Venting When people throw you away.

[Dino_flower]

Honestly what is this world?

I had a very close friend, still do but I'll get to that part later. She's an online friend and I know her for 4-5 years now. We both come from a rough living and we have had problems in our friendship with distance before but we have resolved them. I always told her that she could tell me whatever she wants, her troubles and her pain and I'll tell her what's going on with me as well. Recently however, I realized that dumping so much on to someone else may destroy a relationship so I told her to let me know if she wanted me to stop doing that, stop venting because I can't bear to harm someone that way. I always have something going on in my life but I usually cope with it with self-harm or writing/reading(basically arts) but I can't always resort to it. Now, I'm noticing that she hardly messages me. She was busy with academics before so I understood it then but now that her exams are over and with the fact that she told me she was completely free to chat with, she's just been ignoring me and casually posting on her story, likely other platforms as well. The reason why this angers me is because this is the exact turn and progression of events which preceded the loss of another friendship that I had with someone for almost 10 years. I was just ghosted on a random morning and never heard from that person again, who I used to call my best friend. No she isn't dead, she's alive alright which I'm glad about but it honestly breaks me how easy it is for people to discard and abandon their loved ones. Did she ever see me as a worthy friend? Do I even cross her mind? I'm starting to ask these questions again because of this event.

It hurts that I put in so much, my mind is numb to it now but I know when it will all come crashing down. I love her so much that I painted a potrait for her birthday even tho she lives continents apart from me. She used to put in so much effort in our friendship before, now it just seems like feigned gaiety, like a façade of altruism and cordial friendship, it seems sincere but not genuine. I can't go through this all over again.

 

[BlueberrySylv]

i have my fair share of experince in this topic of people moving on and generally just distance in a friendship.
for me myself since ive had a ton of online friends, although yours might be completely diffrent than mine...usually it just boils down for that person getting busier with certain activities. like playing or watching something. or they got really ocupied by someone else that they barely have free time. or anything of that sort.
though im just guessing and its really hard to say exactly as every human has diffrent minds. but generally if they seem to always ghost you everytime you dm them. they might be just...not as intrested. and if you only dmed them once then try again!

though. yeah. i dont understand people at all myself...idk how can some people detach from others so easily. i had my own friend who i was friends with for a whole year and were close friends and then because of something stupid they just left me blocking me and never even talking back. and they didnt even knew the whole story behind it.

some people really have a heart of stone...

but there are defininitely others who are way better and are really good. i have found some of those friends too! but theyre surely very rare...

 

[Dino_flower]

I'm losing all my friends now because I'm actually confronting them on their lack of sincerity in our friendship. I firmly believe in communication and giving people explanations when you ghost them because that's a mature and wise thing to do. I talked to her about it yesterday and she started arguing with me and victimizing herself. It's insane how she's my one and only closest friend but on her side she has a best friend and insists that she treats us the same. Although, I'm much beyond the age of expecting people to be singularly devoted and inclined towards me as I'm to them(the typical best friends who love eachother the most) I can't help but still feel weird and sad about it. I did so much for her and she would never see me in greater light as she sees her best friend who does not treat her so well(she told me herself). I'm tired, I don't fight over people no more, I just let them leave. My mom tells me that friends never stay, no one stays, your(telling me) family and husband maybe, although my family hates me and I don't want to marry. So yeah, it's a lonely life.

 

[yousaidimsweet]

i'm so sorry that you went through that. i've been in a similar place and i've never understood how people drop their friends so suddenly, either. sometimes its easier to look at the things people do rather than what they say, and take your next steps from there. i hope that one day you can find people who are more communicative with you and make you feel valued.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I've even delt with this from people who... Well, have felt like they were friends, but they weren't or coerced you to you you for their own gain, so it just equally bottles down to many things... What was ever the truth? I know I hurt others, but I left them while lying or distancing without them knowing because if I shared, I'd be ghosted, and I was always a victim of that because of my extremely soft heart that when I did overshare, it'd always backfire, and even believing or trusting people who she'd a fake side of me still didn't convince them to even give their time with me to aid or support me, and I just wondered what the fuck did I even do and why me? I fucking even wonder why people even say life is made when it never was especially when people use you the moment they interact with you and discard you when you aren't enough, especially as I have been told to talk with people my whole life that I'm drained if I do, and if I don't, I self isolate because their judgements just too damn much and wonder how the fuck am I ever was to survive? It just proves this world is a fucking hell...