When is the last time you felt "alive"

[Roadkill]

For me, it was probably around 2001, the 2nd year of my marriage.. the possibilities seemed endless, I felt an excitement in the air... but now, I just want this nightmare to end.. I am so bored with life, I can't wait for it to end

 

[Symbiote]

Maybe when I was a little kid, didn't know right from wrong, or what I did was wrong or right. Pain became normal and accepted. Looking back at it, even though it was extremely harmful for me, it was the most "alive" I ever felt. Afterwards, I'm just dead on the inside.

 

[articledon]

I truly can't remember. My last 5 years plus went like this..I took care of my dad in home hospice til he passed, my mom fell ill a month later, I took care of her on home health and then hospice til she passed a couple of months ago then last week my sister fell ill and passed away so I'm the only one left.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

Just now after popping some Adderall. In a realistic aspect though, I think the last time I felt alive was when I went to an Anime Convention with a friend of mine 2 years ago, happiest time of my life, no family to being overbearing or questioning what I was doing 24/7, just me and my friend. I miss the freedom.

 

[WornOutLife]

I've had many changes of mind as for feeling alive and dead but the last time I felt alive was last week! I was really optimistic about everything but these days have been hell. I'm feeling kinda dead.

Hope to feel alive again soon!

 

[Dead beat dad]

For me this comes and goes. I think I've been dead inside for a long time but every now and again I will 'twitch' not really alive, but more a nervous spasm giving the false impression of life.
DBD

 

[Makko]

Never. My cradle is my grave and I've never felt as anything other than an undead trying to dig myself out, and it feels like I've been buried awfully deep. From early childhood to now, it's just digging upwards through suffocating dark earth, towards a surface that I hope and imagine is up there somewhere, where there might be fresh air and freedom and a great starry sky.

 

[loopylou]

2017

 

[MrBlue]

Probably 2014. Though I've never really had a life, I just took a while to realise it.

 

[fastFWD]

anytime i do some kind of drug i feel alive (meth is best) otherwise i'm pretty much toast. can't really get by without being on something.

 

[Kbeau]

I truly can't remember. My last 5 years plus went like this..I took care of my dad in home hospice til he passed, my mom fell ill a month later, I took care of her on home health and then hospice til she passed a couple of months ago then last week my sister fell ill and passed away so I'm the only one left.

My Lord!

 

[articledon]

My Lord!

Yeah, I was tearing up while typing that :(

 

[ScaredToLive]

Age 21. I loved life then

I truly can't remember. My last 5 years plus went like this..I took care of my dad in home hospice til he passed, my mom fell ill a month later, I took care of her on home health and then hospice til she passed a couple of months ago then last week my sister fell ill and passed away so I'm the only one left.

Really sorry to hear this.

 

[demuic]

Late 2014

 

[articledon]

Age 21. I loved life then

Really sorry to hear this.

Thank you, yeah I'm pretty broken and numb

 

[booray]

It's been so long now that I can't really pinpoint when. I was addicted to crystal meth for a few years and I realize now that the "alive-ness" that I felt when I was using was a complete illusion. Since I became sober only after my life was completely destroyed, I've felt completely dead inside. Anhedonia is the word for it. I no longer derive any joy from living.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

It's been so long now that I can't really pinpoint when. I was addicted to crystal meth for a few years and I realize now that the "alive-ness" that I felt when I was using was a complete illusion. Since I became sober only after my life was completely destroyed, I've felt completely dead inside. Anhedonia is the word for it. I no longer derive any joy from living.

Its hard to truly experience joy after having your dopamine fried. Or well, everything feels like a dream or amazing on pills. Never tried meth though, good for quitting.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

before may 27 2020, the day I was killed

 

[Good4Nothing]

Last year, around this time.
Met a girl, flipped for her.
But it was just a manic episode, and she turned out to be a piece of shit.

 

[Pen>Sword]

Early 2017 before I made regrets. My life isn't the same anymore. I just want to die.

 

[lofticries]

I felt alive right up until age 9. Anything passed that I've just felt numb.

 

[Toptock]

I was in college, when i would leave class I'd go to a gym my buddy operated and teach kids parkour. Then I'd go to work where my boss was an absolute badass who was funny and we loved.


Now im a dropout. I dont talk to the buddy, gym is closed, boss died and I am glad i got to experience it all, but the ability to recall how much i appreciated what i had makes it hurt all the more.

This was 2-4 years ago when all this happened.

 

[Adamsnolife]

Quite a few years ago now

 

[Trisolaris]

When I was 16-17.

 

[GarageKarate07]

For me, it was probably around 2001, the 2nd year of my marriage.. the possibilities seemed endless, I felt an excitement in the air... but now, I just want this nightmare to end.. I am so bored with life, I can't wait for it to end

How old are you? Just a vague number?
I think mine was..... I can't really think of it. I think that's a good question. It really let's you know how long you have actually been sad. Like a real good look into the mirror for where you are now and how long it has just been empty or dark or a void.

 

[Thegoldenapples]

8 years ago, was happy as Larry, never even thought of cbt in my life and then medical professionals got their hands on me. Downward spiral from there. Had I stayed away from the system, I'd be fine. Medical negligence is a massive issue.

 

[Roadkill]

How old are you? Just a vague number?
I think mine was..... I can't really think of it. I think that's a good question. It really let's you know how long you have actually been sad. Like a real good look into the mirror for where you are now and how long it has just been empty or dark or a void.

I'm 58... I guess old age is the thing that scares me the most, although I am in good health, so at least I have that

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I wish I knew. Maybe 2018? 2019? But even then I remember feeling quite detached so idk.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I don't remember ever feeling alive. Existing as a husk of a person has been my norm as far back as I can remember. I frankly don't understand how I haven't fallen into psychosis.

 

[Lost Magic]

I feel most alive when I am sleeping.