I've tried a lot of things to get better- TMS, antidepressants, therapy, mindfullness, trying to focus on the positives, hell even a self ban from here to work on recovery (you see how well that worked lol). Nothing works. Depression sucks and being suicidal without the guts to end it sucks. I just wish people would stop telling me it can get better- because it obviously hasn't.
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makethepainstop
Visionary
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2,029
Bro I feel the EXACT same way! You are not wrong. Much love to you, I know how you suffer.
58 years old, bouts of clinical depression since an early age. Tried everything out there but nothing works except hard excercise. Physical excercise lifts my mood and energy levels, but only by a moderate amount. My depression finally turned into anhedonia a few years ago and is now, I fear permanent. In my experience and through knowing others who are suffering the same, it rarely gets better. All the meds I tried never worked,or they just made me feel worse. And " Therapy" is a scam and a sick joke. I also managed to reach a high level in concentration meditation that helped for a while, but it ultimately messed me up because it triggered kundalini which is terrifying if you are not ready for it.Some people do however get better, and I sincerely hope that you are one of them.
jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,736
Well done for trying! 
You never know, things might still get better but I understand the pessimism, I've been battling depression for 25 years myself and often throw in the towel. I'm sorry you don't have it in you to end things yet either, being stuck in limbo is shit. Just existing. Pat yourself on the back for getting this far, it's up to you what you do next, I hope you find peace either way 
You never know, things might still get better but I understand the pessimism, I've been battling depression for 25 years myself and often throw in the towel. I'm sorry you don't have it in you to end things yet either, being stuck in limbo is shit. Just existing. Pat yourself on the back for getting this far, it's up to you what you do next, I hope you find peace either way Perhaps when- more like if they legalise euthansia- including for those 'mentally ill' and all those who wish to depart have a safer route- I imagine only then- if they are innundated with applicants that they will see that for some people, nothing works. Still- they would have to agree they'd exhausted all measures to grant them that in the first place I suppose.
Otherwise, all these 'treatments' make money- so- I doubt they will stop. As for friends and loved ones, they probably just won't accept that there is no hope left.
Otherwise, all these 'treatments' make money- so- I doubt they will stop. As for friends and loved ones, they probably just won't accept that there is no hope left.
its-about-time
nope
- Mar 19, 2022
- 807
LaVieEnRose
Angelic
- Jul 23, 2022
- 4,353
Some people will never see that and always cling to the idea that it will get better, no matter how much the empirical evidence suggests against that. But the most important thing is that you feel secure in your conclusions and decisions.
looseye
A boring person.
- Oct 27, 2021
- 187
Not a psychologist so take it with a grain of salt but from what I've heard over the years, medication isn't supposed to fix any major problems. Simply because as of now there is no magic pill that will heal you without deteriorating your body or coming with other extremely dangerous side-effects. I've never taken depresso meds myself, can't tell for sure what they do with you, but I talked to many people who just report temporary numbness, sleep improvement and stuff like that. Guess you can call that "passive" effects. The purpose is basically to stop unsettling emotions and nothing more. I believe.
Therapy... Apparently therapy works for some people and doesn't for others. They say therapy is an effort from both sides - you need to be determined to change something and the therapist is the one who knows the best ways for helping you get there. Sounds legit. I saw a therapist in my early childhood to fix some of my social issues I think... don't exactly remember. I hated therapy because I was forced to attend it and fixated my mind on not listening to any advice. Cause, obviously, I am incredibly smart and know better than everyone else, right? The result was a complete waste of time and money for my parents. I can imagine it would've turned out better if I hadn't been such a stubborn little bitch. Although, to be fair, there are certainly some things that cannot be fixed regardless of the effort you put in. And that's really heartbreaking.
Mindfulness is weird. Tried different spiritual fuckery. Kind of worked at first but didn't last long. It's probably a personality type thing, like working out or socializing or whatever. People say getting jacked will get rid of all your insecurities and make you a happy person. It does, I guess? For as long as you're committed to it, at least. There's no point in forcing yourself to be an athlete when you know this lifestyle has no meaning to you. There's no point in forcing yourself to make as many friends as possible when you prefer to be alone. And, ultimately, there's no point in cramping up that mindful energy when you couldn't give less of a shit about it.
