Discussion When was the last time you were asked this?

[AloneInCollege]

I don't know why but I was trying to think back to a time where someone asked how I was and actually meant it. Like yeah I get "how are you" from people but in the sense of a greeting. "How are you?" "How are you doing?" even "How was your day?"
I genuinely can't remember the last time a person said this and actually meant it. Hell, I don't know the last time I heard the last one period.
What about you all. I would love to hear people's experiences.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Don't know, don't care.

 

[ryo the frog]

I get asked it everyday, but it's in the form of small talk. I've went from saying "good" to "fine" but I seem to be the only one that finds the change in response significant.
It's like when your parents would pick you up from school. you could've gotten run over by a car and all you'll say is "good."

 

[1000winds]

i avoid people because i dont want to be asked those question. the obvious answer is "I'm good" but i feel like a fraud responding this way.

 

[freedompass]

I tend to range between 'not bad' and 'good' but it depends who's asking. Many busy acquaintances will not be interested in the answer. Most of the time I prefer to go pour my heart out online anyway.

 

[Tomoko]

I doubt anyone ever means it. I used to wish someone would really mean it one day but older wiser me knows that the real answer would probably scare them away.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Friends generally don't ask because they can see things aren't going well…

 

[Spidermanspiderpoo]

I don't know why but I was trying to think back to a time where someone asked how I was and actually meant it. Like yeah I get "how are you" from people but in the sense of a greeting. "How are you?" "How are you doing?" even "How was your day?"
I genuinely can't remember the last time a person said this and actually meant it. Hell, I don't know the last time I heard the last one period.
What about you all. I would love to hear people's experiences.

I don't know how to respond to that. Ever since one of my best friends told me my emotions are too much for people to handle and my depression causes problems for people, I can never answer "how are you" in the true sense.. He told me he was avoiding me because I was suicidal. Honestly, I don't blame him, because the constant stream of negativity is definitely hard to be around. But yeah, it doesn't matter whether or not I get asked that.

 

[outatime_85]

The people who ask me, "How are you?" "How are you doing?" or "How was your day?" don't really want to know, so I default to the response, "I am okay."

No one in real life who chooses to interact with me wants to know me or have a meaningful exchange or connection, so conversations are one-sided and sometimes one-worded.

 

[absurd_to_the_end]

It's been a very long time since someone asked me that who I believe really wanted an honest answer.

I have no problem lying when it's used as a greeting, like with a sales clerk, but when it's someone I know I hate lying, though I do, because I know they don't really want to hear a negative answer.

 

[fastFWD]

yeah whenever I ask I really mean it and want to know but whenever anyone else asks they don't really care :/

 

[Sad_Sack]

Where we live now is a more neighborly type of place,for lack of better description, than I'm used to. I have taken little walks around the neighborhood and trail since we moved here 3 years ago and people always say hi and ask how its going and I always just say good how are you. I would love to tell them, " oh fucking horrible. My whole body works weird, everyone you see me walking in struggling with balance pain and dizziness and that I would love to be able to have a nice clear head and enjoy the smells in up the air, and the weather and trees but the truth is these things don't translate into anything anymore because my mind works like mush and my thought process is all broken to pieces so that I don't get a moment of comfort or enjoyment anymore for decades now. But how the fuck are you doing?"

All they want to hear is that you are doing good. None of them care about how you are really doing they just want to have a pleasant interaction for their own sake.

 

[almaranthine]

I usually say, "I'm hanging in there," or "it's going," and if I'm feeling really fucked up I say, "well...I'm still here." I cannot genuinely remember the last time anyone asked that I assumed really cared and would be able to deal with the sincere answer. Maybe never?

 

[chloramine]

I don't know when. I have one friend who does genuinely ask occasionally. I've taken to answering random people with "normal" because it doesn't feel as fake? This is normal for me. The majority of my life has been like this so.

 

[Hollowman]

When asked by store clerks I used to occasionally respond 'terrible but thanks for asking' got some funny looks Idgaf

 

[Hirokami]

Every now and then, I do get asked this. I typically say I'm "okay", maybe "fine" or "good" if I feel better. Sometimes it's the truth and I do feel pretty decent. Though, even if I feel like shit, I'll tell them I'm "okay" even if it's a lie. Even with people I'm close to, I'll lie. I don't want to burden anyone with my emotions.

 

[Forever Sleep]

My Dad does ask it in a genuine way but I also know he doesn't really want the genuine answer.

When it's people I only vaguely know, I just say 'fine thanks.'

Trouble is- often you can see the whole conversation laid out before you've had it- generally if I complain about this or that, it will be followed by something with 'at least' in- which I know will just piss me off even more. So- where possible, I try and dodge the question now.

 

[lionetta12]

I don't know why but I was trying to think back to a time where someone asked how I was and actually meant it. Like yeah I get "how are you" from people but in the sense of a greeting. "How are you?" "How are you doing?" even "How was your day?"
I genuinely can't remember the last time a person said this and actually meant it. Hell, I don't know the last time I heard the last one period.
What about you all. I would love to hear people's experiences.

I'm asked this daily but I know that it is a forced and superficial question to ask someone. I even learned this when I started working at a big tech company within their business branch, to never ever ask someone this because it's fake and insincere, nobody cares about how you are doing and when they ask you this question, they don't want any other response besides «good!». I find it to be pretty spot on.