Discussion Who's the culprit

[StoneBridge]

To what extent are your sufferings / desire to CTB caused by people around you?

 

[Vlad Tepes]

Everything, everybody. But most of all my insane parents. Even if I had been adopted at birth, the genes they gave me would have doomed me. When I say "insane" I don't mean that they have weird habits or whatever, I mean that they're completely deranged and live in their own world. How 2 people can be that mentally ill is still a mystery to me.

 

[TheEndIsPeace]

Almost everything and everyone I'm surrounded by is the cause of my despair. My toxic family and the shitty backwards country in which I currently reside.

 

[AZRAEL600]

I don't want to admit it but it is because of people around me. All of them are religious but I lost my belief in it, I know they will force me to do things which I don't want. All I can do is hope.....

 

[apearl]

I'm the one at fault, but lowkey just the state of late stage capitalism in America is definitely pushing it farther

 

[Forever Sleep]

It started off being all down to one person in childhood. Now, I can't really say it is so much to do with specific people. Mainly because I isolate I suppose. I suppose the fear of having to be around others again makes me very suicidal and I'd do just about anything to avoid the person from my childhood. So- more indirectly now I suppose, they set me on this path but, I've done little to stray from it- to be fair.

 

[Irisse]

My parents growing up were okay but my school environment was awful, I was bullied and shunned by everyone in that class, I think that caused my suicidality at the age of 12 in the first place. Later on, before I started Uni, a once beloved childhood friend turned out to be a creep and he did things that made me very paranoid. It's been seven years since I've heard of him and yet I'm still afraid. So yeah, most of my suicidality is caused by my environment.

 

[FuneralCry]

My wish to permanently cease existing is caused by this dreadful, torturous and futile existence I always saw as a mistake, no matter what I'll just always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this existence suffering so unnecessarily.

In this existence so cruel only non-existence can bring me any peace and for me non-existence is just all that's positive, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering and I just suffer so much as a result of this existence, to me existence is an abomination that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed, all I want is to be gone, I just want to never suffer again.

 

[liquid jen]

Me entirely.

 

[ventiswine]

religion and my country

 

[wishicould33]

I think I have CPTSD from my childhood. My older brother abused me (not sexually, but physically and mentally) and my mom had her own mental problems. I think that's a big part of why I'm so mentally fucked up now. But ultimately all my circumstances now are my own fault

 

[itsgone2]

None. Just me.

 

[StoneBridge]

I think I have CPTSD from my childhood. My older brother abused me (not sexually, but physically and mentally) and my mom had her own mental problems. I think that's a big part of why I'm so mentally fucked up now. But ultimately all my circumstances now are my own fault

It is not your fault, after all, you were deprived of the opportunity of a fair start up.

 

[here_for_now]

Mostly me, because i have siblings that went through worse if not the same and they're still kicking with dreams and goals

 

[kopebaldy]

None.

I made those choices, I did those things, I said those words.

I only have myself to blame.

 

[PI3.14]

A lot. My parents, the people of my country and the country itself. Being an atheist in one of the most religious countries in the world isn't fun.

However, the other issues I'm dealing with are way more of a reason for my desire to CTB though.