For most people there are proven ways to get out of crippling depression. That's why standardized guides for psychologists exist. They just don't work every time. Depression is a frustratingly complicated condition, you even see that very clearly on SaSu. You can have person A sruggling immensely with something that person B has no issue with and likewise you can have the same treatment show totally different results for two people that fight the same inner demons. The human brain is a terribly sophisticated mess that even after decades of data-driven research we still don't understand nearly enough to be able to give universal recommendations for mental health.
Every year or so I re-read A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. You know, that futuristic dystopia where newborns get conditioned to perform specific tasks once they get older. I think it's a great world, actually. They have that magic pill that fixes all your mental problems in an instant without notable side-effects. Everyone's a hundred percent happy, all they need to do is pop that pill. Eventually they'll get euthanized peacefully to make room for future generations. I know it's going off-topic now but I just needed to mention that to me this isn't a dystopia. Who cares how exploitative that world is, everyone's sky high 24/7 so why would they mind? It's utopic as hell and reminds me of how our society could start aiming for such a world if we changed the way we look at ethical behavior. We do have the tools but are not allowed to utilize them in a way that would genuinely stop suffering instead of just covering it in a layer of stupid numbness.
I really apologize for this long-ass comment.
Therapy... Apparently therapy works for some people and doesn't for others. They say therapy is an effort from both sides - you need to be determined to change something and the therapist is the one who knows the best ways for helping you get there. Sounds legit. I saw a therapist in my early childhood to fix some of my social issues I think... don't exactly remember. I hated therapy because I was forced to attend it and fixated my mind on not listening to any advice. Cause, obviously, I am incredibly smart and know better than everyone else, right? The result was a complete waste of time and money for my parents. I can imagine it would've turned out better if I hadn't been such a stubborn little bitch. Although, to be fair, there are certainly some things that cannot be fixed regardless of the effort you put in. And that's really heartbreaking.
Mindfulness is weird. Tried different spiritual fuckery. Kind of worked at first but didn't last long. It's probably a personality type thing, like working out or socializing or whatever. People say getting jacked will get rid of all your insecurities and make you a happy person. It does, I guess? For as long as you're committed to it, at least. There's no point in forcing yourself to be an athlete when you know this lifestyle has no meaning to you. There's no point in forcing yourself to make as many friends as possible when you prefer to be alone. And, ultimately, there's no point in cramping up that mindful energy when you couldn't give less of a shit about it.
For most people there are proven ways to get out of crippling depression. That's why standardized guides for psychologists exist. They just don't work every time. Depression is a frustratingly complicated condition, you even see that very clearly on SaSu. You can have person A sruggling immensely with something that person B has no issue with and likewise you can have the same treatment show totally different results for two people that fight the same inner demons. The human brain is a terribly sophisticated mess that even after decades of data-driven research we still don't understand nearly enough to be able to give universal recommendations for mental health.
Every year or so I re-read A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. You know, that futuristic dystopia where newborns get conditioned to perform specific tasks once they get older. I think it's a great world, actually. They have that magic pill that fixes all your mental problems in an instant without notable side-effects. Everyone's a hundred percent happy, all they need to do is pop that pill. Eventually they'll get euthanized peacefully to make room for future generations. I know it's going off-topic now but I just needed to mention that to me this isn't a dystopia. Who cares how exploitative that world is, everyone's sky high 24/7 so why would they mind? It's utopic as hell and reminds me of how our society could start aiming for such a world if we changed the way we look at ethical behavior. We do have the tools but are not allowed to utilize them in a way that would genuinely stop suffering instead of just covering it in a layer of stupid numbness.
I really apologize for this long-ass comment.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,338
It does sound like you have been through a lot and it must be so tiring. I do get that it can be awful feeling trapped here unable to actually go through with ctb. The truth is that others will never be able to really understand what you have to experience as they are not living your life. Many people don't want to come to terms with the fact that things don't always improve for everyone as it would shatter their delusional view of the world. Toxic positivity really can be so irritating.
