when do you plan to ctb

[lkjhgfdsa1]

just curious
Edit: comment ur preferred method!!

 

[falling_snow]

Prob in one or two months, or during this year

 

[iloverachel]

I don't think i will ever ctb while my parents are alive
I would feel too guilty and terrible for them. When it is their time to pass, I would have no reason to live and take my life

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

I don't think i will ever ctb while my parents are alive
I would feel too guilty and terrible for them. When it is their time to pass, I would have no reason to live and take my life

I also feel terrible to my mom
She has tried to help me a lot and I feel deeply ashamed and guilty to her for being her daughter
but my wish to die and for everything to be over is greater

 

[DeathWish3301]

ASAP -- I hate waking up wishing I hadn't, every single day.

Waiting to aquire a peaceful method or finding a partner that can provide one since I'm broke right now. Too scared of survival to jump off a building, in front of a truck or train ,etc.

If only my 15+ CTB attempts in the past worked.

 

[FuneralCry]

I envy those with the option to die in a reliable, painless way, it's truly so hellish how suicide isn't seen as the human right it truly is, I wish for a death as peaceful as never waking again, all I wish for is to sleep eternally. It's horrific how I cannot just choose to peacefully die with no risks and complications involved, what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to much worse suffering.

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

ASAP -- I hate waking up wishing I hadn't, every single day.

Waiting to aquire a peaceful method or finding a partner that can provide one since I'm broke right now. Too scared of survival to jump off a building, in front of a truck or train ,etc.

If only my 15+ CTB attempts in the past worked.

15?! That's a lot
what happened

 

[Agon321]

Unless something very unlikely happens in my life, it will definitely happen this year.
It's hard for me to say when now.

According to my current analysis, I will live at most until November this year.
But I can also CTB even this month if something unpleasant happens.

Maybe I'll even prepare a goodbye thread soon. However, mine will most likely be published after my death. In my opinion this is the best option.
My thread will simply serve as an additional resource.

I feel strange, but I've known since last year that it had to happen sooner or later. Time flies very quickly ;).

 

[DeathWish3301]

15?! That's a lot
what happened

Attempted various methods. OD on medications & booze, partial hanging, CO with charcoal. Went to train tracks almost every night for a month to jump but couldn't do it, I don't count those times, though. I still go once in a while knowing I don't have the courage.

What happened?

They either failed, couldn't handle the pain or SI kicked in; or got the police called on me a few times by neighbors.

 

[FireFox]

I am 27 and I plan to kill myself at 30 because I don't want to see another decade.

My 20s have been an absolute mess and I am just tired of it all. I really wanted to live and tried so hard to really make things work out for the best but I am done fighting. Last year was the worst year of my life that was when I finally gave up on life all together.

All I wanted was a man to love me, a stable career doing something meaningful and just to be happy generally.

I don't want to be single in my 30s. I have been single in my 20s it has been so lonely and I finally can't cope anymore with the years of male rejection.

Life is not for me.

I envy those with the option to die in a reliable, painless way, it's truly so hellish how suicide isn't seen as the human right it truly is, I wish for a death as peaceful as never waking again, all I wish for is to sleep eternally. It's horrific how I cannot just choose to peacefully die with no risks and complications involved, what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to much worse suffering.

@FuneralCry Suicide is inherently painful no matter what method you choose.

The human body is more resilient than people realise thst is why failed suicide attempts happen. Your body will always fight for your survival even when your mind gives up on you it is crazy.

There is no such thing as a peaceful way of passing because the body will fight til the end for your survival.

Why do overdoses and poisoning fail?

The human body can detect posions and harmful agents that enter the body, SN is a posion and the body will recognise it as harmful agent so will fight to expel it out of the body

The reason why most poisoning and overdoses fail is because the body successfully expels the substance out of the body. The overdoses that do succeed the body wasn't strong enough to expel the poisonous substance that entered. How strong your body is will determine how successful your method will be.

Why does jumping over train methods fail at times ?

When people try to jump the body does stop you from making the jump using that fear and anxiety to stop you from jumping properly

The list is endless.

15?! That's a lot
what happened

@dkrw People think suicide is easy. The media will always report a successful suicide especially if it is young person to sell stories.

Suicide is not is not easy because attempting sucide regardless of method is a painful act exposing the body to harm. Naturally the body will fight to protect you from any harm the body is exposed too or potentially exposed.

The reason assisted Suicide for all kinds of pain is legal in Switzerland its because Swiss society recognises that killing yourself is not easy and can expose a person to more harm if they try it themselves.

ASAP -- I hate waking up wishing I hadn't, every single day.

Waiting to aquire a peaceful method or finding a partner that can provide one since I'm broke right now. Too scared of survival to jump off a building, in front of a truck or train ,etc.

If only my 15+ CTB attempts in the past worked.

@DeathWish3301 Don't feel bad suicide is not easy as people in society think it is.

Suicide is never easy because attempting sucide regardless of method is a painful act exposing the body to harm. Naturally the human body will fight to protect you from any harm the body is exposed too or potentially exposed. This is why a failed suicide attempts are more common but the media won't report that instead will report a successful suicide to sell papers.

