Who else is addicted to overdosing?

[Cockney_Rebel]

I just got discharged from a psych ward, after a three week stay.

This was following an overdose on Zopiclone and Diazepam (100 of each.)

I also overdosed again whilst on the ward, on Paracetamol.

I'm addicted to everything about overdosing, and the more I do it, the more I want to do it.

I don't care if I live or if I die.

It's almost like a gamble, a big gamble at that.

Is anyone else on here addicted to overdosing, like me?

 

[iwanttodie000]

I have never overdosed but I think about it all the time. I'd love to try it, push the limits with it, I don't care if I live or die anyways. I can definitely see the appeal of pushing it further and further.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I have never overdosed but I think about it all the time. I'd love to try it, push the limits with it, I don't care if I live or die anyways. I can definitely see the appeal of pushing it further and further.

Thanks for the reply.

If you think about it all of the time, what pulls you back from giving it a go?

You need to get past the fear factor.

 

[iwanttodie000]

Thanks for the reply.

If you think about it all of the time, what pulls you back from giving it a go?

You need to get past the fear factor.

I definitely would love to try it and think about it all the time. I have a different ctb method I picked, I guess I am worried that I would be found or something bad would happen to fuck that up and then I'd be put in psych or something instead of getting to ctb, It's not the act of doing it i'd be fearful of, it would be what happened after. Unless it did actually kill me which would be sweet.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I definitely would love to try it and think about it all the time. I have a different ctb method I picked, I guess I am worried that I would be found or something bad would happen to fuck that up and then I'd be put in psych or something instead of getting to ctb, It's not the act of doing it i'd be fearful of, it would be what happened after. Unless it did actually kill me which would be sweet.

Would you mind sharing your preferred method of CTB?

 

[painoflife]

I also overdosed again whilst on the ward, on Paracetamol.

I'm addicted to everything about overdosing, and the more I do it, the more I want to do it.

I don't care if I live or if I die.

It's almost like a gamble, a big gamble at that.

Yes I managed 3 ODs while admitted last year.
I know this feeling well, once the thought of doing it is in my head there is only one way to get rid of it.
Distractions dont work and the longer I leave it before I do it, the worse the thoughts and worse eventual OD.
Cant say I actually like doing it, hate that feeling of tablets stuck in my throat and heavy feeling in my stomach. Got stomach damage from it and have to take meds to help or it is agony to eat anything. Dont like the way I am treated if I need to seek help afterwards, but I guess it is my own fault. Wish I could stop doing it

 

[iwanttodie000]

Would you mind sharing your preferred method of CTB?

12 gauge shotgun - I have thought of every method over and over and over again and kept coming back to it.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Yes I managed 3 ODs while admitted last year.
I know this feeling well, once the thought of doing it is in my head there is only one way to get rid of it.
Distractions dont work and the longer I leave it before I do it, the worse the thoughts and worse eventual OD.
Cant say I actually like doing it, hate that feeling of tablets stuck in my throat and heavy feeling in my stomach. Got stomach damage from it and have to take meds to help or it is agony to eat anything. Dont like the way I am treated if I need to seek help afterwards, but I guess it is my own fault. Wish I could stop doing it

I love the build up, as much as the act itself.

It's kind of like of the feeling you get when nearing a holiday/vacation.

Know what I mean?

12 gauge shotgun - I have thought of every method over and over and over again and kept coming back to it.

I too have thought about shooting myself in the head.

I was put off, however, after seeing a survivor on YouTube. She was a beautiful woman, but after the attempt, all she had left of her face was a hole. Some wierd looking shit.

 

[iwanttodie000]

I love the build up, as much as the act itself.

It's kind of like of the feeling you get when nearing a holiday/vacation.

Know what I mean?

I too have thought about shooting myself in the head.

I was put off, however, after seeing a survivor on YouTube. She was a beautiful woman, but after the attempt, all she had left of her face was a hole. Some wierd looking shit.

