Venting When your gone what will people say about you?

[brokensoulsdiealone]

I've been treated poorly all my life I've been beat on physically and verbally abused since , will forever. I've been called a abuser because I can't always explain how I feel logically sometimes so I get angry its common for people with my disorder but not a excuse. I been lied to my doctors and psychiatrist time after time & been given medications that have never worked I'm starting to realize nun of it matters when your gone I can CTB whenever I'm ready knowing that doesn't make it anything better because I truly feel in my heart i can't heal from what has happend and has been done to me I can't change the fact that I have a illness and unable to carry a relationship/friendships I deeply feel remorse for any soul on this planet that I have hurt if they feel hurt I apologize my extensions are always pure but nun of this will matter when I CTB people will forget about me, people will not care and will not come to my aid in times of help I feel for those people who have no one I mean truly have no more by there side. My heart goes out to you I'm broken and ready like many on here and I'm looking to end this once in for all

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I think I will be forgotten rather quickly…

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

All the bad things! I could relate to much or all of what you said. My history, truths and the real cause of suicide will be changed when I am gone ,by the people who are responsible for bringing me to this state. But the world is full of liars, lies, hypocrisy and selfish people so I don't care what they will do or say about me. That's the best part about death. It provides a kind of solace to some that nothing else in life can.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you have suffered so unbearably in life. It could never matter to me what people would say after I am gone as I will not be there to see it. In comparison to death, life seems so temporary and meaningless. By the time I am dead, all my suffering will be insignificant. I wish you relief from pain.

 

[befree]

I don´t care about that.

 

[Gaga786]

I think people will be happy with my death. It'll bring some closure for them, I can just imagine them celebrating my death by having a feast. They would think finally the loser, nuisance and failure is dead. Im sure that lives will improve dramatically after I die!

 

[Worndown]

The truth is that life goes on. After a number of days people will need to work, shop and do all those normal tasks. They will still miss you. I have known several that departed early over the years. Looking back, I just feel sad for them. They faced insurmountable problems that we were not aware of.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

My family will probably be sad, some of my friends will be taken aback if it's revealed why I CTB'd, Almost all of my exes will NOT care but perhaps the one from 2014/2015 if she has feelings for me still (lol) will probably regret not telling me so and it will be too late (even though she is married to someone right now), my recent therapist will probably be annoyed that I lied to him about CTBing, and strangers won't care either way, and then there will be people who think I am idiot for choosing to CTB over transitioning. I guess a whole range of different thoughts and feelings. Doesn't matter. My mind is made up either way and they will all get over it anyways.

 

[brokensoulsdiealone]

I'm sorry that you have suffered so unbearably in life. It could never matter to me what people would say after I am gone as I will not be there to see it. In comparison to death, life seems so temporary and meaningless. By the time I am dead, all my suffering will be insignificant. I wish you relief from pain.

Beautiful answer insignificant is 100% right nobody will care once you are gone you are gone but when I say people I mean those you have trusted with you deepest darkest secrets and who have taken that information to further disrespect you even after death those are the people who will enjoy my death more then anyone else but I guess what so will I

My family will probably be sad, some of my friends will be taken aback if it's revealed why I CTB'd, Almost of my exes will care but perhaps the one from 2014/2015 if she has feelings for me still (lol) will probably regret not telling me so and it will be too late (even though she is married to someone right now), my recent therapist will probably be annoyed that I lied to him about CTBing, and strangers won't care either way, and then there will be people who think I am idiot for choosing to CTB over transitioning. I guess a whole range of different thoughts and feelings. Doesn't matter. My mind is made up either way and they will all get over it anyways.

This is very heartbreaking I feel for you for those who are alone all alone in this battle my heart goes out you to I hope weather your here with us of gone that you find the peace you been looking of some sort

 

[brokensoulsdiealone]

I think I will be forgotten rather quickly…

:( to be forgotten is very sad to me but still do not care if I am forgotten to not even be a though in someone's mind is the real heartbreak .weakness has been part of my life since birth, people will never care until you have left for good then they are left wondering why but the signs were infront of them the whole time

 

[WorthlessTrash]

This is very heartbreaking I feel for you for those who are alone all alone in this battle my heart goes out you to I hope weather your here with us of gone that you find the peace you been looking of some sort

Honestly, I feel bad for the people that may miss me. It's part of the reason I am struggling to go through with CTBing, but it is just a matter of time, and I am determined to keep it that way.

The way I see it is assume I stay alive. One of us (between me and the people that will miss me) will die before the other anyways, so someone is inevitably going to suffer. Why not have a useless person like me go first? I am of no use to society and I intend to be that way until I die.

