Which mainstream and conventional wisdoms are just wrong?

[noname223]

I think you will get a lot of different answers in such a thread. Maybe it is a good place for conspiracies. But I ask myself what is the conventional wisdom on the death of Epstein for example. Isn't the conspiracy the conventional wisdom? I could imagine they indirectly helped him that he could kill himself.

My ideas were for example gold is not a good investment to avoid inflation. But honestly I don't have enough knowledge to really make a competent advice. But if I wrote only about topics I was an expert in I could basically write about nearly nothing.

Suicide was the easy way out. I know for sure that this is not true.
Don't ask people whether they are suicidal. It is quite the opposite talking often helps.
People with psychosis or bipolar are all drug addicts
Money can buy you happiness
Honesty is always the best choice
When someone hits you turn on the other cheek (I naively believed that when I was young)
The wiser you get the less you speak

Not sure if these were good examples. Do you know more?

 

[chronicphysicalpain]

"Doctors are well intended"

 

[Julgran]

I think you will get a lot of different answers in such a thread. Maybe it is a good place for conspiracies. But I ask myself what is the conventional wisdom on the death of Epstein for example. Isn't the conspiracy the conventional wisdom? I could imagine they indirectly helped him that he could kill himself.

My ideas were for example gold is not a good investment to avoid inflation. But honestly I don't have enough knowledge to really make a competent advice. But if I wrote only about topics I was an expert in I could basically write about nearly nothing.

Suicide was the easy way out. I know for sure that this is not true.
Don't ask people whether they are suicidal. It is quite the opposite talking often helps.
People with psychosis or bipolar are all drug addicts
Money can buy you happiness
Honesty is always the best choice
When someone hits you turn on the other cheek (I naively believed that when I was young)
The wiser you get the less you speak

Not sure if these were good examples. Do you know more?

When I was in kindergarten, I was told that it was perfectly OK to throw away bananan peels in bushes, because they will naturally decompose, but later in life, I have been told that it's not OK to do so. I'm still conflicted about this.

 

[bubo]

that thing older people will say about "you can be anything you want when you grow up!". It's a "common wisdom" but it's not wise at all! It's complete bullshit. Let's see what your employers will have to say about being whatever you want, you can't just get any job you want cuz' you worked for it, such a thing is a man-made fantasy and honestly should be considered a faux pas to say cuz' it's just foolish.

 

[summers]

It gets better...

that thing older people will say about "you can be anything you want when you grow up!". It's a "common wisdom" but it's not wise at all! It's complete bullshit. Let's see what your employers will have to say about being whatever you want, you can't just get any job you want cuz' you worked for it, such a thing is a man-made fantasy and honestly should be considered a faux pas to say cuz' it's just foolish.

It's partially true. But to be really successful, you would really have to start focusing on and studying for a career well before college or trade school. College shouldn't be the first time you worked with electronic equipment if you want to be an electrical engineer. Want to be a developer, probably need to start coding in multiple languages before you get out of HS. Also, you're going to have to do a lot of self study. If your career will focus on math, do every single problem when the teacher only assigns odds.
Of course, some careers are out of reach because of mental, physical, or financial limitations. Not everyone is dexterous enough to be a neurosurgeon. You simply may not have the genetics to be a professional basketball player, or you may have some learning disability the prevents you from passing the bar exam.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

It's partially true. But to be really successful, you would really have to start focusing on and studying for a career well before college or trade school. College shouldn't be the first time you worked with electronic equipment if you want to be an electrical engineer. Want to be a developer, probably need to start coding in multiple languages before you get out of HS. Also, you're going to have to do a lot of self study. If your career will focus on math, do every single problem when the teacher only assigns odds.
Of course, some careers are out of reach because of mental, physical, or financial limitations. Not everyone is dexterous enough to be a neurosurgeon. You simply may not have the genetics to be a professional basketball player, or you may have some learning disability the prevents you from passing the bar exam.

Well shit, I fucked that one up too

 

[Celerity]

"Respect is earned" but "trust until given a reason not to". I have always found it backwards.

For me, respect is given and trust is earned.

I think people who have faced betrayal and manipulation understand my POV better.

 

[Life_and_Death]

It's partially true. But to be really successful, you would really have to start focusing on and studying for a career well before college or trade school. College shouldn't be the first time you worked with electronic equipment if you want to be an electrical engineer. Want to be a developer, probably need to start coding in multiple languages before you get out of HS. Also, you're going to have to do a lot of self study

tbf, most people are already doing those things optionally before HS as a hobby/interest so its not really that big of a jump typically. if you dont already have something youre interested in then, yeah.