I may have to try and play around with the OD perhaps, not sure what over the counter stuff I could get that would give the effect. I have done so much reasearch on the gun and I know, there are some fucked up survival stories. But I have the most optimal shotgun and will have the most optimal ammo for success. I think a lot of people just try shooting themselves in the face or under the chin and that is definitely not a sure thing. My plan is supposed to be fool proof with how I would do it and the ammo/gun I have, so I hope that's the case.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I may have to try and play around with the OD perhaps, not sure what over the counter stuff I could get that would give the effect. I have done so much reasearch on the gun and I know, there are some fucked up survival stories. But I have the most optimal shotgun and will have the most optimal ammo for success. I think a lot of people just try shooting themselves in the face or under the chin and that is definitely not a sure thing. My plan is supposed to be fool proof with how I would do it and the ammo/gun I have, so I hope that's the case.

I wish you luck in whatever method you try.

I don't like life, so I presume you feel the same?

It's just a bunch of bullshit, and I'm looking forward to reincarnating in my new life.

 

[iwanttodie000]

I wish you luck in whatever method you try.

I don't like life, so I presume you feel the same?

It's just a bunch of bullshit, and I'm looking forward to reincarnating in my new life.

Thank you, I wish you the same! I hate life. It is a complete bull shit shitshow. I also have depression/anxiety issues that are very severe, I've been suicidal for a very long time, I am hoping and planning on this being the last year of my pathetic life

 

[WornOutLife]

I wouldn't called myself an addict to OD but I used to take more pills than I should because I wanted the effects to be "stronger".
Anyway, I tried to ctb by OD with 100 pills last year! I only ended up in a comma and then hell was in my life for 6 months.

 

[BandAddict]

When I was on medication I always wanted to OD on it, or take more than I should. OD'd 5-6 times, but after I quit medication and still had a bunch leftover, I've been holding off since last time.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I wouldn't called myself an addict to OD but I used to take more pills than I should because I wanted the effects to be "stronger".
Anyway, I tried to ctb by OD with 100 pills last year! I only ended up in a comma and then hell was in my life for 6 months.

What happened afterwards?

 

[WornOutLife]

What happened afterwards?

Well, I was in hell during 6 months and had my stomach fucked up for 60 days.
I had no freedom because my parents monitored me 24/7! (better than the psych ward, though)

However, my good behaviour made my family, therapist and psychiatrist trust me again and after that time, they decided I could be an independent human being again!

Now, I'm fortunately living alone and for the time being I'm planning to give life a shot but suicide is on my mind 24/7.

I don't have ODs anymore because I'm really scared of that terrible stomachache and going back to my parents' house.

That's basically it!

 

[suicidesheep31]

I love the build up, as much as the act itself.

It's kind of like of the feeling you get when nearing a holiday/vacation.

I am also addict to OD. First, it was with psychiatric meds and last time with paracetamol. But the last time, I didn't get what I was searching: A complete blackout.

I also like the build up. When I think about doing it, my heart is beating faster, my breathing is deeper, I can feel my checks slowly anesthetized. My body wait something. The adrenaline is there. Sorry, for the analogy but it is like if death was like a big orgasm that my body searches.

On the other hand, it is tiring to do it all the time...

 

[ayb]

I just got discharged from a psych ward, after a three week stay.

This was following an overdose on Zopiclone and Diazepam (100 of each.)

I also overdosed again whilst on the ward, on Paracetamol.

I'm addicted to everything about overdosing, and the more I do it, the more I want to do it.

I don't care if I live or if I die.

It's almost like a gamble, a big gamble at that.

Is anyone else on here addicted to overdosing, like me?

Which country was this if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Well, I was in hell during 6 months and had my stomach fucked up for 60 days.
I had no freedom because my parents monitored me 24/7! (better than the psych ward, though)

However, my good behaviour made my family, therapist and psychiatrist trust me again and after that time, they decided I could be an independent human being again!

Now, I'm fortunately living alone and for the time being I'm planning to give life a shot but suicide is on my mind 24/7.

I don't have ODs anymore because I'm really scared of that terrible stomachache and going back to my parents' house.

That's basically it!

Sorry to learn you had such a bad time, buddy.

Hope the future looks brighter for you.

