nihilism44

nihilism44

trying my best
May 2, 2021
79
I can't leave this earth right now because I know my dad would be going with me shortly after. I also have a lovely boyfriend of 5 years and I don't know if he would be able to handle it.
I know it sounds very pro-life of me but I know how much it would affect other people if I went through with it. I'm really grateful that I have people that love me.. it just makes it so much harder to leave and I'm so fucking exhausted :(
 
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Rabitfever

Rabitfever

Member
Mar 18, 2020
77
Mom, dad, brother. That's basically it. I have a few close friends but they're not going to be affected much is what I feel. But my family would be devastated and that's the only reason why I'm still here. I've recently distanced myself from them hoping to soften the blow
 
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solanastan16

solanastan16

Member
May 4, 2021
23
The fear of falling is what's currently keeping me alive. My younger sister too but sometimes she exacerbates it. It really depends on my mood.
 
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Rayzieka

Rayzieka

Not Really Here
Apr 28, 2021
637
Probably my best friend. But I know I get in his way often.
 
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T

the_final_countdown

Specialist
Dec 29, 2020
337
Myself. Unfortunately.

Survival instinct. It's so sad...I just want to go now.
 
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S

Sakura94

empty
Nov 26, 2020
673
parents
 
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ExhaustedExistence

ExhaustedExistence

Life is just waiting for death
Mar 26, 2021
693
Nobody is worth my suffering.
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,086
It's not a who, it's a blind animal instinct for self-preservation
 
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I

IHaveNoName

Member
Jan 28, 2021
39
I know the feeling my main reason I'm still here is my mum, she is also mentally ill and I don't know if she could cope with me CBTing without her depeing on me I'd bne gone right now.
 
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nopointofliving

nopointofliving

Warrior
Apr 19, 2021
513
Mum
 
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D

DarkAngel

Member
May 23, 2020
10
My partner has a terminal illness. I vowed to see him through his journey before ending my own.
 
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I

IHaveNoName

Member
Jan 28, 2021
39
My partner has a terminal illness. I vowed to see him through his journey before ending my own.
That must be very hard, I hope you are both happy until the end,
 
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B

BlankUser

Mage
Apr 24, 2021
501
My boyfriend... And my parrot? I'm thinking to buy another bird to keep my parrot company. Or I will write that in my suicide note for my boyfriend. I'll ask him to buy another bird. But I know my boyfriend will suffer a lot if I die. At the same time I think he will have a better life without me. He will be free of my OCD, he won't have to deal with it anymore. I already feel guilty by destroying his life.
It's not a pro-life thing to worry about the people you care. It shows that you are a good person. It's a horrible dilemma actually.
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
My dog.
 
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RedHarlequin

RedHarlequin

Mage
Jul 8, 2018
530
My mom, I will ruin the rest of her life. It breaks my heart. I also have a wonderful partner but even though it will be really hard and traumatizing for him, I think it is not going to destroy him like it is my mom.
 
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DarkWolf

DarkWolf

Worthless Loser
Mar 29, 2021
201
No one, now my dog is gone. I lived for years for her. I would not die until she did.
 
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LossOfWill

LossOfWill

Lowpoly Heaven
Dec 24, 2020
72
The only thing keeping me from killing myself is fear. I so badly want death but I don't have SN and I'm too scared to go by any other method
 
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D

diyCTB

Mage
Oct 28, 2018
573
My elderly mom. We both depend on each other. I am useless NEET but I help her with medical procedures, bring groceries home, help her with home DIY things, help with translations because she does not speak local language. She did a lot for me and I am in a limbo because my death will devastate her at best. I don't know how long I will be able to stay with her because my SN and other medications will start expiring at some point.
 
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D

deathgal

Member
May 4, 2021
19
When my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer I thought that I would end it after he died. I was thinking I can't go on without him. When he did pass it was really hard. My mum was in bits as my sister and family and I thought I couldn't do that to her. I keep thinking when she goes then it will happen but still every days a struggle. So it's just my close family keeping me here.
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,988
My Dog.
 
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Boochky

Boochky

Fat, bipolar, and hairy. (Sorry boys, I’m taken.)
Feb 23, 2019
334
Nobody. My mom tried to kill me in 2019 and I stayed alive because my boyfriend loved me. But now he's tired of me and there's nobody but creditors who will miss me.
 
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WatermelonMel

WatermelonMel

Melon Master
Aug 19, 2019
406
Nobody.
 
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Bat 17

Bat 17

Bat 17
Mar 30, 2021
307
Two daughters. As well as wanting to parent them (I'm a single dad) it one day dawned on me that they could well end up with bipolar disorder and/or suicidality too and need my help. I've suffered many indignities as a psychiatric inpatient and I'd hate to not be there for my own girls when they need me because I've checked out on them. My ex wife would be bloody useless !
 
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LenkaX

LenkaX

Maybe there is a hope!
Aug 14, 2020
366
I have nobody but my mother, but she shouldn't had me in the first place. I'm going to ctb soon. It's my life, not anybody else's.
 
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C

Choicer

Member
May 7, 2021
11
No one anymore I'm still here because I want a certain way out no mistakes no waking up in a hospital bed. I want to get it right.
 

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