 

[Poor Stargazer]

Conspiracy theory is a word the CIA coined to discredit anyone who didnt believe the official government narrative of the JFK assassination. There is no way LHO hit those shots, i have a background in ballistics. I dont think anyone who believes in the government is an actual person. The fact is, here in the US we dont have a 2 party system, we have a system taken over by 2 parties, both owned by the same corporations. The people who vote are idiots and the media use them to manufacture consent. Fk man, im drunk, i dont even know what we are talking about anymore but fk the government.

 

[WearyHSP]

Less conspiracy theory and more aphorisms based in avoidance and toxic positivity:

"Everything happens for a reason"
"If you just think positively, you'll attract good things"
"All good things come to those who wait"
In regard to finding a mate, "You'll find him when you're least expecting it"

I've had all these and other ridiculous kinds of avoidance responses used against me. I loved, when after I was assaulted in my home by a stranger, that a friend said, "Sometimes bad things just happen." Everyone else in my world was in some way blaming me for "attracting" the assault because my thoughts weren't positive enough.

 

[wait.what]

Fk man, im drunk, i dont even know what we are talking about anymore but fk the government.

Well, you've got one up on me . . . I'm sober, I don't know what we're talking about, and fk the government anyway.

Everyone else in my world was in some way blaming me for "attracting" the assault because my thoughts weren't positive enough.

I hate that shit. I think the worst one is "God won't give you more than you can handle." That is demonstrably false. Visit a cemetery sometime. Every single headstone represents a person who got more than they could handle. Imagine a world of honest headstones: "Here lies Annoying Oldguy. Toxically positive: 12/1/1920 - 6/14/2018. God finally gave him more than he could handle: 6/15/2018."

 

[WearyHSP]

I hate that shit. I think the worst one is "God won't give you more than you can handle."

OMG THANK YOU!
I mean, death for me, probably isn't more than I can handle these days, I pray for it. But everything else bad that's happened to me, people try to spin as butterflies and rainbows.
The abuse I suffered when I was seven and in flashbacks begged, "please just kill me" was more than I could handle... to this day still. I live that in a repeat PTSD version every day of my life. It never ends.

People proudly tell me they're survivors (all good to them of course, everyone's story is different) but I think, "I didn't WANT to survive" and "just surviving isn't enough." Just because I'm still alive after horrible abuse, does that mean I handled it? NO.

I changed, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" to, "What doesn't kill you gives you PTSD" Far more honest!

THANK YOU, loved your response.

 

[summers]

Conspiracy theory is a word the CIA coined to discredit anyone who didnt believe the official government narrative of the JFK assassination. There is no way LHO hit those shots, i have a background in ballistics. I dont think anyone who believes in the government is an actual person. The fact is, here in the US we dont have a 2 party system, we have a system taken over by 2 parties, both owned by the same corporations. The people who vote are idiots and the media use them to manufacture consent. Fk man, im drunk, i dont even know what we are talking about anymore but fk the government.

Regardless of government system (presidential, parliamentary, etc...) and number of viable parties, in a capitalist society, there are only two kinds of people - the owners of capital and workers. All governments serve to protect the interests capitalists.

 

[waitingforrest]

"Treat people how you want to be treated".

When it comes to being in abusive relationships, take the golden rule, set it on the ground, add gasoline, and set it on fire.

There are just some people who will never treat you nicely.

 

[Euthanza]

Of course every NPC crab-mentality-preventors' favorite "suicide is preventable" bullshit.

Suicide is unassailable, look at those 800k soul per year, more than just a number statistic, it's a collective final statement of minority group that's being neglected by normies.

 

[Poor Stargazer]

Regardless of government system (presidential, parliamentary, etc...) and number of viable parties, in a capitalist society, there are only two kinds of people - the owners of capital and workers. All governments serve to protect the interests capitalists.

Ill never understand why we dont simply rise up and kill them all. Its so fundamental and at the same time so stupid to me. Humans are the only creatures that have to pay to live on this planet. Those people are fkin idiots

 

[wait.what]

The tea in this thread is so hot it'll melt your face off . . .

"What doesn't kill you gives you PTSD" Far more honest!

I love this . . . would you mind if I made it my sig quote for a while? If using it is ok, would you like me to attribute it to you? If so, under what name?

 

[littlelungs]

"Everything happens for a reason"

I fucking HATE this one. There will never be a good enough reason for some of the shit I saw and went through when my brain was in the most critical stages of development and fucked me up for life, both physically and psychologically.

 

[summers]

Ill never understand why we dont simply rise up and kill them all. Its so fundamental and at the same time so stupid to me. Humans are the only creatures that have to pay to live on this planet. Those people are fkin idiots

Because then others would just take their place. It's not about killing those who have capital, or can procure capital. It's not about eliminating classes and the like. They will always come back. Humans need to evolve - genetically and technologically.

