• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
Painless_end

Painless_end

Life is too difficult for me
Oct 11, 2019
794
If you didn't have any of the problems that brought you to this site, and instead were able to develop your life in the way you wanted, where would you be right now and what would you be doing ?
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Forever Sleep, BeautifulMosaics, NearlyIrrelevantCake and 2 others
O

OldDrummer

Arcanist
Feb 4, 2022
435
Uneducated about myself and probably as stupid and as blissfully unaware as a cow merrily grazing in a pasture.
 
  • Like
Reactions: disillusion, Forever Sleep, Passersby and 3 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,339
I do not think that I have had any potential in life in the first place, I am not meant for this world and I cannot cope with life and that is just the way I am. There is nothing that I have ever wanted out of life, I have never wanted to live, I have always seen life as being so tiring, unnecessary and pointless.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: nolongersuicidal?, epic, betternever2havbeen and 3 others
C

CommitSudoku

never interfere with a lifespan reaping
Feb 12, 2022
524
Alabama. But that would be living up to what I wanted in life, the potential for my ideal happiness and not the potential others' saw in me.

Living up to my "potential" as seen by others - I'd probably be outside right now, functioning normally. I'd be bike riding or have the dog I had wanted going on a long walk together. I'd have friendships where we'd talk and share things normally. I'd value my work during the week and actually want to do things when I was off the clock or it was the weekend. I'd still play video games and enjoy them, and I'd partake in the creative endeavors I always wanted to but never had much time for - drawing/art and writing. Most definitely I wouldn't be scared to go outside, unsure what to even feed myself, and very highly considering getting drunk at noon just to make the time more bearable. But I don't know how to try to let myself be happy. Things seem to fall through and at this point I think I'd rather get drunk than hope for a possibility. In any case I'd just be functioning if I lived up to any potential, not this falling apart thing that's soon to be held together by alcohol, again.

@Curious89 what about you?
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: disillusion, Élégie, Passersby and 1 other person
headwood

headwood

Member
Feb 9, 2022
35
Making lots of great music with lots of great people.
 
  • Like
Reactions: disillusion, BeautifulMosaics and Sunset Limited
J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
Working in a sustainable job whether business administration or nursing, have some old friends around, traveled a bit, fixed my skin disease correctly
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: disillusion, Élégie and Sunset Limited
Sunset Limited

Sunset Limited

I believe in Sunset Limited
Jul 29, 2019
1,352
Then I would have to be a different person. Because I'm the one who got me to this point. So the problem is me. If I were someone different, I can't imagine where he would be.
 
  • Like
Reactions: nolongersuicidal? and CommitSudoku
WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,719
Definitely President of the USA.
 
  • Yay!
  • Like
Reactions: epic, Élégie, FindingPeace8 and 2 others
NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
1,734
If I hadn't ended up a mentally ill cripple, I would be a Mountie.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra, disillusion and Al Cappella
in hell out soon

in hell out soon

Student
Apr 27, 2020
114
Probably married with kids, made my (now dead) dead moms proud, went to some cool university and now travel everywhere and have a bunch of fun. Spend a good amount of time with family and have a steady group of friends with mutual respect.

But none of this is going to happen.
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: disillusion, epic and Journeytoletgo
LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,990
Running a 500acre Dairy/Arable farm, with a 350 strong dairy herd, and a Strong Purposef reason to exist! 🐄🐂🐃🐑🐏🐿️🐓🐔🥕🥔🥩🥚🧀🍞🥮☕🚜💻🚽🧻🗞️🕟🕕☕👍
 
  • Like
Reactions: disillusion
ForeverLonely82

ForeverLonely82

Experienced
Dec 22, 2021
207
A retro video game music composer and/or have a radio show. Was told by many I have a good radio voice and charasmatic as fuck. Seeing how I have no self esteem, I call bullshit, but I can't judge as they see me through eyes that aren't of my own.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: disillusion and vultureilse
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,143
I'd be doing ok in a creative job, with more friends that I kept in touch with. Maybe I'd be married. I always wanted that fairytale happy ending.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: nolongersuicidal?, Jarni and vultureilse
zenishere

zenishere

Member
Jan 23, 2023
11
If you didn't have any of the problems that brought you to this site, and instead were able to develop your life in the way you wanted, where would you be right now and what would you be doing?
I actually don't know. I can't find the meaning behind an aim. Why would you want to earn something if you can't take it with you? Why would you build anything if nothing lasts forever? Why would you want to go somewhere if you have to return to where you are? Why do you live if you know you have to die?
 
  • Aww..
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Jarni, disillusion and vultureilse
Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,576
a indie game developer programming was my passion into i got a brain injury, have a gf and a home
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: disillusion and vultureilse
Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
I think I was probably destined to fail due to bad wiring… I've never been cometant at anything… maybe if I was buying houses and flipping them starting in my early 20s, I will create itself independent wealth, and passive income…
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: disillusion, epic and vultureilse
Bitterman1996

Bitterman1996

Student
May 20, 2020
169
Maybe actually graduate and became a general practitioner, but i dont think i can handle the clinical rotation phase of the education and dropped out the same (well maybe with a bachelor degree)
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: disillusion, epic and vultureilse
vultureilse

vultureilse

ready to go, just waiting for the right time!
Dec 31, 2022
144
not sure tbh. ive never really had any ambitions or goals. i couldnt imagine myself going anywhere in life so ive never bothered with dreaming, its hard to imagine what id want to do in life if my life didnt suck. ig if i had to say id like to just be someone likeable with a group of close friends. if i didnt hate myself and everything i create maybe id get into making music or creating games or something
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Interloper, disillusion and epic
Anzhe

