatever! Just try to relax, and not take that initial moment to seriously. If they say no, stay respectful, keep it pushing and don't get discouraged.
Second, if you say women hate you, there might be another issue. Rejection doesn't equal hate. It just means, their not into you for whatever reason.
And when it comes to attraction, physical appearance isn't all that counts for most people, but it still important to catch someones attention. Here is the thing though, you might have caught the attention of someone who is just as shy as you, so just politely ask.
What do you mean when you say people, except women, tell you that you're good looking? In what context do other people compliment you?
bov
Arcanist
- Aug 26, 2020
- 405
Maybe it's not the lack of confidence that's turning us off but the white victimhood?
Lazuli
Member
- Oct 26, 2020
- 17
White guys are hot because not everyday we see one here LOL.
Joke aside, maybe your standards are too high, like limiting yourself to 'blond hotties' for example?
I have a college friend which is like that, will accept no less than what he's set up for. He is still single now and often confides in me about his frustration.
Joke aside, maybe your standards are too high, like limiting yourself to 'blond hotties' for example?
I have a college friend which is like that, will accept no less than what he's set up for. He is still single now and often confides in me about his frustration.
Sometimes people can't find partner because they're conventionally unattractive (especially men), so since we don't know his situation (even if it's his personality, it's related to genetics) I wouldn't put the blame on him entirely. I mean if having given genetics (which are totally out of our control) can be blamed on the person, then yeah. But I wouldn't do that. (Shyness is part our personalities too.)
And actually being too white is not considered as attractive as having a nicely tanned skin (I know a lot about this unfortunately.)
GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
If you want to know, I'd say to ask the women who have turned you down. You could ask them to send you an email with constructive criticism, and of course don't be upset if they don't. If you were to do that, I would advise that you promise them you won't send them a response or ask them out again, that you would just appreciate their constructive criticism if they're willing to offer it.
As a woman, I'd say self-worth probably plays a role. Not narcissism, not abusive, entitled self-adoration, but knowing your own worth, having self-respect. I know that's a tall order, but it improves so many areas in life, not just romantic relationships.
As a woman, I'd say self-worth probably plays a role. Not narcissism, not abusive, entitled self-adoration, but knowing your own worth, having self-respect. I know that's a tall order, but it improves so many areas in life, not just romantic relationships.
woxihuanni
Illuminated
- Aug 19, 2019
- 3,299
We don't like guys who sulk. A woman like me could approach you if she finds yout genetic material worthwhile, but will quickly walk away once she realises you are not there but locked in your own head.
262653
Cluesome
- Apr 5, 2018
- 1,733
The decision making system is malfunctioning? Doesn't work efficient enough? Evolutionarily adaptive dead end. When the shyness and feelings of rejection take over with nothing to compensate. I think it makes sense that not everyone's virus will make it to the next generation. Do you feel bad about not having a gf? Maybe if you'll feel bad enough, then the anticipation of regret for not taking chances will override the fear of rejection. I'm pretty sure women can live with you not approaching them.
Amumu
Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
- Aug 29, 2020
- 2,624
That would explain why guys on SS, who are depressed so that they sulk, find it hard to find a partner.
Try Benzos before talking to girls lol. I suspect they are supposed to be seduction pills.
Then tell what's on your mind, even if it's nonsense spontaneous bullshit. You're an artist. Probably.
Seriously, finding a partner when mental health is catastrophic is difficult.
Which is self-sustaining, because it gets worse when we're single (or in abusive relationships).
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