The reason assisted Suicide for all kinds of pain is legal in Switzerland its because Swiss society recognises that killing yourself is not easy and can expose a person to more harm if they try it themselves.

Attempted various methods. OD on medications & booze, partial hanging, CO with charcoal. Went to train tracks almost every night for a month to jump but couldn't do it, I don't count those times, though. I still go once in a while knowing I don't have the courage.

What happened?

They either failed, couldn't handle the pain or SI kicked in; or got the police called on me a few times by neighbors.

@DeathWish3301 The truth is majority of humans fear death even the most cold blooded murders fear death too look at how they fight til the end to avoid getting the needle. Whether or not you believe in a God or a higher power of some kind we don't know what happens when we die. That uncertainty scares people.

Once a person attempts the suicide the reality there is no coming back frightens them which is why they can't bring themselves to kill themselves.

PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM THE TRAIN TRACKS.

Train is the WORST and most DANGEROUS method because this is one method a person CANT afford to make a mistake or screw up otherwise the results will be loss of limbs and permanent disability.

Jumping against a train involves a high level of accurate and precise calculation from the time you stand against the platform/chosen surface and the seconds the train comes to the final part when you jump. This is a narrow window often with seconds.

Anything can go wrong during this time period.

●The train decides to stop or reduces its speed as result instant death will not happen as there is not enough force to instantly kill the person. In UK where I live a woman tried to kill herself using the train method. The method failed and she ended up losing lost both her legs.

I also feel terrible to my mom
She has tried to help me a lot and I feel deeply ashamed and guilty to her for being her daughter
but my wish to die and for everything to be over is greater

@dkrw It is not your fault mental illness is so cruel. It is so scary how the brain is a natural organ of the body but it uses our past traumas, insecurities ,phobias and other fears to torment us.

One of the worst things about being suicidal is no one saw how hard that person fought til the very end to give themselves a good life and to achieve recovery.

Your mother loves you and you are worthy to be her daughter which is why she has not given up on you.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I have no plan atm. I'm not happy with my life, I'm not happy with my personal situation and I'm not suicidal enough either.

Preferred method: Drug/med OD or CO with charcoal.

 

[Drago369]

i will ctb using SN tonight

 

[gantaigarashi]

Either on June 9 or June 16. Depends on how long my savings last

 

[PinballWizard39]

After my 'long term' therapy, turned 12 sessions of therapy, ends. I'm 4 sessions in. I either want to get better or die. I don't want 'maintenance' of my condition anymore, I can't take it. After these sessions, I'll be lucky to get anything for at least a year or 2 due to waiting lists on the NHS and I can't afford to go private. I literally can't do it anymore and I'm even questioning why I'm bothering with the sessions I do have right now, knowing it won't be enough.

 

[fallenleaf]

After my 'long term' therapy, turned 12 sessions of therapy, ends. I'm 4 sessions in. I either want to get better or die. I don't want 'maintenance' of my condition anymore, I can't take it. After these sessions, I'll be lucky to get anything for at least a year or 2 due to waiting lists on the NHS and I can't afford to go private. I literally can't do it anymore and I'm even questioning why I'm bothering with the sessions I do have right now, knowing it won't be enough.

I've kinda given up with the NHS I'm all honesty. Their mental healthcare feels non-existent. I have debilitating mental health issues and never even got any proper help for it.

Even when I was required to see a crisis team after a ctb attempt, nothing ever came of it.

 

[billie]

July

 

[PinballWizard39]

I've kinda given up with the NHS I'm all honesty. Their mental healthcare feels non-existent. I have debilitating mental health issues and never even got any proper help for it.

Even when I was required to see a crisis team after a ctb attempt, nothing ever came of it.

I'm really sorry you've had such crappy experienced with them too. It's just not good enough.
I was with them from the ages of 15 - 32, at which point I was told there was nothing they could do (they actually just stigmatised me and gave me the wrong help). I tried to CTB in 2020 and nearly succeeded and they rang me up just to tell me I wasn't ill enough and they wouldn't be helping me. Up until last Dec, they stayed away. They were forced back on me after I had a melt down at work and my boss dragged me to A&E. The got the home treatment team/crisis team involved and these 12 sessions are all that have come from it. I was suicidal before they got involved again and I'm still suicidal now - mainly because I know the help (aka hope) isn't there.

 

[fallenleaf]

I'm really sorry you've had such crappy experienced with them too. It's just not good enough.
I was with them from the ages of 15 - 32, at which point I was told there was nothing they could do (they actually just stigmatised me and gave me the wrong help). I tried to CTB in 2020 and nearly succeeded and they rang me up just to tell me I wasn't ill enough and they wouldn't be helping me. Up until last Dec, they stayed away. They were forced back on me after I had a melt down at work and my boss dragged me to A&E. The got the home treatment team/crisis team involved and these 12 sessions are all that have come from it. I was suicidal before they got involved again and I'm still suicidal now - mainly because I know the help (aka hope) isn't there.

