Who else feels it's Better Dead than lonely

[End_Game]

Who else here wants to die due to loneliness?

I'm a 26 (about to be 27) year old dude and I've never had sex. I don't really have many friends or luck with girls. There is more, but that's really the meat of it. Is it the same for you?

 

[Ark]

I don't feel that alone would be enough for me personally. Don't get me wrong I know lonliness is horrible but, if that was the only issue I was dealing with I would hope I could fix it. Not trivializing your feelings at all, just how I would feel about it I believe.

 

[End_Game]

I don't feel that alone would be enough for me personally. Don't get me wrong I know lonliness is horrible but, if that was the only issue I was dealing with I would hope I could fix it. Not trivializing your feelings at all, just how I would feel about it I believe.

It's just I push people away. I'm an only child. If and when my mom passes, I will have NO ONE. I just want someone to care about me. So after my mom goes, that's when I'm going. If I can't fix it by then, I'll never be able to fix it AND my youth would have been truly wasted with me never having sex. If no one will miss me, why am I here?

 

[Azzy69]

Here. I have been extremely lonely and isolated my entire life and I hate the empty and numb feelings that come with it.

 

[NotMeant2B]

We are very similar. Although I feel like even if I managed to get all of that, I would still feel fucked up. I just grew tired of life. I can even say I lived. I just want to rest from this.

 

[Nnana]

I only have my mother and brother. No friends, and unable to make them due to the trauma of being bullied and being very shy. Loneliness is one of the main reasons why I want to kill myself. Though I have other awful problems. Loneliness is horrible, soul sucking, I wish I had friends and a social life, but wasted all my youth locked inside home, afraid of getting out and being bullied again. For suicide, I don't want to die before my mother, but let's see how long I can cope.

 

[chris8000]

It's just I push people away. I'm an only child. If and when my mom passes, I will have NO ONE. I just want someone to care about me. So after my mom goes, that's when I'm going. If I can't fix it by then, I'll never be able to fix it AND my youth would have been truly wasted with me never having sex. If no one will miss me, why am I here?

Personally if I suddenly had no friends or a partner or family, I wouldn't think like this. And over time I learnt that sex is over rated by the media and the majority of people, so no need to worry about that. If you are always craving sensual pleasure your mind is not at ease so your suffer a lot on a mental level. Better to take up a spiritual practice like meditation, bring your mind into the tranquility of samadhi, then you have your reason for living. This is much better than sex, drugs, etc. But this, like anything worthwhile requires persistence and some level of discipline, so I totally get why people just get lonely and do themselves. That isn't what I would do though, it is a waste of something very precious. I have a worse problem in many ways, because my nervous system is (almost certainly) irreveribly damaged and I am like super crippled and in a lot of pain for years now. I can deal with quite a lot of pain, but now it has got much worse, everyone has their limits and at somepoint, ending your life, becomes the most compassionate thing to do.

Although many people disagree with this idea, I am inclined to believe in rebirth. Which means if you kill yourself after just giving up out of no good reason but lack of willpower and energy to improve your situation, then you just get reborn and end up back in it. I think there is a way out of this cycle which is the 8 fold path.

 

[blue]

I don't feel that alone would be enough for me personally. Don't get me wrong I know loneliness is horrible but, if that was the only issue I was dealing with I would hope I could fix it. Not trivializing your feelings at all, just how I would feel about it I believe.

it's difficult--
speaking from experience, loneliness often stems from something inward--
I totally see your perspective-
I can't speak for everyone, but at least for myself, my loneliness is deep seated from not having a secure and loving foundation in my childhood
it kind of paints the world around you
it colors everything you do
it also creates real barriers toward rectifying the loneliness
for some people it will be impossible

on the outside, you might see all the positive traits of the person
and believe they are lovable and with a little work can improve
but the reality is the person doesn't see themselves that way and doesn't feel it deep within.

 

[Ashley_1988]

I totally get u? I mean about the lonely part…
I am 31 years old and even so i have friends, and a so called social life. But I still feel lonely even if I am in a room full of loving and caring people. It's just like If they knew how dead I feeling inside but no I keep on pretending giving them false smiles etc.
But sometimes I even hate to be around them, all in their happy relationships, like everyone find the so "called" special one but me. I am not a virgin, I've had had some sex but it was never love involved. I did pretend that yes I am cool with it, all those casual hook up's. But I made myself hurt so bad over and over again. So what I mean if you´re sexually active doesn't has to do anything with not being alone. And if it´s done the awkward morning afterwards..i feel not just alone but used. And it´s all on me.
And I know I am objectively not ugly and guys are hiding on me but still, it´s always like I am the good friend, or the "exotic" girl. ( I am person of color and in Germany you seem to be special their) But no one likes to have something real. You know..and dealing with that kind of rejection for years, it just makes you ill. And hopeless and I don´t know…

 

[Sideswipe]

I'd rather be alone and lonely than surrounded by people and lonely... thats my story.

never underestimate the power of animas instead of Humans. My dogs and cat are by my side even in the darkest of moments.
True unbreakable love

also as said above, sex is well over rated. It becomes a chore very quickly and for me a period in which to hate on yourself even more as you are opening your vulnerable side to the other person who will likely sh&t on you anyway, this making you feel worse...

Mums are awesome... She will always love you no matter what

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

Loneliness due to isolation that stemmed from fear of further bullying is my main reason for ctb. I'm tired of everyone else truly living and having fun while all I can do is spectate beyond my invisible wall.
It's a choice between ending the pain now or torturing myself with another 50-70 years with this exact lifestyle.
No thanks, I've had enough. I choose death.

