Discussion Who else feels like they left their younger self down?

[AngelOfDeath01]

Does anyone else feel like they are disappointed in their life, like they were going to make something meaningful out of it and had big ambitions when they were younger but some crashing circumstances (mental issues, physical problems, social situations...) terminated their dreams?

I feel like this everyday, my childhood was rather good. And I firmly believe that what happens in your youngest years forges your personality and may plays a big role in your future. I had plans to look forward to in the future but everything went downhill after my mental health began to worsen. I just feel like maybe I could prevented this. If my younger self saw my situation right now, she would be in an utter disappointment and disbelief.

 

[ghostgirl99]

i relate to this so much
i always think "would the 13 year old me be proud of who i am today" and tbh she would be very disappointed. life fucking sucks

 

[Final Escape]

Oh big time :(" I had self love deficit, was self destructive in my youth. My unborn kids paid for it too. Thanks planned parenthood for leaving me childless. Had it not been legal I would not have tried to find a way to illegally do it but they often say women will resort to that but only a very very small percent of women would risk dying over an unplanned pregnancy if it's not legal and safe.

 

[AngelOfDeath01]

i relate to this so much
i always think "would the 13 year old me be proud of who i am today" and tbh she would be very disappointed. life fucking sucks

I know, sometimes I wonder maybe I had some messed up high expectations for this life but then I take a look at former friends and realize their life is pretty much great. But what baffles me is that I even tried harder than them and had more challenging difficulties, and I thought maybe I will be somewhat rewarded for forging my way after all the shit I have been put through. I know life isn't fair and doesn't owe you a thing but still you would think there is some kind of a justice to it. But unfortunately in some cases there is none.

 

[Nem]

Sorry to hear of the stories shared of lost dreams and hope.
I was doing okay until I met my ex and she became controlling af. I completely ruined my life by not aborting the relationship near the beginning, I totally fucked myself over
Peace/hugs

 

[SerenitySeeker]

I know, sometimes I wonder maybe I had some messed up high expectations for this life but then I take a look at former friends and realize their life is pretty much great. But what baffles me is that I even tried harder than them and had more challenging difficulties, and I thought maybe I will be somewhat rewarded for forging my way after all the shit I have been put through. I know life isn't fair and doesn't owe you a thing but still you would think there is some kind of a justice to it. But unfortunately in some cases there is none.

^^ I could've wrote this verbatim, I feel the same way. I was repeatedly told and in turn internalized for a long time "it'll get better, you'll be stronger for all of this" so much so that's what kept me going until it never got better.
Hindsight is always 20/20, the younger me would have never thought it would be quite like this.

 

[Jean4]

My life has always sucked. My dream was to get married and have a family. I'm 51 with a hysterectomy. My one dream is never going to happen.

It is interesting. I never had friends, boyfriends, and did things that were expected when we were younger. Never went to the prom, had a Sweet 16... anything.

Did I let my younger self down? No. My whole life was a let down.

 

[Final Escape]

Sorry I keep bringing up my abortions u guys. I know it's like getting old. I try to stop.

 

[Darkhaven]

Oh, i have been feeling that way permanently for over a year.
And i'm still 22.
I did have some ambitions. Not "otherwordly big" ambitions, regular stuff for the most part.
Professional, Financial, Social, Sportive.
All went down the sink with the appearance of Essential Tremor, a disease.
Now i just want to die to avoid more disappointments.

 

[AngelOfDeath01]

Sorry I keep bringing up my abortions u guys. I know it's like getting old. I try to stop.

No, of course it is fine to share your feelings and thoughts with us even if you think they are redundant. It only highlights the impact it had in your life and I can understand you for that. I don't know your whole story but I feel for you.

 

[shakybacon]

For sure. I had plans on college to get my electronics degree, to start a family etc.. That's all gone out the window

 

[AngelOfDeath01]

For sure. I had plans on college to get my electronics degree, to start a family etc.. That's all gone out the window

I am sorry you feel this way too. What caused this to happen if I may ask? I am sending you love and I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[RubySimon]

All of the time. My kid self worked so hard did everything the adults told them to do. Only for me to still be stuck in my parents home with none of the dreams little me had anywhere near true.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Definitely. I had intelligence talent and a good upbringing. Some issues but overall I was lucky. Then I discovered beer and blam it was all downhill.

 

[bigj75]

Definitely. I had intelligence talent and a good upbringing. Some issues but overall I was lucky. Then I discovered beer and blam it was all downhill.

Damn. sorry to hear that.

 

[puppy9]

Gambling ruined my life.

 

[Are you lost too?]