Otherwise, just like the Starset song goes it'll be "The same old things with the same solutions." If they didn't work before, without fundamentally changing what a human is, they won't work in the future.

 

[Euthanza]

"Everything happens for a reason"
"If you just think positively, you'll attract good things"
"All good things come to those who wait"

The reason is stupid

Think positive, you'll be an easy prey

All good things cost so much

 

[Poor Stargazer]

Because then others would just take their place. It's not about killing those who have capital, or can procure capital. It's not about eliminating classes and the like. They will always come back. Humans need to evolve - genetically and technologically.

Otherwise, just like the Starset song goes it'll be "The same old things with the same solutions." If they didn't work before, without fundamentally changing what a human is, they won't work in the future.

I disagree. Those "with capital" got capital from exploiting the labor of a poor person. They weaponize poverty and think they can rule over the majority of people. They wont come back if there are consequences for their actions. Ive never heard that song and i dont accept because a song said something, its true. My .02 anyway. Love

 

[summers]

I disagree. Those "with capital" got capital from exploiting the labor of a poor person. They weaponize poverty and think they can rule over the majority of people. They wont come back if there are consequences for their actions. Ive never heard that song and i dont accept because a song said something, its true. My .02 anyway. Love

My point is, both communism and capitalism have failed, have flaws, and have ruling classes. We could set up 100 of each system and all will fail assuredly. Maybe over different time frames, but like everything else humans try, it will fail.

I think your missing the point of that line. It's a reference to the false thinking that things will be different or better, when there is no evidence to support these assumptions. Exactly the same as someone who says "don't ctb, things will get better." Or people who have children thinking their lives, and the world in general will be better, when all evidence refutes that assumption. So how and why exactly will a communist state be better this time around. How will it be better than Cuba or N Korea. Similarly, how could one assume a new capitalist state would be better than what we have today. You can't because nothing has changed - it's "The same old things with the same solutions."

Oh, and Dustin Bates, the person who wrote that song has a PhD in electrical engineering. So a pretty smart guy.

 

[WearyHSP]

I fucking HATE this one. There will never be a good enough reason for some of the shit I saw and went through when my brain was in the most critical stages of development and fucked me up for life, both physically and psychologically.

People are so full of avoidance and use toxic positivity to paint the world to their liking.
Of course most of them haven't lived through things that you and I have, so they can't imagine - and don't want to imagine, or be curious, or be compassionate.
It's such an easy way to judge others all the while looking sunny in our culture of avoidance.

I love this . . . would you mind if I made it my sig quote for a while? If using it is ok, would you like me to attribute it to you? If so, under what name?

Actually, I'd love it.
Up to you about attributing it. I don't actually know what that looks like.
I'm less attached to being the creator and more attached to people hearing it - because it's the truer statement.

Feel free to wordsmith: I was thinking it might be a better call back to the original if you keep the "makes" in. Example: What doesn't kill you makes you have PTSD. It seems a bit clumsier but it's closer to the original. Your call.


For the record, I'm Weary HSP. HSP = Highly Sensitive Person.


I feel people. I feel when they lie, I feel when they have mean thoughts... Had I been raised in a healthy household, it would be a great advantage, but being raised in trauma, the gift of heightened perception just made everything worse. Being empathic is perpetually tied to trauma.

 

[Celerity]

I've had all these and other ridiculous kinds of avoidance responses used against me. I loved, when after I was assaulted in my home by a stranger, that a friend said, "Sometimes bad things just happen." Everyone else in my world was in some way blaming me for "attracting" the assault because my thoughts weren't positive enough.

What in the actual fuck?! Blaming a victim for being victimized is truly the pinnacle of "toxic positivity". How can people be so fucking stupid and cruel?

 

[WearyHSP]

What in the actual fuck?! Blaming a victim for being victimized is truly the pinnacle of "toxic positivity". How can people be so fucking stupid and cruel?

THANK YOU!

And, you tell me. I'm curious how this has become such a consistent practice? Do you know?

I often wonder if somehow I'm a magnet for toxic-positive people because that was inextricably part of my childhood abuse. Trauma does repeat itself. (I'm the case study/poster child for trauma weirdly repeating.)

(In my childhood home, if I HAD a problem I WAS the problem. and was badly scapegoated as a result. My two older siblings were able to shut down their self-awareness, pretend they were happy 24/7, become competitive and play the game

OR, are we in a culture where 95% of people lack any curiosity and/or compassion? And I'm just constantly surrounded by avoidance of anything that causes discomfort?

I'm not sure.

I've been repeatedly ignored, silenced and shunned for being or saying anything that was less than saccharine.
(as part of that repeat pattern. Another example, when I was assaulted, the man strangled me and beat me, only in the eyes - nowhere else. 100% my childhood trauma being messaged repeatedly: "Don't see the truth, Don't speak about it. Shut up" Targeted only Eyes and Throat.)

