If i werent abused, if i werent bullied, if i werent depressed if i had better health, i know for sure i woud have ended up meeting much better less abusive partner unlike my parents and would be a top executive in fortune 500 companies or law firm partner making at least 300k …..
As i was always top 2-3% academically ( went to top schopl) and was called bright but my parents and all the mean cunts damaged me too much. of course my own weakness of being weak too…
most of my schoolmates who didnt even do as well as i did or my friends are in their best place, high paying professional job, top specialist doctor and also most of them are in happy relationships. never isolated. always smiling sociable and travel the world all the time. I would have live in nanny like my acquaintances, cleaning help and all the luxury too
i tried but now my childhood trauma and my hidden depression caught up..
i feel like i cant change my fate but many say i didnt live upto my potentials
I wouldn't know what suffering is. I would not have cared how unethical and immoral this world is. Would be too indulged in my own materialistic bliss, i would not know what being abused actually is. I would not know what depression truly is. I would not know what deep sadness is. I would respect and love my parents and my partner. I wouldn't be so annoyed with my child… i would not be too worried about bills …..
if i had more self confidence i would not have picked this mean partner who is spitting image of my parent
Less stress less arguing less fatigue so i would not have al these health issues caused by stress either…i would not have aged this much…because of less stress and any sign of aging, would be laying in laser clinic like my friends anyway. Would be eating best of best healthy food. Best quality clothes live in beautiful home blah blah and have wonderful loving family gathering. Would be cocky and think life goes the way i want etc
I would not be on medication. Or drinking. I would not cry this much I wouldn't have been hater and disillusioned and used. I would actually love myself and proud of what i have achieved… and adapt well in this evil world…. But i cannot undo my perspectives now knowing what this world did to me…….despite my intelligence i dont think I am suitable for this world mainly because of my upbringing but if i had loving supportive parents things could have been very different judging from how my cousins doing.. ( very successful and fulfilled and. happy)
I would actually have a real hobby i enjoy rather than 24/7 contemplating suicides actively