When is the right time to CTB?

[WantToQuit]

I remember that on my university years I was very suicidal and wanted to CTB desperately everyday. But I postponed it every time.
Now I'm still very miserable, but the SI is still very strong. I just need to quit life and that's it. But I'm scared.

 

[nopointofliving]

There is no right time to CTB. It's something you decide according to your life and conditions. I wanted to try for my life before leaving, I did my best, now I think it's right time for me to leave. Other people may disagree, and argue that the right time to CTB as soon as possible, or maybe to do it impulsive. It's something you decide, no one can decide that for you.

As far as fear, I totally understand you. I'm also too scared to make such step. I'm scared to fail at it. However, I treat this fear like this: life is unpredictable, it can hurt me or reward me at any time. Any types of harm can happen to me at any time, but I won't live with fear thinking this is going to happen by 0.001%. The same thing goes with CTB, there is probability I will become a veg after a failing attempt, but I can't prevent that, I believe such harm will happen to me any how either by CTB or not. We're also destined to die at certain time (you may also believe in this), so if I'm destined to die with CTB, I'll be successful, otherwise, I won't.

You know, you need to take risks in life, you either take risks to live or die. Make sure you did all the attempts to live well, then death can be easier relatively.

And lastly, I'm not a pro-lifer or someone like that, however, I suggest you try to find solutions for your problems, maybe suicide isn't what you need in your life. Maybe you're looking for something different. Much love and tight hugs <3

 

[Callie Arcale]

life is unpredictable, it can hurt me or reward me at any time. Any types of harm can happen to me at any time, but I won't live with fear thinking this is going to happen by 0.001%.

Wise words.

 

[FuneralCry]

We all have the right to exit this world at a time of our choosing, it is your life and your decision. Only you know when the right time is to ctb. I believe that in my case, it will be a feeling I have, that I know it is time to leave. I wish you the best.

 

[WantToQuit]

We all have the right to exit this world at a time of our choosing, it is your life and your decision. Only you know when the right time is to ctb. I believe that in my case, it will be a feeling I have, that I know it is time to leave. I wish you the best.

Yeah but then SI kicks in and many people postpone the act of CTB each time... Then they find themselves 20 years later still living in their body. That's the downside.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yeah but then SI kicks in and many people postpone the act of CTB each time... Then they find themselves 20 years later still living in their body. That's the downside.

I understand this, more than anything I wish it was easier to leave. It is such a dreadful thought, potentially having to deal with this life for many more decades. It is a very horrible existence.

 

[Crazy4u]

there is no right time. It is not easy to leave. We are alive for a reason even if we don't know the reason.

 

[D&D]

there is no right time. It is not easy to leave. We are alive for a reason even if we don't know the reason.

I thought like that for a long time ... that 'we are alive for a reason even if we don't know the reason.' Until it occurred to me that not knowing the reason, not being able to even glimpse it, equates to living by instinct. Basic, animalistic survival instinct dressed in the finery of 'meaning' ... an illusive, mysterious and as such a concept most acceptable to humans.

For a sometime now I answer the 'right time' question with AW's wise words - 'When the show is no longer worth the candle.'

 

[Ta555]

there is no right time. It is not easy to leave. We are alive for a reason even if we don't know the reason.

I don't believe there's any reason. We're all just a random product of a random sperm and a random egg meeting at a random point in time. There is no mystical reason for being alive. You can make your own reason. I have lots of reasons I want to keep living but my body and brain don't co-operate.

 

[Crazy4u]

@D&D & @Ta555 I don't know WTF I was typing! I thought I stopped being delusional about life but I get these delusional thoughts once in a while. You are both right.

 

[Ta555]

@D&D & @Ta555 I don't know WTF I was typing! I thought I stopped being delusional about life but I get these delusional thoughts once in a while. You are both right.

You're not delusional. We're all allowed our own beliefs about life and its meaning. Sorry I didn't mean to contradict you or anything, just stating my own views.

 

[D&D]

@D&D & @Ta555 I don't know WTF I was typing! I thought I stopped being delusional about life but I get these delusional thoughts once in a while. You are both right.

As @Ta555 said - you are not delusional and are allowed to your own beliefs' and meanings. I can only add - even if you are 'delusional' - so what?! We all are in one way of the other.

 

[greyautumnsky]

There's no right time. You decide if things have meaning or don't have meaning. That's the pain and horror and beauty of it. We all have free will. And that's overwhelming.