*I've had rare moments when a complete stranger showed more interest and caring to me than my family or friends ever have during the 24 years I've had a disabling illness.

 

[Celerity]

THANK YOU!

And, you tell me. I'm curious how this has become such a consistent practice? Do you know?

I often wonder if somehow I'm a magnet for toxic-positive people because that was inextricably part of my childhood abuse. Trauma does repeat itself. (I'm the case study/poster child for trauma weirdly repeating.)

(In my childhood home, if I HAD a problem I WAS the problem. and was badly scapegoated as a result. My two older siblings were able to shut down their self-awareness, pretend they were happy 24/7, become competitive and play the game

OR, are we in a culture where 95% of people lack any curiosity and/or compassion? And I'm just constantly surrounded by avoidance of anything that causes discomfort?

I'm not sure.

I've been repeatedly ignored, silenced and shunned for being or saying anything that was less than saccharine.
(as part of that repeat pattern. Another example, when I was assaulted, the man strangled me and beat me, only in the eyes - nowhere else. 100% my childhood trauma being messaged repeatedly: "Don't see the truth, Don't speak about it. Shut up" Targeted only Eyes and Throat.)

*I've had rare moments when a complete stranger showed more interest and caring to me than my family or friends ever have during the 24 years I've had a disabling illness.

I think people like to imagine that XYZ couldn't happen to them, so they tell themselves fairytales about how much better a person they are.

 

[Poor Stargazer]

My point is, both communism and capitalism have failed, have flaws, and have ruling classes. We could set up 100 of each system and all will fail assuredly. Maybe over different time frames, but like everything else humans try, it will fail.

Tell me a time an actual communist government has failed. Not an authortiarian or theocacy, but an actual communist government because its simply never existed except in the minds of the poor. Whereas i can point to numerous fascist governments that have failed like the present day United States. Idk, i think you cant do that

 

[WearyHSP]

I think people like to imagine that XYZ couldn't happen to them, so they tell themselves fairytales about how much better a person they are.

Agreed. I think it gives them a sense of control.

Just in my everyday life, I come across people who use various forms of avoidance. I'm sensitive, so I'm very good at picking up cues. It seems almost no one is ever curious (about my illness, about my trauma, about me in general.) And that's why I ask you (or anyone) if this is just how people are anymore? Self-absorbed and seeking only fluffy responses that feel good (even if insincere.)

Because it seems to me that WAY too many people react to me that way. So I'm back to the theory that trauma repeats itself. In my case, toxic positivity was used to undermine me and keep me silent, and since that is one portion of the trauma, it repeats by sending those types of people my way.
It just seems to happen WAY too frequently to me.

It's not an easy inquiry to respond to, I know.
I'm asking so that I don't over use the "trauma repeats itself" belief to expand to every single thing that happens to me. It surely feels like it's true almost every day.

 

[summers]

Tell me a time an actual communist government has failed. Not an authortiarian or theocacy, but an actual communist government because its simply never existed except in the minds of the poor. Whereas i can point to numerous fascist governments that have failed like the present day United States. Idk, i think you cant do that

Do you honestly think that humans, in our current state of evolution, have any chance of creating an government that lasts 10,000 years? I'm not saying communism isn't superior in many ways to capitalism (although I do have quite a few questions on how certain things would work now that so many people are in essence brands unto themselves thanks to exposure afforded by the internet).

I'm just saying that we need to evolve as humans, reduce or eliminate as many of our flaws as possible. It's much easier to progress on an individual basis than create a government/economic system that woks for hundreds of millions of people.

 

[callme]

Money can buy happiness because money can buy everything. You can pay people to be your friends, in fact they do themselves when you get rich, you can buy love definitely, many people are married for money or lack of them keeping them in a marriage, you can buy babies, you can buy justice you can buy knowledge you can buy the government, apparently you can buy space and science too.

Everything is for sale and it's sold every minute at a time.

If you wanted it, you would have done it - this one really retarded. So no other factors but me? Sure as sure can be. If you wanted to turn back time, you would have. What a stupid way to encourage somebody to do their best. Especially if they have something preventing them from it.

Slow and steady wins the race - not today, just get in pace already.

Game of Thrones and Vikings worship - they weren't anywhere advanced for their age, neither righteous. Ordinary vandals that had you know they are coming and you had to bolt down everything you have sucker, because they will take it, if they can't they'll burn it and if not, they'll f**k it.

Why are you messing around with him can't you see he's bigger - I can't believe i've heard this being said in the 21st cen. Hope the people who say so in ordinary everyday conflicts are handed an electric bill half their income.