Yes, I would never have imagined being so hopeless. I feel like I thought I had a bright future and that I worked hard for it. Now I just don't know where all that will went. I think I'm a disappointment to myself and my parents. But they somehow think I will get better and go back to wanting stuff and moving on. I just can't feel that I will. Damn I'm not even sure if I want to "get better".

 

[AngelOfDeath01]

Yes, I would never have imagined being so hopeless. I feel like I thought I had a bright future and that I worked hard for it. Now I just don't know where all that will went. I think I'm a disappointment to myself and my parents. But they somehow think I will get better and go back to wanting stuff and moving on. I just can't feel that I will. Damn I'm not even sure if I want to "get better".

I have similar feelings to you. I know I disappointed a lot of people in my life but what I can't still forgive myself for is that I disappointed myself. A lot of people had high expectations for me but then it all went down to ashes. And I tried so hard to get better but right now I don't feel like I even want to. Maybe I am saying it as a way to not be let down when I fail at it again but I am so numb right now to process my feelings.

 

[mynameispaige]

I definitely let my younger self down. I had so many hopes and dreams. I still do. I let myself get to where I am now and I'm so disappointed in myself.

 

[Are you lost too?]

I have similar feelings to you. I know I disappointed a lot of people in my life but what I can't still forgive myself for is that I disappointed myself. A lot of people had high expectations for me but then it all went down to ashes. And I tried so hard to get better but right now I don't feel like I even want to. Maybe I am saying it as a way to not be let down when I fail at it again but I am so numb right now to process my feelings.

Yes, I feel like we're in the same boat. What they tell me is that I should forgive myself and find the strength to move on - only that it all seems so difficult. And somehow, I don't know what's the point of this life anymore. So I can't really find the will to pick up my pieces and move on. At the same time, I feel like I had such a promising future and that I wasted it. And keep wasting it. But don't feel like doing anything to change it either. I just feel empty.

I definitely let my younger self down. I had so many hopes and dreams. I still do. I let myself get to where I am now and I'm so disappointed in myself.

It's a good thing you have goals and dreams. Hang on to those ! Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Kassender]

Honestly, no.

He tried. I tried.
I absolutely did work my ass off and believed in myself, but it was just delusion from a shitty childhood and too much tv.
A just world fallacy.

I cringe hard when i think about him.

Nobody let him down.
He was the letdown.

 

[woxihuanni]

I think what would be came to be. Could've done much worse with what I had, doubt it was possible to do better.

I was an incongruity anyway.

 

[cookiedough]

I definitely feel this. I had dreams of being in the medical field. And I fucked everything up. I'm nothing now.

 

[Mr2005]

My younger self let me down

 

[Are you lost too?]

My younger self let me down

Now I'm curious!!! You don't have to answer if you don't want to, ofc :)
a sense that you've improved on yourself or that the younger has done so much bad choices that you can't come back from now?

 

[WhiteDespair]

I thought I would be dead in 6 months for years now. Younger me would've been surprised at that. Or, younger me would have no concept of any of this due to a wonderful childhood.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I feel like this all the time! I got sick with complex regional pain syndrome when I was 20. I didn't want an ordinary life. I wanted to be an actress. But I never got to go and study. It makes me sick that all my dreams!s were just wiped away by a viscious disease and I often sit here wondering when my life would be life now if I had succeedied as an actress. I have such passion for it.ill never have known if I would have made it or not.

Sorry I keep bringing up my abortions u guys. I know it's like getting old. I try to stop.

There no need at all to apologize for talking about something that means the or to you even if you bring it up every time. That's what we're here for.

My younger self let me down

Can you learn to forgive your younger self? How old was your younger self that let you down?

 

[Mr2005]

I feel like this all the time! I got sick with complex regional pain syndrome when I was 20. I didn't want an ordinary life. I wanted to be an actress. But I never got to go and study. It makes me sick that all my dreams!s were just wiped away by a viscious disease and I often sit here wondering when my life would be life now if I had succeedied as an actress. I have such passion for it.ill never have known if I would have made it or not.

There no need at all to apologize for talking about something that means the or to you even if you bring it up every time. That's what we're here for.

Can you learn to forgive your younger self? How old was your younger self that let you down?

17. Very unlikely. I'm 33 now. It's cost me nearly half my life when it could have been over in six months.

 

[passenger27]

I definitely let my younger self down. He never would have believed what he'd become.

Sort of reminds me of a poem by Thomas Hood - "I Remember, I Remember." This is the last part of it:


I remember, I remember,
The fir trees dark and high;
I used to think their slender tops
Were close against the sky:
It was a childish ignorance,
But now 'tis little joy
To know I'm farther off from heav'n
Than when I was a boy.

 

[Crystal Labeija]

I've let everyone down. They were rooting for me, but I rejected their help in favor of an easier solution.