It's a joke isn't it? You always see people saying "go to therapy" and I wonder if that's even a thing in this country? Seems like you can only get it if you pay good money for it and mentally ill/suicidal people don't really tend to be in the best place financially.

I hate this country.

 

[PoisonTeaTime]

I'm in need of a liver transplant and without it, I'm expected to die within a year. I hope that I will die or kill myself before October where my oldest sister will try to see if she could donate a portion of her liver. Living basically confined in your apartment, on meds 24/7 and oxygen, and having to deal with stupid legal shit like Medicaid, SNAP, social security, etc., is not an existence worth living. Would honestly rather be dead.

 

[PinballWizard39]

It's a joke isn't it? You always see people saying "go to therapy" and I wonder if that's even a thing in this country? Seems like you can only get it if you pay good money for it and mentally ill/suicidal people don't really tend to be in the best place financially.

Yeah it really is a joke. A lot of people keep saying to me 'at least you have 12 sessions' - I'm sorry but complex PTSD and treatment resistant depression, plus anxiety, eating disorders etc, they are not going to be cured in 12 sessions. It's like, if you have a mental health problem in this country, make sure it's a straight forward fix else you are f*cked.

 

[everythingoes]

At the end of this summer. Because it's my favorite season and I want to have one last summer. I haven't planned anything fun, I'm just gonna do what I always do, go to work, come home, relax, watch movies.. the usual. Though if I get a hold of SN and everything I need sooner than I thought, I might do it sooner. I'm planning to take 2 weeks off work toward the end of August, travel to another city, book a hotel room and do it there.

 

[3/4Dead]

Both asap and after this year; I don't expect the stars to align in the right way (waiting for certain conditions to be met before i do it) so I expect i'll be around for another year or two.

 

[FireFox]

I have no plan atm. I'm not happy with my life, I'm not happy with my personal situation and I'm not suicidal enough either.

Preferred method: Drug/med OD or CO with charcoal.

@Praestat_Mori I plan to use those methods too. I want to just pass out and never wake up again.

I can see myself dying in a tent somewhere in a forest in the UK or deep in a park. My city has loads of enormous parks with lots of land and parts where members of the public do not venture.

 

[Forveleth]

Got my trusty rope ready for full suspension. No schedule as I don't want to put that pressure on myself. I'll know I'm ready when the moment comes like I was the first time.

 

[FireFox]

Yeah it really is a joke. A lot of people keep saying to me 'at least you have 12 sessions' - I'm sorry but complex PTSD and treatment resistant depression, plus anxiety, eating disorders etc, they are not going to be cured in 12 sessions. It's like, if you have a mental health problem in this country, make sure it's a straight forward fix else you are f*cked.

@PinballWizard39 12 sessions is not enough. A lot of mental health services particularly in the UK are catered for mild and moderate cases of mental illness.

Mental health awareness is too focused too much on mild and moderate cases where as severe cases are not as focused on.

I have had mental wellness advocate arseholes lecture me about using mind the charity for help and other low cost alternative services to the NHS and even called me "lazy" and blaming me for not trying hard enough. These patronising arseholes don't understand that me being suicidal most of the services will not touch me and I have to go through the NHS.

 

[shtangley01]

I'd like to do it before I turn 20 like, next month, but I know that's just wishful thinking.

 

[ham and potatoes]

I have no plan atm. I'm not happy with my life, I'm not happy with my personal situation and I'm not suicidal enough either.

Preferred method: Drug/med OD or CO with charcoal.

I'm kinda in the same boat as you. I'm not in an immediate rush it leaves this world, I'm merely looking to secure options in case things don't improve.
I'm hopeful I can get my life / mind back to where it was this time a couple years ago, but incase I can't, I would like to have a peaceful method at my disposal

 

[PinballWizard39]

@PinballWizard39 12 sessions is not enough. A lot of mental health services particularly in the UK are catered for mild and moderate cases of mental illness.

Mental health awareness is too focused too much on mild and moderate cases where as severe cases are not as focused on.

I have had mental wellness advocate arseholes lecture me about using mind the charity for help and other low cost alternative services to the NHS and even called me "lazy" and blaming me for not trying hard enough. These patronising arseholes don't understand that me being suicidal most of the services will not touch me and I have to go through the NHS.

100%. It's all about statistics really. If you get better quickly, they look better. Right now I'm being fobbed off with 'therapy' designed to maintain you, not help you here, and I just don't want it. That's supposedly after the 12 sessions and after a ridiculous waiting list. I've spent too many years with people trying to maintain me. I've found like you, that with charities such as Mind, you end up deemed too sick for them and for a long time, I was deemed not sick enough for the mental health team. It's so ridiculously messed up.

 

[anhedonya]

Before the first week of June ends. Maybe earlier than that depending on how the days go. I chose drowning.

 

[dask]

It depends, if i can keep it up just one more year until i move out i dont plan at all but if it ends up just being too much ill do it if i decide to not run away