Anzhe

Chaotic chaOS
Jan 8, 2023
81
If you didn't have any of the problems that brought you to this site, and instead were able to develop your life in the way you wanted, where would you be right now and what would you be doing ?
I would be happy only if I had such huge power and money as Vladimir Putin. He dealt with many enemies in such cruel and original ways. It amazes me. He seems so invincible. He is Icon for psychopaths))
 
  • Yay!
Reactions: disillusion and Darkover
Zaragoza

Zaragoza

Not belonging to this universe
Oct 8, 2022
57
Most likely sitting in my car with my partner, looking at the sunset while i have no worries. Having a normal functioning brain just like everyone else, not this shit brain i was given at birth with genetically failed features
 
  • Like
Reactions: Regen and disillusion
S

SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
763
With just a little more nurturing and encouragement from my parents... with just a 10% improved appearance... a little less childhood trauma... a wee bit less awkwardness - I would've been a public speaker or activist of some sort.

A subject-matter expert that does speaking engagements and goes on news programs to discuss XYZ.

I would've been like an Angela Davis or someone. I feel it in my bones.

Like I've physically lived the life of someone I was not supposed to be.

At the very least, I would've still been one of the handful of POC in a managerial position at a Fortune 500 company.

If my brain had not malfunctioned, I could've still been faking the funk. Money coming out of my ass.

But people like me only get one chance - if that - to be someone. We don't get do-overs or redemption stories.

So that's that.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: annointed_towers, Papilio_polyxenes and disillusion
Jarni

Jarni

Love is a toothache in the heart. H.Heine
Dec 12, 2020
383
With a little bit better face and health : wife of a rich aristocrat and an artist
 
epic

epic

Enlightened
Aug 9, 2019
1,812
Entrepreneur in the tech space.
 
  • Like
Reactions: disillusion
H

Hurt

Paragon
Nov 13, 2020
905
Probably living in another country (better) having a well paid job and with a woman I love.
 
  • Like
Reactions: disillusion
disillusion

disillusion

Member
Nov 6, 2020
69
If i werent abused, if i werent bullied, if i werent depressed if i had better health, i know for sure i woud have ended up meeting much better less abusive partner unlike my parents and would be a top executive in fortune 500 companies or law firm partner making at least 300k …..

As i was always top 2-3% academically ( went to top schopl) and was called bright but my parents and all the mean cunts damaged me too much. of course my own weakness of being weak too…

most of my schoolmates who didnt even do as well as i did or my friends are in their best place, high paying professional job, top specialist doctor and also most of them are in happy relationships. never isolated. always smiling sociable and travel the world all the time. I would have live in nanny like my acquaintances, cleaning help and all the luxury too

i tried but now my childhood trauma and my hidden depression caught up..
i feel like i cant change my fate but many say i didnt live upto my potentials

I wouldn't know what suffering is. I would not have cared how unethical and immoral this world is. Would be too indulged in my own materialistic bliss, i would not know what being abused actually is. I would not know what depression truly is. I would not know what deep sadness is. I would respect and love my parents and my partner. I wouldn't be so annoyed with my child… i would not be too worried about bills …..
if i had more self confidence i would not have picked this mean partner who is spitting image of my parent

Less stress less arguing less fatigue so i would not have al these health issues caused by stress either…i would not have aged this much…because of less stress and any sign of aging, would be laying in laser clinic like my friends anyway. Would be eating best of best healthy food. Best quality clothes live in beautiful home blah blah and have wonderful loving family gathering. Would be cocky and think life goes the way i want etc

I would not be on medication. Or drinking. I would not cry this much I wouldn't have been hater and disillusioned and used. I would actually love myself and proud of what i have achieved… and adapt well in this evil world…. But i cannot undo my perspectives now knowing what this world did to me…….despite my intelligence i dont think I am suitable for this world mainly because of my upbringing but if i had loving supportive parents things could have been very different judging from how my cousins doing.. ( very successful and fulfilled and. happy)

I would actually have a real hobby i enjoy rather than 24/7 contemplating suicides actively
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: annointed_towers and epic
WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,431
Probably enjoying my hobbies. Maybe i'd be a gamer girl streamer since games are my passion, or i would have done something else with my life. I do not know.
 
  • Like
Reactions: disillusion
annointed_towers

annointed_towers

Cursed by God
Dec 9, 2022
320
Fulbright scholar, Harvard PhD about to start seminary school to be an ordained minister. But I forfeited the Fulbright and got off track when I fell in love with someone who ruined my life
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra, epic and disillusion
Rockman

Rockman

Experienced
Feb 9, 2020
211
I would be paragliding in the mountains screaming "fuck you motherfuckers!".
 
  • Yay!
Reactions: epic and disillusion
lofticries

lofticries

obedear
Feb 27, 2021
1,470
Traveling or part of a horror movie's production crew. Making enough money to support myself and some left over for fun.

Loving boy friend and cat to take the place of a child. A few friends here and there.
 
  • Like
Reactions: disillusion and epic

Similar threads

P
Replies
50
Views
2K
Suicide Discussion
sanction
sanction
WishfulNeanderthal
Replies
4
Views
428
Politics & Philosophy
WishfulNeanderthal
WishfulNeanderthal
SoulCage
Replies
11
Views
503
Suicide Discussion
UserFromNowhere
U
SovietSuicide
Replies
2
Views
331
Recovery
no mas
N