Discussion Who 'wore the trousers' (was more dominant) out of your parents? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

I'm not sure if the expression exists in other cultures but, in the UK, we use the expression: 'They wear the trousers in the relationship' to denote who is more dominant/ in control.

I'm curious to see who you think was most in control of your family units. Obviously, there's less choice when we are raised by single parents or, other care givers. My Grandparents did the bulk of my early raising after my mother died.

Even before though- during my parent's relationship, I get the sense that my Dad did a lot to please her. I think she was the driving force in wanting children. Definitely after remarrying, I think my step Mum wears the trousers. What are your thoughts?

 

[darksouls]

my mother and my sister, who is 12 years older than me, are both very dominant

 

[Pluto]

 

[derpyderpins]

It's very interesting as a poll. I'm one in the mom column. Having her yell at me and yell at my dad for not yelling at me and making her be the "bad guy" when I'd done nothing deserving of such scorn is imprinted on my brain.

I see Mom is winning the poll. I imagine this dynamic is heavily correlated with mental health issue. The West's shitty cultural feminism really fucked everything up
(and we say "wears the pants" but otherwise the same expression)

It's very interesting as a poll. I'm one in the mom column. Having her yell at me and yell at my dad for not yelling at me and making her be the "bad guy" when I'd done nothing deserving of such scorn is imprinted on my brain.

I see Mom is winning the poll. I imagine this dynamic is heavily correlated with mental health issue. The West's shitty cultural feminism really fucked everything up
(and we say "wears the pants" but otherwise the same expression)

I blame my dad, btw, at least equally. He needed to tell her she was being crazy and make it stop. Weak men are part of the equation

 

[Hvergelmir]

Unsure, due to difficulty in comparing ratios of explicit threat and violence, and soft manipulation.

 

[NameOfAction]

Kinda hard to tell in a single parent household. Like, nobody? Me?
I made most major decisions for me. Little to no input was offered in my upbringing

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Feels kinda fucked picking "Dad" on the poll considering he abused both me and my mom but it's correct so

 

[Always-in-trouble]

My mom was a bit more assertive and there was a lot of arguments due to work-life balance, though she has schizo-affective disorder so that did not help either.

Feels kinda fucked picking "Dad" on the poll considering he abused both me and my mom but it's correct so

Why? The majority being moms more shouldn't make you feel that you are being contrarian if your dad was being an aggressive asshole to the both of you