 

[Moonicide]

Given the fact I grew up without love from my father and he abused me, it lead to me becoming so love hungry as I got older... I don't think I could live without love. Deep down all of us want to love and be loved... The thing with me is I'm very chaotic due to my abandonment issues. I will fight for them to stay until they give up on us/me. Losing people is what sets me off, it's not healthy, I'm aware. But I latch on and become invested in people because they are my family. I don't have a real family, so I've tried to make one with friends instead. Which has always got me in trouble in the end...

But to answer your question, yes, I'd rather be dead than not be loved. Even with love I'm still starving for it. We love childhood trauma!

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

It's better dead than being a failure.

 

[End_Game]

Given the fact I grew up without love from my father and he abused me, it lead to me becoming so love hungry as I got older... I don't think I could live without love. Deep down all of us want to love and be loved... The thing with me is I'm very chaotic due to my abandonment issues. I will fight for them to stay until they give up on us/me. Losing people is what sets me off, it's not healthy, I'm aware. But I latch on and become invested in people because they are my family. I don't have a real family, so I've tried to make one with friends instead. Which has always got me in trouble in the end...

But to answer your question, yes, I'd rather be dead than not be loved. Even with love I'm still starving for it. We love childhood trauma!

Okay so I'm not crazy for feeling this way. An the crazy thing is that if we did tell anyone who MIGHT care, they'd just tell us to get help and leave anyway. I'm an only child. I only have my mom and my cat. Sure I have my cousins, but I don't feel close with them like that. I'm sure I'll kill myself at some point. It's gonna be in 10 to 15 years, but this is how it ends. I've been thinking about this for years and it's not gonna change. I'd like it to, but it can't.

 

[OneBigBlur]

Yeah, even despite all of the trauma I suffered throughout my childhood it's ultimately not going to be the thing to kill me, it's the loneliness. The only thing I ever wanted was to spend the rest of my life with someone I love but I know that's never going to happen. I told this to my therapist last week when I was crying, that nobody wants you in this world if you're defective and it's an unfortunate reality. It seems like peoples concept of love in this world seems to be a matter of convenience.

I think I'm strange for a man, I never wanted flings with random women and I never cared about status, power, or wealth. I've been chasing an imaginary carrot my entire life that doesn't exist for someone like me.

 

[End_Game]

I've been chasing an imaginary carrot my entire life that doesn't exist for someone like me.

Same, I'm looking for friends who are not real. Looking for a girl, who is not real. A girl will create the illusion that she is the one, however, it's just that.. an illusion. The bitch will turn out to be crazy at some point, and/ or stop talking to you out of the blue. I can't be myself with women, so why am I here? I'm here to see how the world falls from stupidity, than I leave on my terms. I will leave this life never being loved the way I wanted. I don't have a choice. I cannot control how other people feel about me. I cannot make someone love me. I can have anything I want out of this world, but I can't have love. I cannot have someone love me the way I want them to love me. I'm the punch line and my life is the joke. Maybe after I kill myself people will get the joke. They will laugh on my life. People are monsters after all. I'm sure we all know this.

 

[GinaIsReady]

I've been chasing an imaginary carrot my entire life that doesn't exist for someone like me.

I feel this way too.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I have many reasons for wanting to ctb but loneliness is what will ultimately do me in. I think due to having an emotionally absent father I have constantly been on a quest for love and the desire to be needed and wanted romantically. I found my soul mate, he discarded me and now I'm alone again.

 

[Tearygirl]

My primary reason for ctb. I have no friends, and no partner. I feel I am worthless. I agree with better dead than lonely. I want to die.

 

[OneBigBlur]

I hope we all find what we are looking for in the afterlife, I think most people deserve better than being ignored and abandoned their entire lives.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Sadly, this is a big part of what's going on.
It's the real reason, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life or at best to be treated as disposable trash.
Yeah... Shit sucks
I want to cry

 

[mediocre]

I'm in the same situation and I'm the same age as you. Just turned 27. I have aspergers. Never had a friendship or a relationship of any kind. I've been alone all my life even as a child I felt like an outsider nobody wanted to be friends with me. I stopped trying to engage with people when I was 12. I just live a lonely miserable existence.

 

[Mizzmini45]

I have no real friends, on and off crazy boyfriend, bad housing situation

 

[Wayfaerer]

If loneliness is the biggest reason why you are here then you are in luck because that can definitely be changed. Take it from me, someone who has lived a painfully lonely existence and didn't have sex at all until a week ago at the age of 27. It flipped a light switch in me. I gained confidence and self-esteem as a result and had this "glow" afterwards. I just felt way different on a subconscious level that I can't quite describe. Then again, I'm not here because of that so, too little too late. Would've made a big difference years ago but not now.

 

[sewersideman]

love and sex is literally basic need the loneliness it hurts deep down no matter how much I try to be happy alone everything feels pointless and lifeless

 

[LonelyLight]

I'm lonely all the time, even in a room of people. I just want someone to hold me. And at that, I want one particular person that will never hold me again.

 

[Anathema]

Not me, I've gone years with no friends and social interactions apart from attending classes etc. I love it!

 

[Pan]

Not me, I've gone years with no friends and social interactions apart from attending classes etc. I love it!

Good for you! I talk myself into feeling like being alone (my wife died last year) is somehow wrong.

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

*raises hand*

 

[Eren]

I am also for that reason, although not the only one