 

[MaybeThisTime]

My family will be sad, and my friends.. ah wait i have no friends .
Anyway i bet most people will say '' he was a very good person'', and forget about me in a week at best.

 

[outrider567]

My cousin Pam will be shocked and saddened, had a nice 2 hour talk on the phone yesterday, and My stepmother will also be shocked and saddened, but I could care less about either's reactions--Neither of them had a 35 year relationship like I did, neither of them understand

 

[Brianiskillingme]

I am sure everyone will say oh she was depressed for yrs. Nobody will take any responsibility for their part in pushing me.

 

[~Q~]

Unstable, coward, depressed, anything people use to rationalize the decision i have made.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

He had bigger balls than me

 

[Lost Magic]

 

[lofticries]

Hopefully nothing.

Wish I could visit anybody whoever met me and be like.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

My daughter and my husband will likely be surprised and quite sad. My son will be sad, but may understand since I know that he has struggled in the past with depression and suicidal thoughts. My mother will likely be sad, but will still probably hold fast to her belief that anyone that kills themself is selfish and took the cowardly way out of life. I have no friends and I've not been in touch with other family members in eons.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

Are your kids adults? My mother sounds just like yours. She says ctbers are going to hell. Somehow, murderers get a second chance lol

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

Are your kids adults? My mother sounds just like yours. She says ctbers are going to hell. Somehow, murderers get a second chance lol

Yes, my kids are in their 30s.

I don't know if my mother thinks we'll go to hell or not. While she does fundamentally believe in God, she isn't really religious on a daily basis -- probably been decades since she's been inside a church for anything other than a wedding or funeral.

I know that she has been depressed herself for many years, if not most of her life, so I really think that her negative attitude towards those that finally take their own life is directly related to a hidden wish that she could be courageous enough to do it herself.

 

[armadillydally]

I think my family and friends will be absolutely shocked. Nobody knows about my urge to CTB, or rather, the fact that it is something very in the realm of possibility. I don't have real strife or conflict with anyone in my life, and have always had a very positive demeanor. They honestly might think I must've had a brain tumor or something to make me 'uncharacteristically' CTB. Nah, just good at masking.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

Yes, my kids are in their 30s.

I don't know if my mother thinks we'll go to hell or not. While she does fundamentally believe in God, she isn't really religious on a daily basis -- probably been decades since she's been inside a church for anything other than a wedding or funeral.

I know that she has been depressed herself for many years, if not most of her life, so I really think that her negative attitude towards those that finally take their own life is directly related to a hidden wish that she could be courageous enough to do it herself.

That's pure torment if that's how she feels. Constant suffering but can't end it due to beliefs.

 

[NotSureToEndure]

I hope they won't dwell on me too long, but I know I will cause some upset.

I don't have many close friends anymore but I know my partner will be devastated. I just hope she can continue to live with the spark of positivity that she's always had, and slowly build onto a strong and happy existence without me. I'm nothing special so I'm sure she can.

I'm leaving her all my money so hoping she will be fine in the long run but I can't help but understand it will hit her very hard...

I used to be as positive as her but I just can't find my drive anymore and think she deserves someone who can help her realise her dreams.

 

[Hurt]

Actually I dont care. No one talks to me nor send me any messages so I dont care about what they think or say about me after I die.

 

[thelocalmoon]

Unfortunately, I believe that they would care for my death. They are the one thing that makes life worth living, and I'm saddened that I will have to leave them.

 

[hyacinths]

maybe some will be sad, but give it a few months and people will realize how much their lives have improved without me. :)

 

[Capsaicin78]

You know the episode of fairly oddparents where everyones life is better without timmys life? yeah thats how I imagine it tbh. Not THAT harsh of course but... tbh im just a negative black hole that sucks up everything good it comes across

 

[fillthevoid]

My family will be sad instinctively I think purely since we are related and they have invested a lot into raising me. There will be a lot of pain, but I hope they can eventually get over it because honestly it's illogical as they'll be better without me in actual fact if they can only find a way to get over it. I don't contribute anything and it would simplify everyone's life me not being in it.

My boyfriend will be annoyed I think more than anything. Maybe initially angry and hurt but I think he'll eventually feel relief that he doesn't have to deal with me anymore. And he'll look back and be glad he got out.

I think everyone else, such as people at work, people who know me from work and just people out and about will hear about my passing and there'll be this initial shock and I guess I'll be a source of entertainment / a talking point, but then after a week it'll be forgotton.

I don't think I'm that memoriable. I think some people might say that I was compassionate and creative I guess.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

they'll just say i was "mentally ill" (i wasn't) and actually ignore that it was the prescription drugs that destroyed me