vadim
Disqualified From Being Human
- Aug 10, 2023
- 119
What it says. Basically, I see no point in ever trying to put my reasons for killing myself into writing because I can't ever capture them fully when I try to and I don't believe I could ever make the readers understand what was really going through my mind. There's also the fact that I am simply too exhausted to feel like doing anything 95% of the time (though finally going through with an act of suicide would probably have to be done during the 5% so who really knows, maybe there will be a letter after all).
The only thing that persuades me even a bit that writing a letter would be worthwhile is that I might somehow be able to give people in my life more closure than had I not written one. I might also make things worse for them though. For example, I might mention a problem I had and it makes them think "I should have noticed that/been able to help them with that/etc." So because I have no way of knowing whether it would help or not, or make things worse, leaving behind a note ultimately seems pointless and futile.
Thoughts?
The only thing that persuades me even a bit that writing a letter would be worthwhile is that I might somehow be able to give people in my life more closure than had I not written one. I might also make things worse for them though. For example, I might mention a problem I had and it makes them think "I should have noticed that/been able to help them with that/etc." So because I have no way of knowing whether it would help or not, or make things worse, leaving behind a note ultimately seems pointless and futile.
Thoughts?