I am also addict to OD. First, it was with psychiatric meds and last time with paracetamol. But the last time, I didn't get what I was searching: A complete blackout.

I also like the build up. When I think about doing it, my heart is beating faster, my breathing is deeper, I can feel my checks slowly anesthetized. My body wait something. The adrenaline is there. Sorry, for the analogy but it is like if death was like a big orgasm that my body searches.

On the other hand, it is tiring to do it all the time...

I agree with you on every point.

I just bought three boxes of Paracetamol, ready for my next go.

It's addictive ...

Which country was this if you don't mind me asking?

In the UK, my friend.

 

[Into The Void]

I'm not addicted to anything other than my regular medications that are doctor prescribed.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I'm not addicted to anything other than my regular medications that are doctor prescribed.

You don't OD?

 

[Into The Void]

You don't OD?

Nope, never even had the desire to OD. Though I have used psychedelics in the past like ketamine, shrooms, etc.

 

[suicidesheep31]

I just bought three boxes of Paracetamol, ready for my next go.

I feel nothing with paracetamol. I don't want to do it with that anymore.
What do you like the best when you do it?

 

[ansiedad]

Really I dont like ODs. But when I breaks down I take 4 or 5 bdzs to get sleep.
And lately doesnt works, only makes me more relax.
But my pain doesnt go becouse its in my mind.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I feel nothing with paracetamol. I don't want to do it with that anymore.
What do you like the best when you do it?

I like being in hospital, connected to the drip, having blood tests.

The only thing I don't like is feeling violently sick, which happens with paracetamol.

Really I dont like ODs. But when I breaks down I take 4 or 5 bdzs to get sleep.
And lately doesnt works, only makes me more relax.
But my pain doesnt go becouse its in my mind.

I stopped taking my medication last night, because it's made me put on weight.

I'm already feeling depressed.

 

[ansiedad]

Im trying to left bdzs, I think that I can sleep without it.
The first night I could sleep, but yesterday I only slept 3 hours.
My head its more clarity but if I left to sleep my problems going to be more terrible again...

 

[suicidesheep31]

if I left to sleep my problems going to be more terrible again...

what do you mean by that?

I also decreased bdzs last year. It was hard and still don't know if it was a good idea.
I manage to sleep with mindfulness exercises like visualizing myself in a safe place. My safe place is just a park where i like to go and where i know i am in security.
Another exercise is to put every thought in a box, you label the box with the category of the thought (it can be, mother, work, suicidal thought, thoughts from the past...), then you take the box and you send it in the sky, or you can send it on a boat that you see leaving far.

What helps me also is to say to myself that if I could i would always stay in my bed. So, I am currently in the best place I would ever want. I just need to wait tomorrow morning. I just enjoy to be in my bed. The more you will say "I need to sleep", the less you will sleep easily. I fall asleep faster when I say "I need to stay awake but really calm until tomorrow morning".

The decrease was in agreement with my doctor but I really feel more anxious than before in my daily life. Not sure it was a good idea.
The decrease also need to be really slow 5 mg for oxazepam and wait at least 2-3 weeks before to decrease again.
After 1 hour trying to fall asleep. Go in another room, read or do something calm like listening soft musics, radio, ASMR.
Eat an apple, drink a glass of water. and when you feel tired again, go back in your bed and try to sleep

 

[ansiedad]

what do you mean by that?

That doesn't sleep causes me going out, become to my biggest problem.

 

[gus.nixon]

an overdose on Zopiclone and Diazepam (100 of each.)

You might want to try an opiate overdose. You'll either wake up dead or you'll just feel fucking amazing.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

You might want to try an opiate overdose. You'll either wake up dead or you'll just feel fucking amazing.

Do you know of any prescription medications that are opiate based?

 

[gus.nixon]

Do you know of any prescription medications that are opiate based?

Prescriptions that are the most popular would be Oxycontin and maybe Dilaudid. Dilaudid is what you would be given through an IV if you were in the hospital after surgery if the morphine wasn't strong enough. I had hip replacement surgery last year and was given a dilaudid drip for pain management while I was stuck in a hospital bed recovering.