Venting why am i not lovable?

[user933957]

im not lovable. Nothing about me is good. not my face, personality, nothing. I know that my family is ashamed to introduce me to somebody because of how I look and act. I wish i could change, I truly do. there's no point in life anymore. I'm determined now, I have no friends, nobody to talk about this to. my parents believe im better but I'm tired of this, I wish this could all just end. nothing I do is productive or helpful. why am I like this? I'm not motivated to do anything, everything I do is useless. why can't I just do something that will make people proud or atleast myself proud? why was I born like this? I see people that are beautiful complain about their looks. I could never find somebody that could love me by who I am. and this is just a reason why I want to ctb. there's so much stuff, I know my bio dad hates me. I can tell by how he acts and what he tells me. I'll never be truly happy in this life. I just want this to end, why can't I just be happy and make people around me happy too? I'm always ruining the mood. why am I like this?

 

[UndeadSpectre]

Why do you blame yourself for things you can't control?

 

[Rational man]

Such a sad story..Unfortunately, I sense that love maybe a difficult subject with some of your circle of people. If people tell us that we are unworthy, we question our selfworth. I found this with my family. I eventually disowned them and found some love. I also realised that I wasn't so ugly in mind or body.

 

[user933957]

Why do you blame yourself for things you can't control?

I guess I blame myself since I can't control it. I just don't know what to think.

Such a sad story..Unfortunately, I sense that love maybe a difficult subject with some of your circle of people. If people tell us that we are unworthy, we question our selfworth. I found this with my family. I eventually disowned them and found some love. I also realised that I wasn't so ugly in mind or body.

I hope one day I maybe accept myself if I don't ctb.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

This me as well. I'm the most mediocre looking human you can imagine. I honestly don't see any reason to participate in the social rat race there's nothing for me. I got extremely unlucky in the genetics department. I despise how superficial the world is, sometimes I feel unsure about CBT but the only life for me is as a reclusive hermit (I hate being around people) I hope you find happiness and you're not a failure.

 

[Zegers]

If you don't have a life you like minimally.. i don't see the point to go on.

Best wishes whatever you do.

 

[user933957]

This me as well. I'm the most mediocre looking human you can imagine. I honestly don't see any reason to participate in the social rat race there's nothing for me. I got extremely unlucky in the genetics department. I despise how superficial the world is, sometimes I feel unsure about CBT but the only life for me is as a reclusive hermit (I hate being around people) I hope you find happiness and you're not a failure.

thank you! I also hope you find happiness .

If you don't have a life you like minimally.. i don't see the point to go on.

Best wishes whatever you do.

thank you. I'm still attempting to get the materials I need to ctb.